


So Much for a Fresh Start

by purple_grapes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, M/M, Past Character Death, Pregnant Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:11:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 48,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6523363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_grapes/pseuds/purple_grapes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the worst summer of her life Clarke Griffin decided to move to the small city of Arkadia to open a gallery and art supply store. What she didn't plan on was meeting a good looking freckled stranger her first night in town. What she really didn't plan on was finding out she was knocked up six week later, the father nowhere to be found.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fanfic! Hope you like it.

2:00

I’d know in just two minutes, there was no need to freak out. For the next two minutes there was nothing to worry about. I set my phone down on the back of the toilet, next to the thin white stick that was about to determine how the rest of my life would go.

1:56

My hands were covered in paint. I should be more specific, I’m an artist so my hands are usually covered in paint, but today it was house paint. I’d finally gotten around to painting the walls of my new apartment. I’d stuck with classic white, it went well with my warm wooden floors and was the perfect background for my eclectic (okay, mismatched) antique furniture and favourite pieces of art, most of which was still packed up, even six weeks after moving in.

Wait, should I be using house paint if I was… I couldn’t even think the word. I couldn’t even think the stupid word and I’d already harmed the kid with paint fumes! I was already a terrible mother!

Focus. I just had to focus. There was nothing to worry about yet. And the painting was done now anyway. The windows were wide open, the supplies packed away. I could sleep downstairs on the couch in the little office tucked behind what would soon be the art store and gallery. 

1:27

How was it taking so long? Was my timer broken? Maybe I should check, where had I left my dad’s watch?

Oh god, my dad. He would never get to meet the baby. Oh god, Wells! Oh god, what would my mother say?

Fighting back tears I forced myself to stay calm and wait for the test. I could at least clean up, I decided, then washed my hands a little too vigorously, forcing myself to watch the paint flow down the drain and not to think about my dad. Or Wells. Or the test.

I couldn’t even look my own reflection in the eye. How the hell had I gotten here?

1:12

I knew exactly how I’d gotten here, three gin and tonics, two shots of tequila and a smirk from a curly haired, freckled stranger that had caused my insides to flip over.

Fuck!

I was usually so careful. I was always so careful! But earlier this year I’d learned that no matter how careful you are you can still be broken. And even then all I’d done was reassess and come up with a new game plan. But it had all come crashing down on me that first night. Alone in an almost empty apartment and not knowing a single person in my new town it had felt like the walls were closing in. So I’d rooted through my suitcase for something clean, shook my hair out and clamoured down the two flights of stairs and onto main street looking for… for something. Food, I guessed from the grumbling of my stomach.

Downtown wasn’t large. Hell, Arkadia wasn’t large compared to Polis, the city I’d spent my whole life in. But Arkadia was nice, a small city two hours up the coast from Polis. Main street was about three blocks from the ocean, but the fresh salty smell was everywhere and I imagined my hair was already starting to frizz.

I’d locked up the small side door of the building and took a minute to look up at the tall three story building with pride. This was mine. This would be great. But my sense of hope and pride faded as I remembered the people who would never be there to see it and I turned, wandering down main street. There were a few cute shops, a gym that advertised kung-fu and yoga, a coffee shop I planned on getting to know very well, and a dinner that looked like it was out of the sixties. I paused outside of the diner and looked in, not quite feeling the cheerful atmosphere. I kept walking and soon came to a bar called the Dropship that advertised fish and chips were on special and highballs were two for one. What more could a girl ask for?

The inside of the bar was smoke free but so dimly lit that I imagine the smoky haze through the room. There were a handful of large booths along the back wall, a few high top tables in the middle of the room and, of course, the bar. An older woman sat at one end of the bar, her eyes glued to the tv and her face saying not to bother her. A couple of men my age or maybe a bit older played pool across the room and a girl with dirty blonde hair stood behind the bar studying a textbook. 

I sat in the middle of the bar, not wanting to bother the stern looking woman or hear the guys playing pool. The bartender’s eyes shot up from her book when she noticed me and she gave me a quick once over before coming to take my order.

“New to town?” she asked. Was it that obvious?

“Yes, it’s my first night,” I said.

“Welcome to the thriving metropolis of Arkadia. I’m Harper,” she extended her hand.

“I’m Clarke,” I told her, returning her handshake.

“Well Clarke, what can I get for you?” she asked.

“The fish and chips sound good,” I said. “And a gin and tonic, please.”

“It’s two for one, want me to make it a double?” I nodded and she served my drink before wandering back to the kitchen to put my order in. I glanced up at the tv but couldn’t get as into the weather channel as the woman sitting down from me was. Since staring off into the distance was frowned upon in public and I was trying to make a good first impression on my new town, I rooted through my bag for my phone. Of course I’d forgotten it. But I did find my sketchbook and was halfway through drawing the view from my childhood bedroom by the time Harper brought my food over.

“You’re really good,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied, wiping the smudged graphite on my jeans before digging into my supper. It was heavenly. I nodded when Harper asked if I wanted another drink, forgetting that she was pouring doubles. I was feeling the alcohol when I’d finished eating and figured it was time to head home when one of the men who’d been playing pool sat down beside me.

“Wow, that’s great,” he said, pointing to the sketch I’d left open with his beer bottle.

“Ah, thanks,” I said. I had been a long time since I’d talked to a guy in a bar. Had I ever even been in a bar alone before today?

“I’m Bellamy,” he said, shooting me a dimpled smirk that turned my legs to jelly. It was then that I really took in his soft curls and brown eyes, and his freckles! I would really love to sketch those freckles.

“Clarke,” I told him, extending my hand and feeling sparks fly when he took it.

The rest of the night had been laughing and drinking and stumbling up the many stairs to my place before several rounds of the best sex of my life. We’d cuddled up on the air mattress afterwards, him gently stroking the healing scar that ran from my hip all the way down to my knee, not saying a word about it. When I woke in the morning he’d been gone and I’d been happy. 

Now, six weeks later, I was staring at the time on my phone wondering what the hell I was going to do if this thing came back positive.

0:17

His name had been Bellamy and we’d laughed because he was moving out of town at the same time I was moving in. All we could even be was a one night thing. 

0:12

My father’s face the day I’d decided to switch from pre-med to art with a business minor. So proud of me for finally following my dreams. He would be so disappointed in me today.

0:09

Wells, always having my back. Always being supportive, even when I was an idiot. I wanted him there with me so badly.

0:05

Finn. Oh god, what if he found out and thought it was his?

0:03

My mother. She might actually disown me for this.

0:00

My timer blared and I turned it off with shaking fingers and hesitated over that stupid stick. I’d turned it over so I didn’t stare at it the whole time and now I was terrified to look. Maybe I’d just had the flu? Maybe my period was late because of the stress that came with opening a new business? Until I turned that damn thing over there was still a possibility that everything would be alright. I inched closer and closer to the damn thing and jumped a full three feet back when the doorbell went off, knocking the stick to the bathroom floor.

Right, I’d been expecting a delivery! No pun intended. 

I raced down the stairs and let the guys with my shelving in the back, confirming where they were going to install it again. I hung out downstairs for the next few hours, ordering stock for the store while they worked and double checking everything before they left. When there was absolutely nothing left for me to do I locked up and made my way slowly upstairs, sinking down onto my fuzzy bathmat and grabbing the stick. Somehow I already knew what it was going to say but I turned it over anyway to see a pink plus sign.

Fuck.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia's POV, making friends with Clarke. 
> 
> Next couple of chapters will be Clarke starting her new life in Arkadia, but don't worry! Bellark reunion will happen!
> 
> Oh, and spelling is in Canadian English since that's what I use.

Octavia

A cup of coffee in each hand, I waited for a large van to park so I could J-walk back to the gym. And the van was taking it’s sweet ass time. Annoyed, I looked down the street and saw the new blonde girl leaving the doctor’s office. I’d seen her around a lot lately, she was fixing up Vera’s old shop and always seemed to be in a rush. And she was always alone. Today she seemed more alone than ever, wandering out of the doctor’s office and flopping on the bench outside, oblivious to everything going on around her. I had never seen someone look so lost. But still, she held herself so stiffly, back perfectly straight and knees together, hands folded primly on her lap. No tears spilled down her pale cheeks, though they did fill her sky blue eyes.

The van had finally parked and I was free to move on, but I stood there assessing the girl from across the street, wondering what the right thing to do was. As an outgoing person who tended to wear her heart on her sleeve, my first impulse was to go see if she was okay. But something about the way the stranger held herself made me feel like that might not be welcome. 

As if she sensed me creeping on her, the blonde looked over and caught me staring, shooting me a confused but not unfriendly look. Shrugging, I decided I may as well head over now that I’d been caught staring. Unfortunately, the driver who’d taken so long to park the damn van beat me to it.

“You Clarke Griffin?” he asked. The blonde nodded and stood. “Delivery for you.” 

I crossed the street at the same time as the blonde, Clarke, and she gave me a shy smile before going off to deal with her delivery.

By the time I got back to the gym I’d forgotten all about it, distracted by the pictures Bell had sent of his new office in San Francisco. 

We saw each other once or twice in the coming days but either one or both of us was rushing off somewhere. It wasn’t until I week later that I saw her sitting alone in dinner, staring sadly into a half finished milkshake and playing with the wrapper from her straw. I 

placed my order at the counter then sat down across from Clarke in the booth. She looked up, her blue eyes comically wide as she took in my sudden appearance. 

“Hi, I’m Octavia. But people usually call me O,” I said, extending my hand. Clarke gave me a smile, genuine but small, and shook my hand firmly.

“Hi O, I’m Clarke,” she said.

“So you’re fixing up Vera’s old place?” I asked. Clarke nodded and dropped the wrapper she’d been fiddling with.

“Yeah, I’m opening an art supply store and gallery,” she said, her eyes lighting up when she talked about it.

“Wow, my fiancé will be so excited when I tell him! We own the gym down the street,” I said.

“Trikru, right. It looks really cool inside, not your typical meat head fest. Er, I mean…” she looked away, embarrassed and I had to laugh.

“No, don’t worry about it. That’s what we were going for, just a nice chill place for everyone to workout and go to classes without having to worry about dealing with jerks. So when does your store open?” I asked. A stressed look crossed Clarke’s face I really wanted to wrap her up in a hug.

“Two weeks! It’s so crazy, I didn’t appreciate how much opening a small business took before now,” she said and I laughed.

“Yeah, I get it. The first year after we opened Trikru was crazy and I had my fiancé to help. I couldn’t imagine doing it on my own,” I said and I swear Clarke started to tear up again before forcing a very stiff smile.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I mean it has to be, right?” she said. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Of course it will!” I said. Fox signaled me that my takeout order was ready and I hopped up. “Gotta run, but don’t be a stranger Clarke!”

“Nice to meet you Octavia,” she said, going back to fiddling with her wrapper.

I meant to tell Lincoln about Clarke’s store when I got home, but on the way Bell started texting me about this girl he’d met, Gina, and I forgot all about it by the time I got home.

We were friendly like that for the next couple of weeks leading up to Clarke’s grand opening, running into each other when we were out or meeting up for coffee. I learned a bit about her life in Polis and the culture shock that had come with moving here, but she always seemed kind of distant. Not rude or cold, just like she wasn’t ready to open up to me just yet or maybe ever. It was obvious that something had happened to make her keep her distance so I didn’t take it personally. After all, my life was full of people I loved and more things to do than could be done in a day. I was happy.

The day of her grand opening came around and I showed up in the afternoon with a bottle of wine with a big ribbon on it and gave her a giant hug.

“Thanks so much O,” she said, beaming at me. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening, you know?”

“It’s so beautiful in here!” I said, meaning every word of it. She had transformed Vera’s drab old dress store with wood paneling and spiders older than I was into a shop that was rustic but modern, all whites and teals and natural woods. The merchandise was displayed almost subtly, discrete chalkboard signs telling you where things were without throwing it in your face. The back corner had what looked like a framing area and the till was in front of it, taking up as little room as possible. The room that had housed Vera’s giant changing rooms (and the place I had lost my virginity in high school) had been transformed into a gallery.

“May I?” I asked, gesturing to the gallery. Clarke nodded and led me in. The walls were white and the lighting unobtrusive, letting the art be the focus of the room. The centre of the room was wide open and a few sculptures stood on podiums next to the outside wall with all of the windows. I wandered from piece to piece, barely noticing when Clarke left to greet some customers who had just entered.

I’d been to plenty of art shows with Lincoln but I’d never been in a space so well laid out. Each piece was well lit and complimented the ones next to it. My only issues was that my favourite piece was in the least visible spot on the wall leading into the shop. I was still staring into the swirling reds and yellows when Clarke came back into the gallery.

“You should move this one to a better spot Clarke, it’s so good,” I said, not looking up from the painting to see her blush.

“Thanks O, but that kind of seems like shameless self promotion, doesn’t it?” she asked. I glanced down to the tag to see her name and up to see her red cheeks. Girl could really pull off a blush.

“Huh, I didn’t realize. You’re amazingly talented Clarke,” I said, causing her cheeks to turn an even deeper shade of red. Someone this talented should really be used to accepting compliments.

“Thanks O,” she said, her voice thick.

“What’s up? People have to tell you that all the time,” I said. Clarke looked away and I thought she’d go silent on me and throw her walls up again, but instead she took a deep breath and met my eye.

“Maybe one or two people used to be supportive, but my Mom was pretty against me studying art. She wanted me to go into medicine like her and things between us were pretty rough for a while. We’re better now, I guess, but sometimes when I’m stressed that all comes back and believe me O, today I am stressed!” she said with that smile of hers that was so small but so real. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“Well, I’m happy that you followed through with art and found your way here,” I said. Clarke squeezed my hand back and we stood there staring at her painting until the door chimed, signaling another customer. When I left I finally felt like I’d broken through my new friend’s shell a bit.

The next morning I saw Clarke leaving the doctor’s office while I was picking up coffee again. She flopped to the bench just like she had a couple of weeks earlier, but this time she was hunched over and tears were streaming down her face. I looked both ways and jogged over to sit beside her, placing the coffees on the ground and rubbing her back.

“Just breath Clarke, nice deep breaths. It’s okay, whatever it is, it’ll all be okay,” I told her and kept repeating myself while the normally uptight blonde got herself together. She was trying to say something but because of the near hyperventilation it was hard to make it out, I think she was saying her?

“It’s okay Clarke, take your time,” I said.

“Har… heart… heartbeat. Oh god O, I heard the heartbeat!” she said, then swore a few times.

“Not following you Clarke, what heartbeat?” I asked, continuing to rub her back.

“The… the baby,” she said, fresh tears streaming down her face but the sobs finally stopping.

“Fuck,” I said.

“Yeah. 9 weeks. I knew, I mean of course I knew before today but when I heard the heartbeat it all seemed so real! How can this be happening?” she asked.

“Let’s ah, let’s get back to your place Clarke, we can have a talk there,” I said, noticing the elderly couple across the street giving us the stink eye.

“We both have work,” she said. I hauled her up and led her across the street, forgetting the coffees under the bench.

“You don’t open till 10 and Lincoln will cover for me. We’ve got time,” I told her, taking her keys from her shaking hands and leading her upstairs and getting her settled on the couch.

Her apartment was as flawless as the shop below and bigger than my house, warm wood floors, funky but classic looking furniture, killer art. I had to convince her to become my personal decorator. You know, after the present emotional crisis passed. I grabbed her a glass of water and made her drink half of it before thrusting a box of tissues at her.

“Sorry,” she said.

“For what?” I asked, really not knowing what she was apologizing for.

“Ah, being such a public emotional wreck that you had to ditch work to take care of me,” she said.

“You’re allowed to be human Clarke. And besides, I chose to take care of you, I didn’t have to,” I said with a wink. “So, is the father back in Polis?”

“Ah, no. We actually aren’t in touch,” she said, ducking my eye.

“You don’t want to tell him?” I asked, trying not to sound judgemental. From the soft glare she sent me I guess I failed.

“Believe me, I’d love some help with all of this. But it was just a one night thing, he was moving and we didn’t exchange information. Or last names. Fuck!” she swore, burying her face into a pillow.

“Clarke, it’s okay, these things happen,” I said. “Lots of people have one night stands.”

“Not me! I’m such a control freak about everything, but that night I just needed to shut my brain off so badly. And now look what happened!” she ducked into the pillow and grumbled some.

“Again Clarke, you’re allowed to be human. And so what if the father isn’t around? I didn’t have a dad and I turned out great,” I said, and Clarke mumbled something into the pillow I couldn’t make out. “And it’s really early on, you still have options.” Clarke sat up and looked at me after that.

“I know and I was considering it before, I mean, this is the worst possible time for me to have a baby! But then I heard the heartbeat. My kid’s heartbeat. I can’t…” she looked so shattered at the thought that I cut her off and decided it was time to formally adopt her.

“Fair enough, you’ve made your choice. You’re having a baby! And I’ll be around to help. So tell me, was the one night stand sex at least worth it?” Clarke shrugged her shoulder and nodded before blushing and looking away.

“It was kind of the best night ever, to be honest.”

“Huh, sounds hot. Well who knows, maybe he’ll turn up again to rock your world and co parent your child. In the meantime, you got this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Planning on updating twice a week, Sundays and either Tuesdays or Thursdays depending on, well, life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke making friends and adjusting to her new life in Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three is kind of short so I thought I'd upload it today. Still planning regular update of larger chapters for tomorrow and Tuesday.

The shop had been open for three weeks and was doing well. The community had really responded and I’d sold plenty of supplies and a few pieces (mine included), and even rented out the studio to a few local artists. I planned to start teaching classes, but I was too exhausted. Being pregnant had turned from a terrifying idea to a gauntlet of symptoms that crept up on me at the worst possible times not long after my chat with O. Getting through the day took everything I had and I could not wait for this trimester to be over.

I had a routine now. On Sunday mornings I took O’s prenatal yoga class. Getting up and moving was the last thing I wanted to do, but O was a lot more stubborn than I’d realized and she meant what she’d said about helping me. She had inundated me with facts about the benefits of prenatal yoga until I’d finally relented. So Sunday mornings at 10, my only day to sleep in, I started my day off with prenatal yoga. The shop was closed Sundays so the rest of the day was spent relaxing, running errands and cleaning. Usually I would spend time on the phone with Monty, Mom and Raven but since I’d heard that heartbeat I hadn’t been able to speak to them. Not telling them felt like a lie, but telling them was something I couldn’t wrap my head around yet. So I ducked their calls and texted my excuses.

On Monday and Wednesday evenings I had open studio hours after the store closed and a handful of local artists showed up now and then, but one was constant. Lincoln had been the first person to come into the store and had been like a kid in a candy shop. He was so excited not to have to make the trip to Polis to get his supplies that he had just looked at everything that first day, not buying anything. He came back the next day with a list and I’d mentioned the studio hours and he had been there twice a week ever since, quietly working on his pieces while I worked on mine. I got the impression that the fiancée he was head over heels about tended to be a bit on the loud side which made working at home difficult from time to time. We both enjoyed the same music and respected that working time was quiet time. He didn’t even say a word the many times that my ‘morning’ sickness had kicked in, but after the first night he’d never failed to show up with a ginger ale for me. He was easily my second favorite person in Arkadia. 

On Thursday nights O came over for girl's night after I closed the shop. We made dinner and watched reality tv while she talked about everything that happened during the week. I talked too, not about the big things, but I opened up with her more than I thought I’d be able to again after this summer. It was nice to have someone again, a friend. But also exhausting. Usually by the time she left I was too tired to do anything but lock up after her and collapse into bed.

It’s funny, really, that it took us three weeks to figure it out. The third Wednesday night after I’d opened Lincoln and I were alone upstairs painting quietly while music played softly in the background. He was working on a piece I hoped he’d want to sell at the gallery and I was dealing with my conflicting feelings about my life by swirling and dripping bright, warm watercolours into a crying face. A bit on the nose maybe, but it made me feel better.

We’d been painting for about an hour when the door downstairs banged open and the sound of someone bouncing up the stairs destroyed our peaceful mood.

“Clarke, I have the best idea for your Halloween costume!” Octavia said as she burst into the room, then stopped in her tracks. “Lincoln? What are you doing here?”

“O? You know Clarke? I told you, I’ve been painting on Mondays and Wednesdays,” he said.

“I thought you meant at home?” 

“Where O? Our house is the size of a postage stamp and the garage is full of Bell’s things while he’s away,” said Lincoln patiently. 

“Right,” conceded O, before looking over at me. “You two know each other?”

“Yeah, Lincoln was the first person to come to my shop,” I said. O lit up.

“Of course he was! That’s great, I’m glad you two are getting to know each other. Actually Clarke, I was wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner on Sunday? We usually have family night and I’ve been meaning to ask you, but didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many new people but since you know Lincoln…”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your family time, O,” I said.

“Oh, not actual family night, not since Bell moved. Except Lincoln’s cousins come sometimes. It’s a few close friends and we have potluck dinner and drinks. Not that you have to drink, of course. I think it would be fun and you should get to know more people in town. Plus you should meet everyone before we go out for Halloween anyway,” said Octavia.

“Dinner sounds great, just let me know what to bring. But I’m not sure about Halloween O, I don’t really want to go to a bar,” I said.

“You’re pregnant Clarke, not dead. Come out and live a little! You never have fun. Oh sorry, did Lincoln not know? Shit, sorry,” she said.

“I puke like 5 times a night, I’m pretty sure he knew,” I said and Lincoln nodded, looking fondly at his sputtering fiancée. “And I have fun. I’m fun.”

“Really? When was the last time you had fun?” Octavia asked. I looked down at my still flat stomach and back up at her just in time to watch her turn pink.

“I think I’ve had enough fun to last me for at least the next six and half months or so,” I said dryly. 

“You still deserve to get out from time to time. Leave early if you want, but you are coming out on Halloween. I’ll text you the details about dinner,” she said, and turned to Lincoln. “And you, I can’t believe it took us weeks to figure out we’d both made friends with the same person. I’m calling Fox to see if she wants to work a shift on Friday evenings so we can have date night.”

“Friday night is big tips at the diner, you can’t ask her to give that up,” said Lincoln.

“Okay, I’ll ask around but we’re doing this,” said Octavia, like she was convincing Lincoln to fight a battle, not spend time with the person he loved most in the world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven comes to town for a surprize visit.

Clarke

Munching on some almonds, I readjusted the new sign I’d made to advertise my Monday morning intro acrylics class. I’d barely started the second trimester but I was already feeling better, my energy was back and I was down to puking like once a day. And I couldn’t stop eating, I’d actually considered getting a mini fridge for my office before I realized it was probably hormones talking. Right now I settled for a stash of fruit and nuts behind the till.

I was also starting to show. Just a bit, and only if you looked at my naked stomach from the right angle, but still. 

The door chimed behind me and I turned around, surprised that someone would come in this early on a Monday. It was a kid with a vase full of snow white lilies, my favourite. I signed and thanked him, then took the vase over to the till, wondering who had sent them. My mom maybe? Tearing the envelope open I stared at the small card in shock.

The door chimed again and I barely had time to turn around before I found myself wrapped in a giant hug from Raven.

“Clarke!” she said, sounding so happy to see me. I was instantly filled with guilt about how bad a friend I’d been to her recently. Halfway through the hug she paused and pulled away. Raising one perfect eyebrow at me in her signature ‘don’t fuck with me’ look, she lowered a hand to my belly and felt the small but firm bump there.

Okay, so maybe it was a bit more obvious than I’d thought.

“Fuck,” she said, her eyes round.

“Yeah,” was all I could say, my hormones and fear making my eyes fill up.

“Clarke…” she began but I raised a hand. I didn’t want to lose it in the middle of my store on a workday.

“Let me close up for a few minutes and we can head upstairs, I’m usually dead before lunch on Mondays,” I said, putting up the ‘back in 5’ sign and locking the front door. When I turned around Raven was holding the card that had come with the flowers and giving me a look I didn’t know how to interpret. She was silent the whole way up and I had no idea what she was thinking.

When we got into my apartment she tossed her bag on the floor and I gestured for her to have a seat while I grabbed us both a Perrier from the fridge. I brought our drinks out and sat next to her on the couch and she still hadn’t spoken.

“Please say something, anything,” I said, biting my lower lip.

“I’m just… I’m just so sorry Clarke. But also not sorry, because even if you would have married him he’d still be a cheater. But at least you wouldn’t be doing this alone. And technically I guess he didn’t cheat on you so…”

“Wait, you mean Finn?” I asked and Raven looked up and nodded once, her dark eyes somber. “It’s not his.”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s not Finn’s. Thank god for that, at least,” I said. Raven gave me a hard look I couldn’t quite decipher.

“So you were seeing someone else while you were with him?” she asked. 

“I thought you knew me better than that,” I said.

“I’m trying to, but maybe you could fill in the blanks here Clarke,” she said. I bit my lip and looked away, embarrassed to have to tell this story again and realizing it was far from the last time. “Wait, was it… did someone hurt you?”

“No! No, nothing like that. It’s just… it’s kind of embarrassing. I had a one night stand my first night in town,” I said, looking away.

“So, it’s just a one night stand. People need love Clarke,” she said, her tone lifting all of the guilt and shame I’d been laying on myself since the stick turned pink. She finally released her grip on the card and it fell to the coffee table in a crumpled mess.

“Sure, that’s true. And I thought so too, until I got knocked up by some guy whose last name I never got on the night he was moving away,” I said.

“Fuck,” she said.

“Yeah.” 

“Was it good at least?”

“Why does that seem to be the go to question?” I asked. Raven’s eyes narrowed.

“Who else asked it? I assumed you went radio silent with everyone, was it just me?” she asked.

“No, and I’m sorry about that. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it yet and didn’t want to lie so silence seemed… safe. And I did kind of distance myself from everyone back home. But I’ve made some new friends here and, well, I was so sick at first. I puked like all the time. People kind of figured it out. And I met this girl, Octavia, and she’s been really cool about everything,” I said. My phone buzzed in my back pocket and I pulled it out.

“Speak of the devil,” I said. “O is downstairs, I’ll go let her in. The spare room is the first one on the left. Be right back.”

I went down the two flights of stairs and let O in before locking the door behind me.

“What’s going on Clarke, is everything alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, my friend Raven just showed up and I was telling her about… well, you know. Come up and meet her,” I said. O nodded but stopped when she saw the flowers. The smell of lilies had already filled up the shop.

“Are those from the father?” she asked.

“Hum? Oh, no. Long story, come on up,” I said. Raven was still sitting on the couch, instantly covering up her confused look with a smile when she saw us come in. She introduced herself to O and we all had a seat.

After an awkward moment Raven picked the crumpled card up from the coffee table. “Why is Finn sending you flowers?”

“I have no idea, I’m not sure how he even knew where I was,” I said.

“Who is Finn,” asked Octavia.

“My ex,” Raven and I said at the same moment. Octavia gave us an understandably confused look.

“Like I said, long story. He’s been calling and texting since we broke up and when I blocked his number he’d just get a new one. When I changed my number last month everything stopped and I thought it was okay, but now…”

“That’s kind of creepy,” said O. “You should talk to Miller.”

“Who is Miller,” asked Raven.

“Our friend, he’s a cop,” explained O. Our friend. I’d only been to a few Sunday family night dinners and it already felt like I’d been adopted by Octavia’s group of friends, it was nice.

“Finn is a creep, a liar and possibly a sociopath, but he hasn’t actually done anything illegal. Miller can’t do anything, I’m not going to bother him about it,” I said. Octavia nodded and I almost believed that she’d let it go.

“So Clarke, I don’t know if this is a bad idea now that I know about everything, but Monty and I decided to come and surprise you for Halloween. Obviously the whole getting you drunk so you’d tell us why you’ve been so weird thing is off the table now, but he’s still planning on driving up after work today. Is that cool?” she asked. I don’t think I’d ever heard Raven ask for permission before. Pregnancy had a weird effect on people.

“Of course, I’d be happy to see him too. And I need to tell him everything, it’s time,” I said.

“Great, you guys can tag along with our Halloween plans! You have costumes, right?” asked Octavia.

“Of course!” said Raven. 

“Perfect!”

“It’ll be fun. I should probably open the store back up,” I said. “Rae, you’re welcome to hang out here today or…”

“Or you could come for a run with me, I usually run down main street for a bit then head back along the beach. After we can hit up the diner for lunch, you can meet us there Clarke?” Suggested O.

“A run sounds great,” said Raven, grabbing her bag and popping into the guest room to change.

“And I could eat,” I said, earning a chuckle from O.

Octavia

We took the creepy stalker flowers and tossed them in a dumpster outside so Clarke wouldn’t have to smell them, then started off slow, jogging down mainstreet. I could tell that Raven was distracted but I’d known her for like five minutes and didn’t feel comfortable prying. I picked up the pace when we reached the edge of downtown, pleased that Raven could keep up. Curious, I sped up until we were both running flat out and looked over to meet her grin. It was on! 

Cheating a bit, I ducked out onto a mostly hidden trail that was too narrow for us to run next to each other. I took the long way to the beach, grinning at her frustrated growls as she tried to pass me but couldn’t find room. Eventually we made it to the beach and ran full out, neither of us getting ahead of the other for long. Of course we couldn’t go on forever and we slowed around the same time, then came to a panting walk and stretched out before collapsing onto the sand and staring up at the blue sky.

“That’s better,” said Raven and I nodded, enjoying the high that came after a good run.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s just a lot with Clarke, you know?”

“It is, opening a new business takes all of your time and energy, I can’t imagine doing it while having a baby alone,” I said.

“Yeah, plus everything else that happened this year. She's been through so much, this was supposed to be her fresh start and then she gets knocked up because some fuckboy couldn’t use a condom properly,” said Raven with another small growl.

“What else happened this year?” I asked, Raven looked over, a torn expression on her face.

“She didn’t tell you, did she? Sometimes that girl is too waspy for her own good, I swear…”

“I know it must’ve been rough, at first she was so distant… even now sometimes,” I said.

“Yeah, it was,” Raven sat up and I followed her, meeting her serious expression. “First of all, Griffin hates it when people feel sorry for her. I’m not asking you to lie about me telling you this because frankly she should have, but just don’t throw her a pity party.”

“Got it,” I said, too curious to point out the fact that I knew Clarke well enough not to go down that road.

“Okay. So, long story short, late last spring there was a car crash. Clarke’s dad was driving and some drunk idiot sides swiped them. Her dad and her best friend Wells both died and Clarke barely made it out alive,” said Raven.

“Shit,” I said eloquently. “Wait, Wells as in the Senator’s son? Clarke was in the accident that almost killed Senator Jaha?”

“Yeah, their families go way back. Anyway, her mom didn’t deal too well with any of it and threw herself into work. She was there for Clarke as much as she could be, but she was just shattered. So Clarke spent a lot of her recovery alone. Or with her boyfriend of about a year, Finn.” Raven’s tone changed when she brought up Finn, it was dark and full of bitterness.

“I was away for about a year. Clarke and I knew each other in college but we didn’t hang out much. Even back then she wasn’t the sort to let people in easily and I guess I’m not either. I ended up connecting with some family I didn’t know I had in Argentina and after college I moved there and worked and got to know that side of the family. 

“I had a fiance, but he knew how important it was for me to go. My only family was my mom and she’s a piece of work. So he encouraged me to go and we spoke every day that I was gone, I never suspected… anyway, I got back and decided to surprise him at his place. I even did the whole naked under the trenchcoat thing. Cliche, I know, but it’d been almost a year and I didn’t think either of us would be too picky. But when I got there he already had a girl over. Clarke.”

“No!” I said, shocked. “But…”

“She had no idea. Really, Octavia. Not a clue. And I figured that out pretty quickly. Like I said, I knew Clarke and she wasn’t that kind of girl. We ended up dumping Finn on the same day. I gave him a black eye and drove Clarke home and we just sort of bonded, we went from acquaintances to best friends overnight. I practically lived at her house and helped her set things up to get her store,” said Raven.

“Wow,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s a lot.”

“So Clarke is some sort of upper cruster? And her best friend and dad died on the same day, and she nearly died then too? And her ex, the only one she had to count on, ended up to be a cheating asshole and is now sort of stalking her?”

“Close, she had another close friend Monty. He’s great, you’ll love him. We had organic chem together and he really wanted to blow Finn’s car up, but Clarke wouldn’t let us. Wait, are you a cop? You have to tell me if you’re a cop,” said Raven, and I laughed.

“Just your everyday gym owner, but Miller’s a cop so no bomb threats during Halloween, okay?” I said.

“Anything for Clarke,” said Raven.

“So after all of that and moving to a new town to start a business she decides to have one night of fun and ends up knocked up with no idea how to contact the father? That’s so unfair!” I said.

“Yeah. I hadn’t shown up, if I hadn’t come home Clarke would happy and at home with Finn and her mom, not expecting a kid. I literally ruined my best friend’s life,” said Raven while she looked out across the ocean. I knew she was mostly speaking to herself but bumped her shoulder with mine.

“You know that’s crap right? She loves her shop and she’s happy here, we’re happy to have her. The whole baby thing is less than ideal, but it has to be better than marrying some cheating asshole, right?” I said. 

“I guess,” conceded Raven, her eyes still dark.

“Come on, let’s go eat. Clarke will be waiting,” I said, giving Raven a hand up off the ground. We walked back into town and she stopped in front of Sinclair’s auto shop.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Sinclair’s, he’s a mechanic. Car trouble?”

“No, I mean the for sale sign,” she said.

“Oh, he wants to move to Polis and he just put the sign up. Why, are you a mechanic?” I asked.

“Something like that,” she said, her eyes on the shop as we kept walking past it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted on Tuesday, Halloween!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween! Lexa makes a brief appearance but end goal here is still Bellark.

Clarke

Somehow Octavia had convinced me to host a pre-Halloween party at my place. Well, convinced implies she asked so maybe that’s not the right word. Either way, I was getting snacks ready in my kitchen while Monty and Raven concocted an elaborate drink in my punch bowl. I’d stopped trying to keep track of what they were doing sometime after the third type of booze and just before the dry ice. From the smell of it we’d be lucky to even get everyone out of my apartment and to the bar. 

Monty squeezed my arm he reached above my head to grab the sugar from the cupboard. I beamed at him, so glad he was here and that I’d finally told him about the baby. He, of course, had been nothing but supportive and understanding. Why had I doubted either him or Raven? They’d stuck with me through everything else, of course they were here for me now. Sure, they were dressed as campy super heroes from the 60s, but somehow that made it even better. Raven had gone for Catwoman and her costume was so tight that I’d found myself checking out her ass more than once. Monty was the perfect Robin. They’d brought me a Batman costume but it didn’t fit, I was starting to think I was in denial about how big I was getting. Instead we’d raided my closet and come up with a flowy white dress and I’d thrown together a halo from random sparkle and feathery bits from my studio. A bit unoriginal maybe, but there was hardly a maternity costume store in Arkadia. 

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and I adjusted my halo before going to the open door of my apartment to greet a rather convincing pirate Nyko with a big hug. It had been strange seeing my doctor at O and Lincoln’s that first dinner, but any weirdness had soon passed as I’d gotten to know Lincoln’s cousin. Nyko was so warm and calming that I was happy to have him in my life as well as be his patient. He pulled back from the smell of the punch when Monty offered him a cup and I grabbed him a beer from the fridge with a smile before introducing everyone.

Jasper and Maya showed up next, dressed up like something from anime that everyone else knew and I pretended to. Weirdly, Monty and Jasper knew each other, having grown up next door to each other before Jasper’s family moved away in high school. 

Miller showed up next with a bottle of nice wine he instructed me to keep for after the baby came. Even better was the fact that he’d dressed up as a 1960s Batman, causing a laugh from the rest of us and a blush I hadn’t seen on Monty in far too long. They didn’t spend much time apart for the rest of the night and by the time we got to the bar they stopped denying it was a couple’s costume.

Everyone else showed up in a group, Lincoln and O dressed as a surprisingly attractive zombie bride and groom. They’d brought two more of Lincoln’s cousins, a terrifying woman dressed as a power ranger and a very, very attractive warrior princess or centurion or something. Did I mention how attractive she was? I kept finding myself staring into her green eyes for just a beat too long, then rushing off to pretend to clean while my blush went away. What had happened to my game? I blamed it on excess hormones, but the fact that my ex was a lying creep and my one attempt at casual had resulted in an unplanned… blessing probably had more to do with it. Working out my issues would probably be a good idea.

The power ranger, Anya, took a shine to Raven and between the two of them and punch, they were making out in a corner before we’d even left my house.

I was exhausted by the time we reached the bar but determined to stick it out for at least an hour. I sat with Monty and Miller for a bit since I genuinely enjoyed their company, but left before I became too much of a third wheel. After a couple of drinks Lincoln and O only had eyes for each other, and Nyko was playing darts with someone I didn’t recognize. I made my way to the bar and ordered a ginger ale after making small talk with Harper for a bit.

Lexa, the gothic centurion I couldn’t keep my eyes off of, made her way towards me. Her war paint was thick around her bright green eyes and smudged in a way that really did it for it me. She handed me something and I took it on reflex, gasping slightly when her fingers brushed the pulse point on my wrist. Her eyes darkened at the sound I’d made and she moved even further into my space, her free hand brushing the back of my hip. Leaning in slowly, she whispered in my ear, her breath making me shiver. “You make a convincing angel, Clarke.” I loved the way she said my name, hitting the K extra hard.

“Thanks, Lexa,” I said, taking my turn to lean in and whisper, enjoying watching the goosebumps raise up on her skin. “And I’m digging the whole warrior princess thing.”

It was hard to tell in the dim light of the bar, but I could have sworn she blushed at that. I looked away and finally saw what she’d placed in my hand, some sort of red drink.

“What is this?” I asked. Lexa met my eye again and smirked. The girl could really pull off a smirk.

“They’re calling it the blood of my enemies, but I think it’s just a vodka cran,” she said. 

Vodka. Baby! Had I really just been flirting? Where was my head at? Barely an hour here and I was ready to go home with a dark haired good looking stranger. What was it with this bar?

“Are you alright Clarke?” asked Lexa. Some of my strained thought process must’ve shown on my face.

“Yeah, just. I can’t drink, sorry,” I said, handing the glass back to Lexa and meeting her puzzled expression.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to presume. I just wanted a way to break the ice,” said Lexa, smoothly taking the glass back. I gave her a smile, half filled with our earlier playfulness and half full of regret.

“I’m glad you did. I just…”

“It’s okay Clarke, if you’re not interested…”

“No, that’s not it. Believe me,” I said. “I’m... I’m pregnant.” I swear Lexa took a step back from me like I’d just developed a bad case of BO.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were with someone,” she said.

“I’m not,” I clarified and she took half a step closer again, confusion on her face. “Things in my life are just a bit complicated right now.”

“Well, when they get less complicated you’ll have to let me know,” she said, that smirk back.

“I’m afraid that by the time that happens I’ll have ballooned out or I’ll have a kid,” I said, returning her grin and getting lost in those perfect green eyes of hers.

“That’s not a deal breaker for me, Clarke,” she said, leaning in to whisper in my ear as she hit the K hard again. I was still shivering when she turned and went to join our group back at the table.

I grabbed my ginger ale from Harper with a thank you and turned in time to see Miller leaving with Monty. Monty shot me a quick wink and they were both out the door, no one but me noticing. Back at the table Octavia was sitting half on Lincoln’s lap, talking animatedly about something while he looked at her adoringly. Raven and Anya had moved to a smaller table and were leaned in close to each other, a smiling lighting up Raven’s face for the first time in far too long. 

Jasper was trying to dance with his girlfriend Maya but both of them were laughing too hard to move much. Lexa had taken a seat next to Nyko and the cousins seemed to be catching up, smiles on their faces as they shared a laugh. Murphy, Miller’s partner, and his girlfriend Emori, were hustling a couple of guys at pool in the corner.

I was surrounded by friends new and old but all I felt was an aching sense of loneliness so strong I thought I could choke on it. Well, that and the nausea.

With one last look at my friends enjoying their night I slipped away from the bar and walked back home, alone.

#

My mood had improved by the next morning, and not just because I was sober while everyone else was battling a hangover when we met at the diner for breakfast. Also, I may have mentioned the leftover punch needed to be cleaned up just to watch Monty turn green and Raven dry heave. 

Octavia and Lincoln joined us just after we’d ordered, Octavia looking surprisingly chipper for someone who’d drank at least as much as her much heavier husband who now had his head laying on the table and mutter for us to just kill him from time to time.

O lovingly traced her hand on the back of his neck while sipping her coffee and going over every detail of the night before.

“Oh, I forgot to mention Thanksgiving. I’m having it at my place, you guys should drive up and join us. And Clarke, you’ll finally get to meet my brother Bell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday's update will be Thanksgiving! I know I'm all over the place with my Canadian spelling and use of the later date of US Thanksgiving, but I'm all about that rule breaking, outside the box crazytown kinda life. Forgive the rambling, it is still very early here on the west coast and I wanted to get this up before work to make my self imposed update schedule.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving!

Clarke

I was restocking the high flow acrylics and thinking about seeing Lexa at dinner that night when the door chimed behind me. Peaking my head around the corner I barely stopped from sighing when I saw Stirling, the flower delivery kid who awkwardly stood in my door holding yet another bouquet of lilies. Reminding myself that it wasn’t his fault, I stood up from where I’d been crouched and made my way towards him. Stirling had never asked any questions, but it was obvious he could tell how uncomfortable I was with the flowers that had been arriving once a week since just before Halloween.

The first time had been weird, but I’d been distracted by Raven and Monty’s visit. The second time had been even weirder and now I was creeped out to the point of feeling nauseous when I smelled what used to be my favourite flower.

The phone calls had started about a week ago, just heavy breathing from a blocked number and always to my work line during store hours so I’d have to answer. It was creepy as fuck, but not illegal, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know where to start and it felt like I’d already caused so much drama in the past few months that I didn’t want to bother anyone with a problem that couldn’t be solved. Besides, I’d dealt with worse things than creepy phone calls and flowers. I could just toss the flowers, hang up the phone and move on with my life. I had bigger problems to worry about.

I was holding the card and contemplating just tossing the flowers without reading it when the door chimed again to let me know the last two people I’d expected to see were standing in my shop.

“Mom,” I said, opening my arms to give her a big hug while awkwardly holding the flowers.

“Clarke!” she said, looking so excited to see me that I felt like an ass for being out of touch the last few months. She pulled back and looked me up and down, her gaze stopping at my belly. There was a noticeable bump at this point. She gave me a look to let me know we would be talking about this, then turned back to the man she’d walked in with.

“Thank you for showing me where to go, Marcus,” she said with a polite smile. I rolled my eyes, five minutes in town and she was already on first name basis with the Mayor.

“My pleasure. Happy Thanksgiving ladies,” he said before taking a quick look around and leaving the shop. Before I’d bought the building it had belonged to his mother and sometimes he liked to come in and just look around and chat. I liked his visits, he was surprisingly calming to be around.

My mother took a quick look around to make sure we were alone and then locked her gaze on me. Within seconds I was squirming under the intense focus of her gaze so I turned and dropped the flowers on the till. When I looked back she hadn’t moved so of course I cracked.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you,” I said, looking away.

“Why didn’t you?” she asked. I stammered for a few minutes, how do you tell someone you’re so terrified of them judging your life choices that you’d rather not speak to them for months? I was saved by the sound of Raven and Monty thundering down the stairs from my apartment. 

“Griffin, you about ready to go?” asked Raven before she saw my Mom was there. “Hey Abby.” Abby fixed her with a look and I took a chance to breath while Monty slinked his way towards the front door.

“Not so fast, Green,” she said and he froze where he was standing. “Neither of you thought to tell me? Raven, we had lunch last week and you didn’t say a word! You know how worried I’d been.”

“Not my story to tell,” said Raven with a shrug before meeting my eye.

“She’s right, I should have told you,” I said. My mom nodded, obviously still upset.

“Son of a bitch!” said Raven, noticing the flowers I hadn’t had time to toss. Before I could stop her she tore the card open and was reading it. “Seriously? This is still happening?” she asked me and I shrugged, not wanting to get into it, especially in front of my Mom.

“What is it?” asked Mom.

“Finn,” said Raven, tearing the card up into pieces so small I’d never be able to read the message. What the hell had the note said to make her do that?

“He’s not the Father, is he?” Mom asked. I shook my head while I watched Raven drop the confetti she’d made into the garbage.

“No, at least there’s that,” I said.

“Raven, we should grab our stuff and head to dinner, give these two a chance to catch up,” said Monty. He grabbed my mom’s suitcase and herded Raven upstairs.

“You have plans?” asked Mom.

“Dinner with some friends. Want to stay here, order Chinese food and catch up?” I asked. Mom smiled at me and nodded before wrapping me up in an even bigger hug and we made our way upstairs.

Bellamy

There were a lot of people at dinner. 

Too many people. 

I’d flown across the country to see my sister, not make awkward small talk with a room full of strangers.

Okay, so there were only two strangers and they both seemed fine. Actually, Miller's new boyfriend was pretty great and it had been a long time since I'd seen my best friend so happy, I was just getting cranky. It was already the second day of my visit and I hadn’t had a chance to talk with O about the extension the university had offered me yet. I knew she and Lincoln were feeling the strain without me around to help out at the gym. I was supposed to be a silent investor, but I’d always helped out a couple of nights a week, watching the gym and grading papers while Lincoln and O had some time to themselves. To make matters worse, my stuff was crammed into their garage, the space Lincoln had used as his studio, and now he had nowhere to go when he needed to decompress. It felt like I couldn’t ask them to put up with it for another term. But I also didn’t know if I could pass up the opportunity to teach at such a good school for another term. 

O was always telling me to think of myself for a change and I knew that if I brought it up she’d push me to take it before considering how it would affect her and Lincoln. I needed to actually find out how they were doing before bringing it up, which meant more than five minutes alone with my sister.

One of the strangers was talking, the girl Anya was sort of seeing but being squirrely about calling her a girlfriend. She was apologizing that their friend, some guy named Clarke, couldn’t make it and O seemed upset that we wouldn’t meet. I tried to be polite, but why would I care about some artist guy? I was here to see my sister.

Clarke

I was on my third helping of lemon chicken when it happened. Mom and I had already talked about the baby and while I didn’t say out loud why I hadn’t told her the truth lived in the space between us on the couch. There was so much history between us, so many times I’d disappointed her and pushed her away and now my Dad wasn’t here to make us work it out, it was going to take time for us to figure out how to be a family on our own.

My mouth was full, like actually full with as much chicken as I’d been able to stuff in, when I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. I dropped the spring roll I’d been holding and felt the small bump, struggling to swallow the ridiculous amount of food I’d stuffed in my mouth.

“Clarke, are you okay?” asked Mom. I nodded and finally swallowed.

“I think so, it feels weird but not painful. Maybe I have gas?” I guessed, wondering if that’s what the small fluttering was.

“It’s the baby moving Clarke,” said Mom, tears shining in her eyes as she beamed at me. I was beyond words, it was actually moving inside of me. And my Mom was happy about it. I took her hand and held it while the feeling passed.

“I thought it would be different. Stronger, I guess,” I said. My mom laughed.

“Oh, it will! Don’t worry about that. You kicked so hard in my third trimester that I didn’t sleep through the night once,” she said with a happy smile.

“Sorry,” I said with a shrug, causing another laugh. It was nice to see her happy. It was nice to feel happy. I’d never stop missing my dad or Wells, but it was nice to feel less broken for a minute.

“So Clarke, what’s your plan for when the baby comes?” she asked. 

“I guess hire someone to help out in the store for the first few weeks and then daycare? I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with everything, that’s as far as my plan has gotten,” I admitted. She nodded and looked deep in thought.

“Well I’m here for whatever you need. You know I have vacation time stored up and I’d be happy to come up and stay for the first few weeks,” she said.

“Thank you, that sounds great. But I’m sensing there’s a but after that?” I asked. Mom smiled.

“No but, just something to think about. Your store is beautiful Clarke, I’m so proud of you. I just want you to know that you always have the option of coming home,” she said.

“Just quit?” I asked, my tone a bit more heated than I’d prefer.

“No, just reassess if needed. You have a support system at home, you know the schools and daycares. You won’t have to worry about all of these stairs when you’re 8 months pregnant or trying to carry around a baby and groceries at the same time,” she said.

“If my support system were that great I wouldn’t’ve needed to leave in the first place,” I said without thinking. My mom looked away like I’d hit her, but only nodded.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“No Clarke, you’re right. I wasn’t there for you when you were recovering, I know that now and I’m so sorry. I’d do anything to go back and do it over. I wasn’t prepared for how much your Father’s death would affect me and I handled it poorly,” she said, like she should have actually been prepared for something so awful. What’s worse is that I realized I’d been expecting the same thing of her.

“You did your best, Mom. I could have tried more, too. I could’ve asked for what I needed instead of just leaving. I think what we need to work on is talking to each other more,” I said, knowing that the bulk of our communication issues laid with me.

“Agreed. Minimum weekly phone calls, daily texts and let me know about doctor’s appointments in advance so I can try to schedule time off to make it. Depending on surgeries, of course,” she said.

“Deal. And monthly visits, but you’ll have to come to me until I get a part time employee,” I said.

“Even after, I don’t want you driving halfway down the coast by yourself in winter during your third trimester or with an infant,” she said.

“Deal,” I said and we shook on it before I polished off the lemon chicken. And the spring rolls.

Octavia

It wasn’t our usual night but I went over to Clarke’s on Sunday to catch up on reality tv and binge on the massive amount of leftovers I’d brought. I’d just taken Bell to the airport and was feeling down, something had been off with him but we’d never had a chance to talk about it and now he was gone until Christmas. 

I complained about my overbearing, intrusive, overprotective nerd of a brother all the time, but it was really hard to be away from him and I was counting the days until this term was over.

Lincoln was spending some time alone in the studio downstairs while Clarke and I hung out in her apartment, his patience pushed to the limit after having such a small house full of so many people all weekend. Which was part of the reason I was buttering Clarke up with the last of the pumpkin pie. I squirted a bit more whipped cream onto it and casually asked what her plans were for Christmas. She turned pale and put her food down and I knew I’d screwed up, I hadn’t seen her put food down in about two months.

“It’s our first Christmas without my Dad and Wells,” she said, her voice sounding like that first day she’d told me about the baby, lost.

“Shit, of course. I’m so sorry Clarke,” I said, rubbing her back a bit.

“It’s okay, the holidays are still going to happen, right? Normally we’d have a big party on Christmas Eve and then my parents and I would hang out during the day doing presents and cookies and stuff. Christmas night we always had dinner with the Jaha’s,” she said, her colour coming back a bit.

“Sure, just an intimate family dinner with a senator, no big deal, right?” I said, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

“He was a family friend long before any of that, O,” she said, her voice sounding a bit better, but the pie was untouched so I knew she was still in a dark place.

“This year Mom and Raven are going to come up. We’ll invite Thelonious, but I don’t think he’ll come. We might not bother to cook, maybe we’ll get takeout?” she said.

“In Arkadia on Christmas day? Nowhere will be open, Clarke,” I said and watched her roll her eyes at our backwater ways. “I have a thought? We could do Christmas dinner together?”

“Like you, me, Mom, Raven and Lincoln?” she asked.

“Yeah, and Nyko, Anya and Lexa. And my nerd of a big brother. If everyone pitches in with cooking it won’t be too bad. The rest of the gang usually has dinner with their families and then we all hang out for new years,” I said. Clarke nodded.

“I think that sounds good, much better than sitting around thinking about how much we’ve lost since last Christmas,” said Clarke. I knew I had her when she picked the pie back up. I waited until she’d finished one mouthful before speaking again.

“It’s just too bad about our tiny kitchen, everyone got so cranky trying to get thanksgiving dinner ready.”

“Damnit Octavia, if you want me to host just ask already!” Clarke said before taking a giant bite of pie.

“Clarkey dearest, would you pretty please with a cherry on top host Christmas dinner?” I asked in my sweetest voice, causing the largest eye roll I’d seen her give yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! But I promise Bellamy and Clarke will run into each other next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Raven and Clarke bonding time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two new chapters today! And Bellark reunion like I promised.

Raven

Keys in hand, I took a very deep breath and opened the doors to my new shop. The familiar smell of oil and metal relaxed my shaky nerves as I took the shop and made my way to the office, coming to terms with how much money I’d just spent.

“Raven,” called Clarke from somewhere in the shop behind me.

“Clarke! Be careful, you shouldn’t be…”

“Standing while pregnant?” she asked with a smirk on her face. Okay, she had me there. It was hard not to be overprotective now that she was showing. With a smile on her face brighter than I’d seen in a long time she brought one hand she’d been holding out from behind her back and showed me a bottle of champagne. Nice champagne. Impressed I reached a hand out to take it and she snatched it out of my reach with a playful smirk.

“Not here Raven, let’s go upstairs!” she said.

“Upstairs?”

“Your apartment. You did at least look at the apartment, didn’t you?” she asked and I tried to remember while she led the way up the staircase. I couldn’t recall anything about the apartment, what had I gotten myself into? “Don’t worry Raven, I came over and had a look after you spent half an hour describing the car lift but couldn’t remember if the heat was gas or electric.”

“You did?”

“Of course! I knew you wouldn’t want to live in a dump,” she said as we reached the landing. It was nice, if a little bland. Open concept living and dining area with the focal point being the far wall. It had floor to ceiling windows that looked out across the ocean and opened into a large patio.

“Wow,” I said, taking in the view. Clarke tried to cover up a small laugh but failed, then led me out to the patio. Sinclair had left his patio furniture behind and Clarke led me there before popping the champagne and pouring some into the flute she’d been carrying around in her other hand.

“A toast…” she started.

“It’s not really a toast if you don’t have a drink,” I pointed out. Clarke rolled her eyes at me but fished around in her bag until she pulled out a bottle of water.

“Better? Good. So here’s to you having the courage to invest in yourself and your dreams. Congratulations Raven, I’m so happy for you!” she said. Pregnancy was making her sappy. Of course, I didn’t have any excuse for why I was tearing up at her words so I just pulled her in for a hug and hoped she hadn’t seen.

“So what’s your plan?” I asked. Clarke sat on one of the loungers and put her feet up.

“What plan?”

“I assume if you made Sinclair show you around up here you came up with a plan for how to decorate it?” I asked.

“Check your phone. I sent you an invite to my secret pinterest board…”

“Huh, is that for your porn or something?””

“You wish! It’s the ideas I’ve come up with over the past couple months for this place. I’m thinking concrete countertops and stainless steel appliances…”

“Cool your jets Rockefeller! The money from my mom’s estate barely covered the cost of this place, let alone…”

“I know, that’s why I also had some cheaper options on there. We at least have to paint, this weird terracotta brown is tragic. And you need furniture. Like indoor furniture,” she said.

“Yeah, soon enough,” I hedged.

“Well, for the first couple of months you can stay in my spare room,” she offered. I looked over, trying to tell if she was serious or not. 

“I wouldn't offer if I didn’t mean it, Reyes,” she said, still looking out over the ocean. “And I know a great flea market we can check out on Sunday. If we take our time and you don’t mind working at it, you should be able to furnish this place cheaply. I’ll have to coach you through some of it since I can’t be around the fumes, but you can handle it,” she said. 

“I don’t know where I’d be without you Clarke,” I said quietly.

“Married to Finn, probably,” she said and we burst out laughing, catching the last of the weak winter sun rays while taking in the waves from my new balcony.

It was a good day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas! And Bellamy and Clarke meet again

Clarke

Octavia was late.

Two hours late.

To the Christmas dinner she forced me to host.

And my belly button had popped out that morning. Okay, so it’s not like I saw it pop out or anything, but I noticed it when I was getting dressed and freaked out and screamed. Mom and Raven had burst into my room when I was half naked, then almost peed from laughing too hard at my reaction. When they’d finally calmed down (and let me put a shirt on), my mom had reassured me that it was normal and Raven had said I was the most bangable pregnant woman she’d ever seen, but I just felt gross and out of control of my own body. And I was missing Dad and Wells and doubting I’d ever be able to raise this child on my own.

I’d tried putting on a brave face while I ate Raven’s burnt pancakes and settled in with a cup of fancy cocoa to open presents. Mom and Raven spoiled me with things for the baby, they’d coordinated and got a beautiful set of baby furniture and even built and set it up in the spare room with the murphy bed last night. I cried a bit when I stroked the white crib, changing table and dresser, then a bit more when I sat down on the rocking chair and imagined holding my baby there. Raven mumbled something about hormones and left the room, but mom stayed and held my hand until I’d composed myself. 

I got Mom a cashmere sweater a bottle of her favourite perfume, the gift my father had always given her. She teared up and squeezed my hand when she opened her gifts, but held it together. Then I handed her another package and watched the smile light up her face as she unwrapped the canvas. I’d done an abstract in shades of blue watercolour of my latest ultrasound where the baby’s profile was pretty visible.

“I love it Clarke,” she said and wrapped me in a big hug.

Raven gave my mom a sex toy with a wink and I and left the room, coming back in with cookies while Raven opened the dress my mom had picked out for her, in case she ever felt like dressing like a girl.

I did not get their relationship.

I got Raven a set of silverware and serving utensils where the handles were different tools in honour of her new garage and she cracked up before giving me a hug. Then we sat eating our cookies and watching the fireplace on tv.

“Wait, there’s one more,” said Raven, squirming to get under the tree.

“There’s a lot more, there for everyone else,” I said and Raven shook her head and handed me the box that had obviously come through the mail and had my name on it.

“Thelonious?” I guessed.

“No, he sent the champagne and coca,” said mom, raising her champagne flute.

“It was outside the door yesterday, I brought it up and put it under the tree. Open it already!” said Raven. So I pulled off the tape and opened the small box. There was a card on top of several layers of tissue paper. I opened it and my blood ran cold.

Clarke,  
We belong together.  
Soon you’ll see it too, I promise.  
Always yours,  
Finn

Dropping the card I pulled at the tissue paper revealing pictures of us, dozens of pictures. Probably every picture we’d ever taken while we were together. Freaked out, I pushed the box off my lap and watched the pictures scatter across the floor.

“What the actual fuck?” swore Raven, grabbing the card off the floor and reading it before passing it to my mom.

“Clarke, this is getting out of hand,” she said.

“You think?” I asked, crouching to scoop the pictures and card back into the box before slamming the lid on and kicking it under the couch.

“Griffin, you can’t just hide this problem under the couch,” said Raven gently.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Tell Miller, today,” said Raven.

“But it’s creepy, not illegal,” I said. Raven rolled her eyes and swore a few times.

“Let’s check with your friend Miller and see, he knows what your options are more than you do. And I’ll send my lawyer an email and see what she says,” said my Mom, whipping out her phone.

“Mom, stop! She’ll charge you triple if she answers that today. Email her first thing Monday and we’ll talk to Miller tonight after dinner. Maybe Lexa will have some advice,” I wondered aloud.

“Lexa?” asked Mom, eyebrow raised. I blushed slightly. 

“She’s a friend,” I said. “A lawyer.”

“A lawyer you have the hots for!” added Raven.

“Sure, but my life’s a bit complicated right now,” I said, gesturing to my stomach. I did not want Lexa seeing me naked right now, especially since the whole belly button thing.

“Fair enough. But you should know that pretty soon certain hormones might change your mind,” my mom said.

“Meaning?” I asked. My mom smirked and handed me the bag with Raven’s present to her in it.

“Meaning you’ll need this more than I will. Now I think we should probably get that turkey in the oven,” she said, but I could barely hear the last part over Raven’s cackling. 

The next couple of hours were spent getting ready for dinner and me laughing while they got a bit tipsy and started singing Christmas carols off key while I did the bulk of the prep work. I was thrilled when Monty showed up two hours early with Miller in tow. They’d spent the morning together since Monty’s parents had gone on a cruise this year and Miller’s had passed away. Monty figured I’d need the help cooking since Mom and Raven were useless in the kitchen pretty soon we were pretty much as prepped as we could be until it was time to start cooking side dishes.

I flopped onto my cushy chair and put my feet up, alarmed to see that I was also at the swollen ankles stage of pregnancy.

“What’s that look for?” asked Monty, sitting down next to me with a glass of champagne. How much had Thelonious sent?

“I’m so gross! Look at my ankles.” He looked down and shot me an unimpressed look. “And my belly button popped out this morning. I have an outty now.”

“Can I see?” he asked. I rolled my eyes, but only a monster could resist Monty’s puppydog eyes, so of course I showed him. Before long they were all cooing over my belly and felt a smile break out on my grumpy face. Maybe I had been overreacting.

“Okay, presents time!” declared Monty. He and Miller got me bedding for the new crib in a beautiful, delicate teal colour. I stroked the tiny pillow and felt my eyes watering up again and Raven snorted a left the room, mumbling about missing her badass best friend. I pulled it together and thanked them before handing MIller a piece from a local artist I’d purchased about a month ago that would go perfectly in his living room. Then I handed Monty a business card with a date and time on the back.

“What is this Clarke?” he asked.

“It’s your interview, I got them to schedule it for when you’d be down for the holiday,” I said. Monty raised an eyebrow.

“What interview?” I asked.

“The high school needs a new chemistry teacher for next fall,” I said.

“Wait, how’d you know about this? I’ve been checking postings every day,” said Monty, his eyes lighting up.

“I sell the art teacher her supplies, no biggie,” I said.

“Cut the crap Clarke, what did you have to do to set this up?” asked Monty.

“Fine! I just have to host a student art show in my gallery. For the next two years. And give a few demos to the more advanced students, but that part sounds pretty fun,” I said. Monty pulled me into a hug and Miller beamed at me. 

“Don’t get too excited, you’re both helping me at the student art shows,” I said with a laugh.

After that people started trickling in alone or in pairs bring food and presents. Someone had coordinated almost everyone and my presents were mostly for the nursery, setting me up pretty well. Even Anya brought a blanket that she’d knit herself, her expression ordering me not to question it.

Lexa walked over while I was still holding the blanket. She looked great, really great, in her tights and black sweater dress with her hair long and loose and makeup barely there. Noticing me checking her out she blushed and I remembered what my mom had said about horny hormones.

“You look great, Clarke,” she said, still hitting the K in my name in just the right way while looking me up and down. “Pregnancy agrees with you.”

“Thanks Lexa, you’re looking pretty good yourself. Can I get you a drink?” I asked. She nodded and I poured her some champagne before meeting those smoldering green eyes again.

“Thank you. There’s… there is something I need to tell you,” she said, looking away.

“It’s alright Lexa, go on,” I said, a bit worried.

“I’ve started seeing someone,” she told me. Oh. Of course she was.

“You’re a great catch Lexa, I’m not surprised,” I told her.

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to think I was leading you on,” she said.

“You didn’t. Lexa, I’m the complication here, not you. If I wasn’t such a disaster…”

“Clarke, you are anything but a disaster,” she interrupted me a bit forcefully. 

“Well, regardless, I’m glad you’re happy and I still want us to be friends,” I told her honestly.

“I’d like that, Clarke,” she said.

“That’s good, because I need to ask about this blanket. Did Anya really knit it herself?” I asked.

Marcus showed up, vacillating between looking at the changes I’d made to his mom’s old place and giving my mom heart eyes. She seemed flattered and I think kind of into him too, but confused about it. She’d been with my Dad most of her life, it would probably take her a while to move on. Marcus seemed to be settling in for a long wait though, so I’d have to start getting used to the idea.

Pretty soon the sides were going in and the turkey was pulled out, and where the hell was Octavia? 

How could she be two hours late to her own damned dinner?

I decided to tackle the potatoes and was mashing and humming along to some old Christmas song when I sensed someone watching me. I looked up and he was there, just standing in my kitchen holding a bag of food like he hadn’t gotten me pregnant the last time I saw him. No warning, not even a sound to let me know he was there. One minute empty space and the next the missing father of my child was standing in my goddamned kitchen looking just as good as that night in the bar. Seriously, who had eyes like that? 

I dropped the potato masher I’d been misusing and grabbed my belly in surprise. His expression turned from a cocky smirk when he recognized me to horror tinged with disbelief when he saw my bump.

“Is that.. Am I… did I?” he asked, his arm flailing in the general direction of my midsection. I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“But…” I kept quiet, giving him a minute to process. It was a lot to take in. 

Then the yelling started.

The next thing I knew I was kicking him out of my house, still not knowing his last name or fucking phone number. Fuck! I smashed something on the floor then kicked my oven, then hopped around on one foot waiting for the pain to go away. Eventually I remembered there was a room full of people on the other side of a very thin wall and I ran to my room and slumped onto the floor.

What the hell just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday's update will be all Bellamy and Clarke, I promise.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! The fight and the making up (sort of?). They've got some things to work out, but end goal here is still Bellark!

Octavia

We were late. 

We were late to the Christmas dinner I’d forced my pregnant friend to host and promised to help get her ready for. 

And it was all Bell’s fault. Who needs to spend that long on their hair anyway? I snapped at him when I caught him checking out his own reflection in a window and he picked up the pace, finally paying attention to where we were going. We’d decided to walk since we planned on having wine with dinner but the bags we carried were already feeling heavy. Poor Lincoln was stuck carrying all of the presents. We’d gone the back way since it was closer and Bell looked confused when we got to the side of Clarke’s building and made our way up the stairs.

How the hell was she doing this many stairs while pregnant? I needed to start helping her with groceries.

“I think I’ve been here before,” said Bell, but I was focusing on not dropping the bag of wine bottles I was carrying and didn’t really pay attention. The door was open so we walked right in and of course we were the last ones to show up. I sent Bell into the kitchen with the perishables and unpacked the wine and snacks from my bags. I didn’t notice he’d been gone for a while at first, I was too busy greeting everyone and pouring wine. Then the screaming started.

“How could you do this?” yelled Bell. Surprised, I looked around room and realized he was in the kitchen. The only one missing was Clarke.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Clarke yelled back. Had she messed up the potatoes? Bell got weird about potatoes.

“That! You didn’t even tell me! If you think you can keep my baby from me you’ve got another thing coming, princess,” he yelled. I dropped the wine, the bottle smashed to the floor and shattered but I didn’t even notice.

Bell was the father? The mysterious out of towner who was great in the… eww! I knew way too much about my brother’s sex life. 

“Tell you? How the fuck was I supposed to tell you when you snuck out of here while I was still asleep? It’s not like you left me your number, or even your last name, you asshole! Don’t you dare come in here and start in on me about…”

“Oh, I’m sorry princess, is the does the snobby version of a one night stand include an embroidered thank you note with my resume and social insurance number…”

“I’ve had about enough of the whole princess thi…”

“If the glass slipper fits, your highness,”

“Fuck you Bellamy.”

“You already did, that’s what got us in this mess!”

“Mess? This mess is our unborn child and if this is how you’re going to act about it maybe you should just leave. It’s what you’re good at.”

“So I’m supposed to be immediately okay with the fact that someone I barely know is about to have my baby? I can’t have five minutes to adjust to the idea? Like you were perfect when you found out…”

“I didn’t have the option of taking off and leaving someone else to deal with the consequences of my actions!”

“If you’d just told me about it I would’ve…”

“Right, if I’d magically guessed your full name and contact information…”

“And we’re back to this! Princess, you didn’t want my information!”

“No, I wanted five fucking minutes where my brain wasn’t reliving every horrible thing that’s ever happened to me and look where it got me!” the sound of something crashing to the floor pulled me out of the horrified trance I’d been in and I made my way to the kitchen.

“What’s wrong princess, tiara too tight? They didn’t have white pony you wanted and you had to settle for a brown one?” 

Fuck! No, Bell...

“You don’t know me, Bellamy, and I’m done having this conversation. Get the fuck out of my house,” Clarke said the last part in a low voice that frankly scared the crap out of me.

“Whatever the hell you want, your worship,” Bell said and the door to the kitchen slammed open and he was out apartment before it closed again. Clarke smashed something else in the kitchen, then I think she kicked it before she stormed out and into her bedroom.

It was awkward in the living room. Real awkward. Abby was the first to snap out of it and she started giving orders, calming asking us to do things that we all recognized weren’t requests but were happy to follow. 

“Octavia, watch your feet on the glass. Maybe you should go after your brother? Lincoln, perhaps you can clean up the glass? Miller, Monty, would you mind checking the kitchen? I’ll help clean up the mess, maybe just make sure she didn’t leave any burners on or anything. Raven, come with me to check on Clarke. I think the rest of you might be better off with a glass of wine?”

I grabbed my jacket and started down the stairs and took off after Bellamy, trying his phone. I walked around for about half an hour, calling the whole time and checking every spot I could think he’d go to for comfort. Of course, he would have known I’d be the one looking for him so he’d probably go somewhere I’d never think to look.

Eventually I was freezing and my battery was dying so I made my way back to Clarke’s.

Clarke

What the hell just happened?

How was he in my house after all this time? And how did things get so out out hand? I mean, it was never going to be a pleasant conversation, but this was ridiculous. Even when we’d been arguing I’d known we needed to stop, but it was like I couldn’t control my own mouth. And now, once again, I had no way of contacting him. My baby having a father was the important thing here, not my ego. How had I fucked up so badly?

A knock on the door startled me and I wiped the tears off my face just before Mom and Raven came in. They looked at me like I was a wild animal about to strike for a couple of minutes before sitting down on either side of me.

“So that’s the father, huh? He’s hot, in an angry professor sort of way,” said Raven. I snorted and she chuckled.

“This is hardly the time for jokes, girls,” said my Mom. I looked over and saw she had her plotting face on.

“So general Abby, what’s the war plan?” asked Raven.

“I’m concerned about the way he treated you Clarke,” she said.

“Me too, but he’d just had a shock…”

“You can’t make excuses for his behaviour like that Clarke,” Mom said.

“I’m not, but I’m hardly blameless. We’ll need to learn how to work together for the good of the baby, right?” I said.

“You want him involved in your child’s life?” Mom seemed surprised.

“I mean, he’s the father…”

“And he just walked out on you, again,” said Raven. I couldn’t argue with that.

“What are you suggesting?” I asked. “It’s not like I can change the fact that he’s the father.”

“Well, I think I should get my lawyer on the phone and see what our option are,” said Mom.

“Seriously, can this family go one holiday without lawyering up?” Raven mumbled under her breath.

“It’s Christmas day Mom,” I protested. “And I don’t want to just cut him out…”

“I’m not suggesting that Clarke, I just want you to be protected,” she said.

“From what?”

“What if he tries to get sole custody? Or doesn’t want to help out with child support?” said Raven.

“I don’t want his money, I have everything under control,” I said.

“You wouldn’t even buy proper maternity clothes Clarke,” said Monty as he entered the room, closing the door behind him and setting the glass of water he’d brought on the bedside table. “Let’s get you up off the floor.” I let Monty pull me up and drank half the glass of water before continuing. 

“I wasn’t big enough for maternity clothes yet. Besides, university costs more every year. If I put the money aside now and let it gain interest…”

“Clarke, you split the seam on a pair of tights. Tights!” said Raven. I blushed at the memory, it hadn’t been my finest day.

“Well, you have proper clothes now. And I’m always there to help out financially or otherwise. The matter of custody was my main concern,” said Mom. Before I could object another knock sounded on the door and Lexa walked in. 

“I’m sorry for intruding but I couldn’t help overhear,” she said, a kind smile on her face. I felt myself blush so hard I must’ve turned purple, I don’t know if I’ve ever been so embarrassed.

“I just thought I’d mention the fact that you can come up with a co-parenting agreement that would make sure all parties are protected,” she said. She was so hot when she used lawyer speak.

“That’s helpful, but this young man hardly seems like the type of person to agree to something like this. All I know about him is how disrespectfully he’s treated my daughter. What does he do for a living? Where has he been these last five months?” asked my mom. The door to my room slid open once again and Octavia entered, her hair windblown and cheeks red from the cold.

“He’s my brother, Bellamy. And he’s a history professor who spent last semester working across the country. I’m sorry, I should have realized somehow…” she said, frustration on her face and tears welling up in her bright green eyes. Her brother? That was a surprise. They didn’t look anything alike. But then again, they were both wildly stubborn and unafraid to speak their minds.

“O, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out,” I said. She sat beside me on the bed and squeezed my hand.

“And thank you both for the advice, but let’s try giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. This whole thing was shock and we both acted badly, but I think we can figure out how to move forward on our own.” 

I mean, we had to. Right?

Bellamy

I was being a moron. I’d realized that as soon as my temper had worn off, but my pride kept me walking for some time after that, replaying the words the princess had said over and over again. Me leaving her to deal with the consequences of our actions, that one hurt. Mostly because it was true. I’d been off dating Gina and teaching at my dream university while she’d been struggling with this all by herself and instead of helping when I found out I’d yelled at her and then took off, just like she’d predicted when she’d said ‘You should just leave, it’s what you’re good at.’

She had no way to know that would hit a nerve, she didn’t know about my dad walking out. That was no excuse for me yelling at her like I had, obviously hitting a nerve of my own when she threw me out. The idea of me being anything like my own deadbeat father had me turned around pretty quickly, even though I was unsure of my welcome and had no idea how to make things right. 

I still had to try though. 

When I got to the top of the stairs and entered the apartment everyone stopped talking so it was pretty obvious I’d been the topic of conversation. Somehow resisting rolling my eyes, I politely asked where Clarke was.

“I’m not sure now’s a good time Bell,” said Lincoln, an edge to his voice I’d never heard before.

“Look, I handled things poorly earlier. I need to make it right,” I said. Lincoln nodded but his eyes were still hard. 

He walked down the hall and knocked lightly on the last door before opening it and speaking in a low tone. A couple minutes passed before Lincoln looked at me and nodded. I made my way down the hall as people started leaving the room. The first to pass me was Lexa and I swear she almost growled while glaring at me. Lincoln and Octavia came next, Octavia poking me hard in the chest while demanding I fix this. After them came Anya’s girlfriend, twirling a screwdriver between her fingers and looking me up and down like she was planning how to kill me and hide the body. Then came Miller’s boyfriend Monty, who stopped me with a firm hand on my chest and a hard glint in his eye.

“You will watch your tone while speaking with the mother of your unborn child in the future, is that understood?” he asked. I nodded and he let me pass.

The last to leave was a striking woman who I guessed was Clarke’s mother. She was calm and collected and looked at me like she could destroy my life with the same amount of effort it took me to tie my shoes and I had no doubt that she’d do so if she felt like she needed to to protect her daughter.

“This door stays open,” she commanded and I nodded, finally getting in to see Clarke.

The room looked a lot better with furniture, but I didn’t have time to notice much more than the fact that there was more than an air mattress on the ground now before I looked into Clark's eyes and my heart stopped a bit. She’d obviously been crying, her beautiful blue eyes were rimmed red and there were red blotches on her pale face and neck, but her spine was straight and her expression was cold, almost daring me to say something about it.

I felt a crazy surge of affection just then at her show of defiance and quickly shoved it down, things were complicated enough right now and it had taken me months to stop thinking about the blonde whirlwind I’d only know for one day. I couldn’t do this again.

“Can I sit?” I asked, gesturing to the bed beside her. She nodded stiffly and I sat, turning so I looked at her and feeling about three inches tall. She’d obviously already been having a hard time, pregnant and alone in a new town, starting a new business and having no way of tracking down the father. Then we’d somehow finally found each other again only to have me unload on her.

“Look, I’m sorry for how I handled things Clarke. My reaction was inappropriate and being surprised is no excuse for yelling at you like that,” I said. She nodded stiffly, but did turn so she met my eye.

“I’m sorry too. I realize that it’s a lot to take in,” she offered and I smiled. She didn’t return it, but her eyes softened just a bit.

“I want you to know that I’m here for you and I’ll be here for the baby,” I said. Clarke nodded but the cold edge returned to her eye and I realized that getting her to trust me might be next to impossible. “Really, I mean it. I’ll wrap things up in San Francisco and get my transfer organized for the university outside town.”

“Bellamy, I’d never ask you to leave your job,” she said.

“You aren’t. It was only ever supposed to be for one term and I was on the fence about the extension. Once I explain that I’ve had a change in personal circumstance I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” I said, hoping it was true.

“Well if it doesn’t work out it’s not like, I’d never freeze you out of your baby’s life, Bellamy,” she said, her voice horrified as she threw my earlier words back at me.

“I already apologize for that,” I said, then took a deep breath. “If there’s a problem with the transfer I’ll let you know, but it should be fine.”

“Good,” said Clarke, her posture defensive again after my near outburst. 

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?” I asked, hoping to get us back to a more peaceful place. 

“No, it was turned funny last time and we couldn’t tell. Nyko thinks we’ll have better luck next time though. The.. the appointment is coming up, you can come if you’d like?” she offered and I immediately took the olive branch.

“Absolutely!” I said.

“Hearing the heartbeat is really something,” she said with a smile. “The ultrasound is cool too, but I love hearing the heartbeat.”

“I can’t wait. When is the appointment?” I asked.

“January third at 9am,” she said.

“My flight is on the second. Dammit!” I swore, she flinched beside me.

“Why are you getting angry at me? I didn’t book your flight,” she said, her voice raised.

“I’m not.. I’m angry that I can’t be there for the first thing I’ve ever needed to do for my kid! Can we change the appointment?” I asked, trying (and failing) to keep the edge out of my voice.

“The appointments are based on how far along you are, I can’t just change it!” she said. Okay, yelled. We were back at yelling but I was too mad to realize we shouldn’t be.

“It’s one day Princess, surely even your uterus isn’t so precious that it can’t adjust one damn day!”

“This isn’t a me thing Bellamy, and I told you to cut the princess thing out!”

“Sure, right after you change the…”

“Change the way western medicine is practiced? Cause that’s what you’re asking me to do Bellamy!”

“It’s 24 hours princess, I’m not asking you end the over prescription of antibiotics here…”

#

In the next room the pretense of casual conversation had stopped any everyone was listening to the couple go at it again. At least they both stayed this time.

“How the hell did those two manage to get along long enough to make a baby?” asked Raven.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve and some Clarke and Bellamy snuggles.

Clarke

Okay, so it was only mildly depressing to be ringing in the New Year alone drinking sparkling water out of a champagne flute in a vain attempt to improve my mood. Like 4/10 on the pathetic scale at most. Right?

Everyone else had gotten dressed up and gone to a club downtown. My ticket was laying next to the dress I was planning on stuffing myself into, but I’d changed my mind at the last minute. The thought of hanging out with all of my couple friends, watching them kiss at midnight while I stood they on my own and awkwardly waited for them to be done was not pleasant. And Lexa’s new girlfriend was going, so that would be awkward for all of us.

And Bellamy. We’d seen each other a couple of times since Christmas and it has gone well. Or well enough. You know, for the most part. 

He drove me nuts, to be honest. Half the time I actually wanted to strangle him. But at the same time, thinking of watching him kiss some girl at midnight had just been too much for me to deal with. So I’d played the pregnancy card and cancelled with a mass text, then turned my phone off so I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone who’d never been single and pregnant on New Year’s Eve trying to convince me how much fun it would be to go out.

I was searching for snacks when the doorbell rang, letting me know someone was downstairs. Who would be here this time of night. Oh, wait, it was only 8pm. Still, didn’t everyone have better things to do tonight?

I made my way down the stairs and peaked through the peephole, not quite believing my eyes. I straightened my messy bun a bit a pulled down my shorts, covering my scar as much as I could. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Bellamy shot me a huge grin from behind his large black glasses and if he noticed me checking out his Pikachu t-shirt and sweatpants he didn’t say anything, just kept standing there with a cocky smirk on his face. We made eye contact for a little too long, those stupid glasses and his soft curly hair doing things to my insides I wasn’t ready to think about.

 

Bellamy

 

Clarke answered the door in an oversize college sweatshirt and a pair of tiny paint stained shorts that left her legs visible right up till the big woolen socks she had on. Her legs. I tried really hard not to stare but it was impossible not to, who had legs like that? I hadn't forgotten them, of course, but I was learning that my memory had not done them justice.

Realizing I was creeping on her, I forced my eyes back to her face just in time to realize that her own eyes had been wandering down me a bit. She snapped her gaze up to meet mine and when I saw the faint blush on her cheeks I couldn’t help but smirk. Guess she was into Pokemon?

“Hey Princess,” I said.

“Bellamy. Aren’t you going out with the group tonight?” she asked. I raised my hands and showed her the ridiculous amount of takeout I’d picked up.

“If you’re staying in I’m staying in,” I said, hoping for it to be the same kind of olive branch she’d offered me by finally moving the damn doctor’s appointment. Judging by how her face fell I’d missed the mark.

“I don’t want to keep you from having a life, Bellamy. If you want to go out then you should. Just leave the Chinese food, I think I smell lemon chicken.”

“How do you smell that thought the containers and the plastic?” I asked, impressed.

“Pregnancy superpowers,” she answered with a shrug.

“Well, half that lemon chicken is mine so you’d better let me in. Besides, I’d honestly rather hang out with you tonight. It’s way more fun to give you a hard time than to watch all of my coupled up friends, and younger married sister, make out at midnight,” I said. Clarke nodded at that and stepped aside to let me in.

“Fine, but I get more than half the lemon chicken. It’s the baby’s favorite!” she said. I chuckled and made my way upstairs, putting the food on the coffee table while she went to grab plates.

“What’s this?” I asked, picking up the champagne flute. Clarke peaked her head out of the kitchen and shot me a sassy grin.

“You know, in Europe they say it’s perfectly fine to have the occasional drink when you’re pregnant,” she said. Something about her tone let me know she was having me on so I sipped the drink.

“Sparkling water?” I asked.

“Of course, Bellamy. I’m pregnant,” she said, shooting me a meaningful look while she brought the dishes out.

“Sorry… I’m still adjusting. I honestly do try to give you the benefit of the doubt you know,” I said. She smiled to herself but didn’t disagree with me, then started unpacking the food.

“There’s drinks in the fridge, help yourself to whatever,” she said before stuffing a spring roll in her mouth, eyes rolling back in her head with pleasure and moan escaping her lips. I swallowed and went into the kitchen, sticking in head in the fridge for a bit longer than necessary before pulling out a can of sparkling water.

“There’s beer leftover from Christmas,” she said, joining me in the kitchen. “And wine.”

“This is cool,” I said, almost believing it. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“If you want a beer, have a beer. I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, but it doesn’t bother me. If i’m going to get upset about missing out on something it’ll be soft cheeses, or pants with an actual waist instead of stretchy elastic,” she said and I believed her. We might fight from time to time but we didn’t play games. So I grabbed one of Monty’s fancy beers and sat next to Clarke, watching in amazement as she heaped her plate full of food. I waited until she’d helped herself to make my plate, careful to avoid the lemon chicken. 

“So you were going to watch the countdown all night?” I asked.

“More like background noise. I couldn’t decide if I was going to watch birthing videos on YouTube or read Harry Potter fanfic,” she confessed with an adorably sheepish smile that had my heart soaring.

“Nice! Wait, what? They have that on YouTube?” I asked.

“Yeah. Honestly, don’t look it up. There are somethings you can’t unsee,” she said with a shudder.

“But I want to be there when you have our baby Clarke,” I said seriously. She put her fork down so I’d know she was serious too and met my eye.

“And I want you there, it’s our baby. I just want you stay above the knee,” she said.

“Clarke…”

“You know what Bell, just watch the videos and then decide, okay?” Bell. She’d never used my nickname before and it made my insides warm to hear it.

“Want to watch a movie?” I asked. Clarke nodded and pulled up her Netflix and we bickered a bit before deciding on some movie about a creepy Santa with super powers who fought the forces of darkness while still delivering toys. It was every bit as terrible as we’d hoped it would be. Eventually we stopped eating and put our plates on the coffee table. Clarke also propped her feet up but kept fiddling with the edge of her shorts, trying to pull them down to cover her scar. I reached over and stilled her hands after a while.

“I’ve already seen it, remember?” I said and she looked away, but wrapped her fingers around mine almost unconsciously.

“I remember,” she said, shooting me smile before looking away again. I thought she’d stop there but was pleased when she didn’t. “It’s still kind of new. I wasn’t used to it when this happened,” she gestured to her stomach. “It’s been like nine months since I felt comfortable in my own skin, and it’s just going to get weirder.” I squeezed her hand and rubbed my thumb up and down the back of her hand reassuringly.

“I wish I could say I got where you were coming from, but have you seen this?” I asked, gesturing to myself in all my messy, Pokemon covered, bespectacled glory. It got the laugh I’d been hoping for and I pressed a kiss to her temple and opened my arms, thrilled when she scooted over to snuggle into me. We fit together so perfectly, her back snug against me and my hands around her waist, one resting on the small baby bump. I’d never felt so peaceful before, like everything that mattered was safe in the circle of my arms.

About a half hour into the movie I felt something strange under my hand.

“What the hell?” I asked. Clarke shot me a look.

“You can feel it too?” she asked.

“Feel what?”

“The baby. No one’s been able to feel it moving before,” she said. I lit up, feeling my smile stretch from ear to ear.

“Really? I’m the first?” I asked, pushing slightly to feel the soft movements better.

“Guess it likes it like you. Or the lemon chicken,” teased Clarke, moving her shirt up and pulling the high maternity waist of her shorts down, then guiding my hand into a better position. Feeling the baby move was great, but so was feeling Clarke. Her skin was as soft as I remembered and her shampoo still smelled like lavender. The bump was smaller than I’d realized, I could cover it with both hands, and did. Clarke sighed and leaned back into me.

“I can’t believe we’re having a baby,” I whispered into her ear, not missing the goose bumps that sprang up on her neck.

“I know,” she said, putting her hands over mine on her stomach. I’m not sure how long we stayed like that but eventually I realized that Clarke had drifted off. I sat there holding her until the movie was over, unable to justify it after that. Then I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She stirred slightly when I put her down and reached a hand out in a way that made me want to crawl in beside her and never let go.

“It’s okay princess, time for bed,” I whispered and she quieted down. I took a moment to enjoy the peaceful look on her face before tucking her in and cleaning up, then grabbing her keys so I could lock her in safely and get back to my own bed at O’s, which seemed much colder than it ever had before.

 

Clarke

 

I woke up slowly and stretched, stopping when my hand connected with a piece of paper on the pillow beside me.

Morning Princess,  
Hope you slept well.  
I took your keys so I could lock up. Hope this whole me leaving while you’re asleep thing isn’t becoming a pattern. (too soon for jokes?)  
I’ll swing by in the morning with breakfast before the doctor’s appointment.   
Maybe he can help with the snoring?  
See you soon  
Bell

I read the notice twice and smiled. Last night had been nice. Really nice.Hanging out, laughing. His hands on my stomach as he held me and felt the baby move. Falling asleep feeling safe for the first time in…

It was nice. But also confusing as hell. He’d been back for a week and was leaving again. He almost always picked a fight when we were around each other, but he also felt like…

I didn’t have words for it, so it must just be hormones, right? This was all just confusing hormones and would go away soon enough.

Stupid hormones.

 

Bellamy

 

It had been a long day.

A really, really long day.

And I still had hours of packing ahead of me. Okay, maybe not hours. My place had come furnished so I mostly just had to pack up my clothes and books, load up my SUV, clean and head home. Or to the apartment above Miller’s garage, anyway. I was going to stay there for a few months while I found a better place. Moving back in with Miller seemed weird since Monty had gotten the job in town and would be moving in soon, and Lincoln and Octavia already filled up our tiny childhood home. I’d need to find a new place, maybe somewhere I could make a treehouse.

But before I started to the drive across the country and hunt for the perfect home, I needed to get a solid night’s sleep. It had been a long day and I had a family to worry about now.

Well, a kid anyway. But every time I pictured my child I saw Clarke’s face lighting up with joy when we heard the heartbeat and the tears in her eyes when we found out it would be a boy. Our boy. Jake. Jake Wells Griffin-Blake. Or Blake-Griffin, that part wasn’t decided but neither of us was too picky about it.

We’d agreed on names so easily that we’d both been shocked afterwards. Jake for a boy, after her father who’d passed and Aurora for a girl, after Mom. It was pretty much the only thing we’d agreed on since we realized we should be in bed together. I had a suspicion that Clarke was forgetting the fact we’d argued that night in the bar about everything we’d talked about to the point of it becoming a weird sort of foreplay. But then again, she’d had a business to run and a pregnancy to deal with. There was no way she’d spent as many nights thinking about me as I had about her, to the point of me frequenting a lonely bar stool in a place like the one we’d met so often that I’d started dating the bartender, Gina.

Gina.

She’d been so gracious about me ending things, that was the only word I could think of to describe how collected and dignified she’d been while also being understanding. My life would be in a great place if only I could feel for her what I felt for…

I couldn’t go there, we had way too much ground to cover before I went there.

Things at the university had gone well. I wasn’t bad at persuasive speeches and once I’d explained everything they’d agreed to let me leave and give me a wonderful recommendation. And my old university had welcomed me back happily, my last minute classes were already filling up, but I’d be teaching them in the worst classrooms on campus. Still, small price to pay for getting to be at home with O and my friends. With Clarke. Because of the baby, of course. Not because…

It was only natural, thinking she was the coolest, bravest, smartest, most challenging woman I’d ever met. Obviously I found her attractive or we wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. And how could I not with her voice and her eyes and her hair and her body… I mean, I’d probably think that way about anyone having my baby, right? 

The important thing was to keep it together and be there in the way she needed me, as the father of her child. That’s what mattered, not my feelings.

 

Miller

 

It was almost the end of our very long, very dull shift and I was thinking about Monty. He’d be close to town by now since he left right after school was out and by the time I got home he would probably have dinner organized. Most likely take out since he’d had a very long week. His current school didn’t want to let him go so he could come teach in Arkadia and had been pulling out all of the stops to keep him. It worried me a little. I knew Monty lo… cared about me the same way I cared about him even if we hadn’t said it yet, but things were moving so fast. What if they changed his mind? I couldn’t argue with the fact that Polis had more opportunities than Arkadia and at the end of the day I wasn’t much more than a small town cop.

A car slowly pulling to the curb and cutting the engine caught my attention, it was Clarke’s car. Clark hardly ever drove it, she preferred to walk everywhere. Knowing about the accident it made sense, of course. So it was a surprise to see her get out of the car, pull her jacket tighter against the biting winter wind and start unloading her groceries.

“Be back in a few,” I told Murphy who rolled his eyes at me.

“If she wanted your help she’d ask for it,” he said under his breath but I ignored him and jogged across the street. Clarke was literally the last person in the world who would ask for help. Her trunk was packed! It looked like she’d gone to one of those bulk stores and stocked up for the end times.

“Miller?” she asked uncertainly. I hoisted a few boxes of sparkling water and grabbed a couple bags before greeting her and walking them up the three flights to her apartment then repeating the tip twice before we were done.

“Should you be lifting all that?” I asked her.

“It’s fine if I keep it under 25 pounds or so, I wanted to stock up on heavy stuff before I got any bigger. Thanks for the help,” she said.

“No problem Clarke, you know how uneventful my shifts can be. You can always call me to help with the heavy lifting, you know,” I said, hoping she realized I meant it. 

“I will,” she said, then looked away uncertainly. “I do have a problem.” her voice was soft in a way I’d never heard it before. I waited for her to continue and she led me to the living room and gestured for me to take a seat while she dug for something under her couch and finally pulled out a slightly dusty box that looked like it had been mailed to her. She sat it on the coffee table and struggled to meet my eye while she spoke.

“There’s this… I’ve been getting… before I moved here I had…” I saw where this was going and tried to stop it as painlessly as possible.

“This is about Bell, isn’t it?” I asked. Clarke looked at me, blue eyes wide with surprise.

“What?”

“I know he’s a bit of an ass. And I know he’s making things harder than they need to be, but give him time Clarke. He’s a good guy,” I said.

“Miller, that’s not what…”

“I can’t be part of whatever legal thing your mom and Lexa were working on at Christmas. He’s my best friend,” I said. Clarke’s face hardened and I knew right then that I’d gotten it wrong.

“There is no legal thing, Miller. But you can hardly fault people who care about me for trying to protect me and my child after how he acted,” she said. The way she said people who care about me let me know she no longer counted me as one. I’d really messed up here and needed to fix it.

“Okay, I’m sorry I assumed…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, standing up and plastering on a polite smile “I’d better get these groceries unpacked.”

“Clarke, what is it you wanted to talk about?” I asked, taking a step towards her.

“Nothing, everything is fine,” she said, her polite smile growing frosty as she closed the dusty box with force.

“Clarke, what’s in the box?” I asked, growing more concerned by her dismissal.

“Nothing I can’t handle on my own. Thanks again for your help, Miller. Have a nice evening and tell Monty I said hello,” she said

Just like that I found myself being ushered downstairs and staring as the door closed in my face. I listened to the locks slide into place and wondered how I’d messed things up so badly and what had Clarke upset enough that she’d almost asked me for help.

 

Clarke

 

When I finally got upstairs I sank into the couch and put my feet up, exhausted emotionally and physically. I’d been so stupid to think I could waltz into some random town and just make friends with people. Of course I was wrong. They’d all been friends for their whole lives and now that they knew Bellamy was the father of my baby all they’d ever see in me was some girl their friend knocked up. At best I was an incubator for their friend’s kid, at worst I was trying to ruin his life.

Hell, even before the Bellamy thing I was just someone whose kitchen was big enough to cook Christmas dinner and who had a big TV for watching shitty reality shows. 

At least I’d figured it out before any more time had passed, right? And now I had more time to focus on working and getting ready for the baby.

My phone buzzed in my pocked and I pulled it out, it was Octavia. I rejected the call and struggled to my feet to put away the groceries and get myself organized, blinking back tears and trying to convince myself that it was better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Clarke is overreacting a bit, but she's had a terrible year and is hormonal. It would be weird if she weren't a bit defensive.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is a really long chapter, sorry

**Octavia**

I sat down next to Lincoln on the couch and put my head on his shoulder.

“Clarke wasn’t in class today,” I said. “And she bailed on dinner tonight.”

“Really? I thought she never missed a class,” he said, putting on a comedy I’d recorded. I snuggled into his side in thanks.

“She never has, until now. She’s also been avoiding my calls and cancelled hanging out this week,” I said, trying not to let it show how much it had hurt my feelings.

“Did she say why?” asked Lincoln, logical as always. 

“She said she was tired and needed some rest,” I said.

“Well, she is almost six months pregnant and works at least twelve hours a day, at least six days a week, O. She probably does need rest,” said Lincoln.

“I know. It just felt… it felt like a polite blow off, and then she ghosted today,” I said, unable to explain it properly.

“Well, she seemed normal at the studio this week. A bit quiet maybe but…”

“What do you mean quiet, you never even talk to each other,” I said. I swear I heard Lincoln roll his eyes at me.

“We talk O, just not while we’re working. It’s a respect thing,” he said.

“Hum… well, okay. She could be quiet because she’s tired. Or because she’s upset,” I said.

“Have you done something to upset her?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. I mean, I guess I made her host Christmas and then I was late. And then the whole Bell thing… and I talk all the time about my stuff but don’t give her a chance to get a word in. And honestly, if I just had some pictures of him up around the house or used his name like ever we could have avoided this whole mess! And I told him to take it easy that night he went out with Miller! It’s basically my fault she got pregnant!” I said. Lincoln pulled me closer and rubbed his hand up and down on my upper arm reassuringly.

“First of all, those two grown ass adults made a series of choices that resulted in Clarke getting pregnant and them having no way to get in touch with each other. That’s not on you. And sure, I’m guessing you pushed the whole Christmas thing, but she said yes. And drama aside, I think dinner turned out great. We both decided to go for art of pictures in the house, and we can change it any time you like. I’m sure as soon as our nephew arrives you’ll plaster his face everywhere anyway.” I couldn’t help the small squeal I let out at that. “And yeah, you probably should let Clarke talk sometimes. But I’m guessing the amount she wants to talk is not the same as the amount you want to talk, I speak from experience.”

“Funny. So what should I do?” I asked.

“She’s asking for a little space O, give it to her,” he said. I snuggled back into his side with every intention of doing just that. Really.

 

**Monty**

 

_ Can’t make dinner tonight Mon, sorry. Being pregnant is the worst! _

I looked down at my phone in suspicion. Every time Miller and I’d had plans with Clarke in the past two weeks she’d cancelled, blaming pregnancy, but if they were supposed to meet up alone she was fine.

What was going on? Not wanting to deal with endless texts, I picked up the phone and called her, speaking the second she picked up.

“Alright, what’s going on here?” I asked. Clarke yawned on the other end, pretty convincingly.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, a little too innocently.

“”Why are you avoiding Miller?” I asked, just as Miller entered the room, eyebrows raised.

“It’s that outstanding warrant Monty. I can’t go to prison now, what about the baby?” Clarke said, another yawn interrupting her. “Look, I’m sorry. I have another hour of paperwork to do and then I really need some rest.”

“Okay, as long as that’s all it is,” I said.

“Night Monty,” she said, hanging the phone up. I looked up to find Miller dodging my eye.

“Know anything about this?” I asked, but he just shrugged and walked into the kitchen.   
  


**Clarke**

 

With a long sip of my decaf mocha I took a minute to enjoy the peaceful morning. The sun was lighting up the store and casting everything in a heavenly sort of glow and soft classical music played in the background, keeping me calm and cheerful while I wrapped up the latest painting I’d sold. Thankfully it was one of my own, though they had been doing the best. With this latest sale I now officially had enough set aside to hire two part time workers for the last month of my pregnancy and the two months following without dipping into my savings. I’d still have to do the paperwork and ordering, and organizing the gallery, but the floor would be covered. I would have to work out either childcare or help at the store after that, but I’d have a better idea what I’d need when the baby got here.

Baby. With every kick to my spleen and extra trip to the bathroom it sunk in that I was really having a baby. Like an actual tiny human I’d have to keep alive, not just a weird and temporary medical condition.

The bell above the door dinged and I looked over to see Bellamy walk in. I tried to keep my expression neutral and my defenses down, hoping this would be one of our smooth interactions. It was impossible to tell how things would end when the two of us were in the same room. Sometimes it was friendly and… well, nice in away that made me want something I hadn’t quite figured out yet. Other times it was all hot words and hungry glances, me fighting the urge to drag him off to some dark corner and have my way with him. I blamed the hormones but secretly worried I’d developed some sort of strange argument kink. That couldn’t be good, right?

But seeing him standing there in his navy button up and dark jeans with a crooked smile on his face and the sun streaming in behind him, I wondered if it was just a straight up Bellamy kink?

Stupid hormones.

“Morning,” I greeted him, taping the last fold of paper down and setting the package aside for pick up.

“Good Morning Clarke. Sell another one?” he asked, gesturing to the package. I nodded, feeling a bit weird talking about it with him. “Your paintings have really been going lately. Do you have any left?” he joked. I returned his lighthearted smile.

“Well, that’s the last oil until the baby comes, but I have plenty of acrylics and a few super weird watercolours from my first trimester I’ll probably have to burn,” I joked, but he frowned instead of smiling.

“You can’t use oil paints?” I shook my head, not wanting to bring up the dozens of other mediums I couldn’t touch right now since he seemed a bit sensitive about it. “Is that cutting into your bottom line?”

“Not really, my non weird watercolours are pretty popular, acrylics are always solid and I think I’m starting a weird new obsession with inks so…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit that this pregnancy was affecting my income. Just the exhaustion alone only let me teach one class a week which had been a major part of my business plan.

“Are you okay though?” he asked, clearly feeling awkward.

“You’re the one who won’t stop calling me a spoiled princess Bellamy,” I reminded him, not wanting to lie to him for some reason but also too proud to admit the truth. He shot me a narrow eyed look that let me know he was onto me but I was saved from his next comment when the phone rang. For a minute I felt relieved, then I realized that it was 10:30 and knew who would be on the other end of the call. It rang twice more before Bellamy gave me a weird look.

“You gonna get that, princess?” he asked. I put on a polite smile and hoped I was wrong.

“Griff’s, how can I help you?” I answered. For a minute there was silence and that’s when I’d normally slam the phone down and stress clean something until I calmed down, but Bellamy was as impossible to ignore as ever. “”Hello?” I asked. Then the breathing started, heavy and deep. Creepy as fuck. “Is there someone there?” I asked, trying to control my facial expressions so Bellamy wouldn’t realize how freaked I was. The breath on the other side of the line hitched, making me wonder what the hell Finn was doing. I slowly lowered the phone with a shrug.

“Wrong number?” I asked, focusing my gaze on a nonexistent spot I wiped off the counter with a rag.

“Clarke, is everything okay?” asked Bell. His voice is what did me in and I wanted nothing more than to tell him about Finn just then.

“No actually,” I said, finally meeting his deep brown eyes then looking away. I took a deep breath, then swallowed my pride along with a big sip of my now cold mocha. “I have a problem…”

“What the hell is that?” he interrupted, his tone angry as he pointed at the cup in my hand.

“Uh, a mocha?” I asked, too confused by his change of pace to be upset. Bell took the cup from my hands and threw it the garbage.

“Do you seriously not know about the dangers of caffeine….” he started. My walls went up instantly and I remembered why I hadn’t told  Bellamy about my Finn problem.

“It was decaf. Do you seriously not know that I need to increase my calcium consumption?” I asked, furious.

“Wait, what?” he asked, backing down immediately.

“Bellamy, I can’t do this every time you read a new article online. You’re going to have to trust me to take care of this baby because whether you like it or not the ball is in my court right now,” I said, angrier that I should have been over a cup of coffee. For a minute, just one minute, I thought I could open up to him and then this happens.

How could I keep forgetting I was in this alone?

“Clarke, I’m sorry…” he started.

“Save it. Look, I’m supposed to keep my blood pressure down so if you’re going to pick a fight every time you come in here maybe you should keep your distance until you learn to control yourself,” I said. It would be easier that way.

“Clarke, you can’t mean it,” he said, his eyes killing me.

“I have to look out for my kid, and right now you, this,” I said, gesturing between us, “isn’t what’s best for him. Come back around when you can be civil.”

“Civil? Clarke, this isn’t fair!”

“Fair?” I laughed. “Don’t talk to me about fair! This pregnancy has changed my entire life, my career, my social life, hell, even what I eat and wear. Sorry inconvenience you by insisting you treat me like a human being instead of a punching bag so our unborn child doesn't suffer the consequences,” I threw out, a bit harsher than he deserved.

“I ah, I have to get to class. I apologize for having upset you,” he said formally and walked out the door. I waited until he was out of site before collapsing onto the couch in my office, piping hot angry tears off my face. I was doing what I had to do, keeping me and the baby safe. So why did it feel like I’d just wrecked something precious?   
  


**Bellamy**

 

It was late when I finally got home and I was cranky, had been since this morning. Instead of heading to the apartment over the garage I went in the back door, knocking and announcing myself loudly in case they were getting it on in the kitchen or something. 

“Relax, Bell. Unlike some people i know I don’t have a kitchen sex kink,” said Miller, handing me a beer.

“It was one time!” I objected, flopping down on the chair across from him undoing the buttons on my sleeves so I could roll them up.

“What was one time?” asked Monty, walking in and raiding the fridge. He brought over a cold pizza and we all dug in.

“I walked in on him and some girl from high school in his mom’s kitchen,” said Miller around a mouthful of pizza.

“Roma,” I supplied, remembering the awkward encounter. “And to be honest, she’s the one who had a thing for the kitchen. Besides, I thought everyone was gone! You didn’t tell me you were sleeping over.”

“Oh, I did. You were just too busy hitting on Roma to hear,” said Miller and I shrugged.

“Wait, when did we order this?” I asked before I took another bite. Miller stopped too and shot me a questioning look.

“I dunno, when we watched the game last Sunday?” he guessed.

“So it’s probably not good?” I asked, sniffing it. It seemed fine.

“Actually, that one was from two Sundays ago and growing something white and fuzzy. I threw it out. You ordered this on Thursday night, remember? You texted me because you said you were too tired to make cereal?” Monty reminded Miller with a fond a slightly exasperated smile.

“I don’t know what we’d do without you,” Miller beamed at him.

“We’d be dead from food poisoning, no question,” I said, taking the first tip of my beer. “Wait, I thought you guys had dinner plans tonight?” Monty looked at Miller, who suddenly became very interested in his beer bottle.

“Clarke cancelled again,” said Monty.

“What do you mean, again?” I asked. “You just hung out with her yesterday.”

“She’s fine with me, but something is up between her and Miller,” he said, giving his boyfriend the stink eye.

“Spit it out Miller,” I said, tone harsher than I’d intended.

“I offended her a couple weeks ago and I don’t know how to fix things. Or exactly what I did,” said Miller. “I mean, I apologized, of course. I kind of thought it would blow over by now.”

“Huh. I upset her today, too,” I said, finding my own beer to be suddenly fascinating. 

“Maybe it’s hormones?” Miller said, sounding like he hoped more than believed it to be the case.

“Yeah, probably not. Clarke’s hormones are affecting her in other ways…” said Monty with a slight blush, not meeting my eye. Huh. Interesting. “What happened when you upset her? It had to be big, I know she likes you a lot,” Monty said to Miller.

“A couple of weeks ago I was driving by her place on shift and she was unloading a ton of groceries so I helped her bring them upstairs. I took a few trips, it was a lot of groceries,” said Miller.

“Why did she have so many groceries?” I asked, kicking myself for not thinking of helping her with grocery shopping before now and happy Miller had, but also jealous that she’d let him help with something and not me.

“It’s cheaper to buy things at the bulk store,” said Monty.

“Is she worried about money?” I asked, remembering how she’d avoided the question earlier. Monty looked at me like I was the stupidest person on the planet.

“She just started a new business and has to figure out how to keep it afloat, as well as pay for mat leave coverage and childcare, of course she’s worried about money. And because it’s Clarke she also thinks she has to have money set aside for her baby’s education before he’s even born,” said Monty. Something about his tone let me think he was holding back, but I was already overwhelmed.

“Wow, that’s a lot,” i said, sitting back in my chair. “I didn’t think… my son will get a free ride at my university. I didn’t realize she was saving for it already so I hadn’t mentioned it. I tried asking her about business today. I wanted to chip in but she got…”

“She won’t take your money, Bellamy,” said Monty.

“I get, believe me, I get how stubborn she is. But the baby is my responsibility too,” I said. Monty gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Give her some time. It’s always taken her a while to warm up to people but it’s harder since this summer. Eventually she’ll let you in. In the meantime, show up every once in awhile with a decaf mocha,” he said.

“A decaf mocha?” I asked, heart sinking.

“She can’t get enough of them but thinks they’re a waste of money so gets like one a week, it’s like the highlight of her week,” he said.

Oh, I’d really fucked up.

“Now back to the grocery day Miller, what happened next?” asked Monty.

“Well, I let her know she could ask me when she needed help with stuff like that or whatever and she got quiet and said she had a problem she needed help with. From the way she was talking I thought it might be about Bell and I didn’t want to get involved. He’s my best friend and… well, I was wrong, obviously. She just shut down and put the box away, I couldn’t get her to talk again,” said Miller, shaking his head at himself and in confusion.

“What box?” I asked.

“It was under the couch, kind of creepy looking to be honest. It’d been through the mail,” he said.

“Creepy?” I asked, feeling goosebumps rise up on the back of my neck. “There was a weird call when I was at her store today, she said it was the wrong number but she was freaked out. She was going to tell me about it when... Fuck! I saw she was drinking coffee and unloaded on her and tossed it before she told me it was decaf. Then she kicked me out and told me to disappear until I figured out how to behave properly,” I said, rubbing my hands over my face.

“Seriously?” said Monty, his face had gone red and I’d never seen him look so angry. “For months, months, I’ve been working on her to get help with this and you two fuck it up without even trying? What the hell?” he sat up so quickly his chair fell onto the ground and stormed off. Miller followed him and I tagged along, knowing it was intrusive but wanting to be in the loop about Clarke. Monty was throwing things into his duffle bag from the bedroom.

“Where are you going?” asked Miller. Monty rolled his eyes and didn’t bother answering before he started grabbing his stuff from the bathroom.

“Monty, if Clarke’s in trouble we’ll…”

“You’ll what, make her feel even worse about it?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Let’s not throw around words like fair right now.”

“Look, if Clarke needs help…”

“I’ll call Murphy.”

”Murphy’s a…” I started and Monty rounded on me.

“Murphy’s a decent cop. And no matter what his personal failings might be, he doesn’t let his ego get in the way when someone needs help,” said Monty, rushing back downstairs.

“Monty, wait!” said Miller

“She’s my best friend Nathan and she came to you for help because I said she could trust you. You really let me down,” he said and just like that he was out the door.

We stood there for a few minutes, stunned. Eventually I worked up the courage to ask “What happened this summer?”

 

**Octavia**

 

And I tried to give her space, I really did. But Clarke kept blowing off my calls and cancelled our weekly hangout again, over text, so I marched down to her shop, still sweaty from the kickboxing class I’d just been teaching. I found her dumping some lilies in the trash outside of her shop, coolly taking my sweaty, messy self standing unexpectedly in front of her and for the first time reminding me of her mother. 

“How is this still happening?” I asked. She shrugged and walked into the store, holding the door open for me behind her.

“Have you talked to Miller about it yet?” I asked causing her to laugh almost manically, but she still didn’t answer.

“What can I help you with Octavia?” she asked, hiding behind her polite mask, her eyes so cold I almost got frostbite. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked. Her eyes widened in surprise and she seemed at a loss for words. “Are you mad at me because of Christmas? Because I talk too much and am pushy? Because I didn’t figure out that Bell was your babydaddy? Because Bell is your babydaddy?” she just blinked at me. “ Dammit Clarke, tell me what I did so I can fix it!”

“Octavia,” she began slowly. Using my full name couldn’t lead to anything good, I braced myself. “You don’t have to do this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t act like you care, it’s kind of fucked up to be honest,” she said, her eyes cold as ice again.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve all made it pretty clear that you’re in Bell’s corner and I’m not much more than an incubator. Don’t make it harder,” she said.

“Clarke, what are you talking about? We were friends before any of that!” I said, angry at the accusation.

“Were we? Or was I just someone with a big TV and a convenient place to host Christmas?” she said, tears gathering in her in big blue eyes and breaking my heart a little. How could she think that? What did she mean by we? What was I missing here?

“Clarke, it’s not like that, I promise,” I said, but the door dinged behind me and heavy footsteps entered the room.

“Am I interrupting?” asked a familiar voice. I turned to ask her to come back later, but Clarke beat me to it.

“Of course not Indra, please come in,” she said smoothly.

“Are you ready to talk about the student art show?”

“Absolutely, let’s step into my office. Thanks for stopping by Octavia, I’m sure I’ll see you around,” she said, clearly dismissing me. I left the store with leaden feet, confused how I could fix the situation.

Family dinner was a bit awkward the next night. 

I was feeling off after my fight with Clarke, I couldn't stop thinking about what she said and had no idea where to start figuring it out. And my own feelings were hurt from the accusations she'd made. 

Monty wasn’t there and Miller was in a dark, brooding mood about it. I hoped they hadn’t broken up. Bellamy kept shooting dark looks at Murphy for some reason and Raven was almost asleep on Anya’s shoulder, exhausted from a custom engine build that had her working her ass off all weekend. I looked at Lincoln and he shrugged, digging into the quinoa salad.

We ate silently for a few minutes, Lincoln, Anya and I exchanging confused looks, but it didn’t take long for Bellamy to explode. It never had, really.

“Seriously Murphy? What the fuck?”

“What the fuck me? I’m just doing my job, you’re the one who fucked up. Nice to see you’re still the sanctimonious asshole you were in high school,” said Murphy.

“Damnit Murphy, she’s my…”

“You’re what Bellamy? Really, I’m curious to hear the answer because it seems to me that if she was anything to you then you would have let her tell you about this herself instead of ruining family dinner,” said Murphy. Bellamy didn’t have an answer for that and looked down at his plate.

“C’mon Murphy, what was in the box?” asked Miller. Raven perked up at that.

“Wait, Clarke told you about the box,” she asked Murphy, who nodded. “Fucking finally! Excuse me,” she said, walking away and dialing her phone before she’d left the room. She came back in almost immediately and gave Anya a quick peck goodbye. Anya offered Raven her car keys but she declined, saying she could use the fresh air. It was pretty coupley for a pair that claimed they weren’t one.

“Thanks Murphy,” she said, then glared at Miller and Bellamy before shrugging her jacket on and taking off. Something in my brain clicked and I ran out after her, freezing without a jacket and shoes.

“Raven, wait!” I hollered and she stopped, looking at me with guarded eyes.

“Is this about Finn?” I asked. She nodded in agreement but didn’t say anything. “Raven, why is she so mad at me?” Raven shrugged and finally met my eye.

“We haven’t talked or anything, but she's more hurt than mad. She tried reaching out for help, twice, and just got talked over and blown off. You know how hard it is for her, especially with her crazy hormones. She probably decided that none of you really cared or something like that,” Raven said. It felt like she was sparing my feelings.

“You’re mad at me, too,” I guessed. 

“Yeah, but I’ll get over it. It’s not your fault that your brother is a moron, and I know you’re sorry about Christmas,” she said. “It’s just hard for me to see Clarke in pain, you know?”

“Yeah, I do know. Look, she’s important to me. You both are. I don’t have a lot of female friends and I don’t want to loose you guys,” I said. Raven smiled and reached out to squeeze my arm.

“You won’t. I mean, if Clarke and I can make it thought the whole Finn mess then you two will be fine. Things are just weird right now, you know?”

“Yeah. Any tips on how to make it less weird?”

“With Clarke it’s pretty easy actually. Just show up and keep showing up until she believes you won’t take off,” said Raven.

“Okay, wait here. I need shoes. And a jacket,” I said.

“Make her a plate?” Raven called out behind me and I nodded, good idea.

 

**Bellamy**

 

I was still glaring at Murphy across the table, even though I had no reason to. Octavia ran back into the house and shrugged on some shoes and her jacket, then grabbed some tupperware and filled it up from the table before shooting Lincoln an apologetic smile and swiping the car keys on her way out.

“You know Murphy, we’re supposed to be partners. You could have told me about this,” said Miller. Murphy rolled his eyes and looked his partner square in the eye.

“If you wanted to be involved you should have taken her seriously when she tried to file the report the first time. Now you’ll have to wait to read it until Monday morning when you go back to the station and look on my desk…”

We were out the door before he finished the sentence and quicker than I'd ever thought possible w e were scrambing out of my SUV and up the stairs into the police station, getting a funny look from the cop who was working the front desk. Miller snatched the file off of his partners desk and started reading, swatting my hands away when I tried to reach for it.

“You’re not a cop Bell! Let me read it and I’ll tell you what you need to know,” he said and I backed off, flinching every time he swore and feeling my heart sink as his expression grew more and more serious. 

“Miller…” I said. He met my eye and put the folder down, reaching for the box that had been sitting next to it.

“It’s her ex, he’s kind of stalking her,” said Miller, opening the box.

“Fuck!” I swore under my breath. We’d really messed up. Miller opened the card at the top of the box and we both swore when read the creepy message, then again when we saw the photos the box had been stuffed with. Her and some floppy haired asshole standing together at various holidays and events. The guy had a smile that seemed disingenuous and Clarke didn’t look happy in any of them. Not miserable either, almost like she was running an errand or had been interrupted from doing something more important when someone insisted on taking their picture and she was only half paying attention. 

“Shouldn’t this be like in evidence bags or something?” I asked.

“Murphy left it out because he knew we’d want to see it, Bell,” said Miller softly. 

“Right. Guess I owe him one. So what’s the plan?” I asked. Miller gave me a look I’d never seen him use before and sank into Murphy’s chair, gesturing me to sit as well.

“The file says Clarke didn’t want to say anything because she new there wasn’t much we could do. It’s creepy and weird to send you ex flowers every week and call without speaking every day at the same time and whatever the fuck this is,” he gestured to the box, “but it’s not illegal to be creepy and weird.”

“What? He just gets to get away with it?” I asked.

“Today Murphy passed this Finn guys photo around to Clarke’s neighbours and told them to call if they saw him. He’s also thinking about getting a buddy in the Polis PD to pay him a visit at work and discourage him from contacting Clarke in the future,” said Miller

“Thinking about it? Why hasn’t he done it?” I asked.

“He’s worried it might escalate things, and he’s right. People who behave like this are unpredictable Bell, it might make things worse,” he said.

“Worse?” I asked, unsure how it could get worse.

“Murphy also left this note,” he said, pulling a post if off the inside of the file.

_ She’s freaked out and embarrassed and not holding it together as much as she wants us all to believe. Getting this file started was a big step for her, don’t make it worse by being idiots.  _

“So what do we do?” I asked, overwhelmed. Miller scrubbed his hands over his face.

  
“Stop being idiots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday's update will be shorter but kind of intense!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the only violence in this fic. Nothing close to what you see in the show, but someone does die and there is minor violence, so please don't read if this triggers you in any way.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think.

Clarke

I was enjoying every minute of the walk back from the grocery store, except for the weight of the mango yogurt and ginger ale maybe, but my recent cravings for it more than made up for the inconvenience of carrying it back three blocks. The air was cool and crisp but not cold, the sunset was lighting up the cloudy sky into a thousand shades of pink and orange and best of all, I was alone.

That’s not to say I minded the company I’d been getting lately. Once I got over my initial embarrassment of having everyone find out about the Finn situation I could appreciate how nice it was to know people cared enough to check in. But the checking in was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. As well as dealing with my customers, students, suppliers and artists whose work I featured in the gallery, I now had someone dropping in the store what felt like every hour or so. 

Bellamy would swing by before his classes with a decaf mocha and some sort of breakfast item and chat for a bit, so careful to stay polite and not push my buttons. I found myself responding in the same stilted, formal manner to keep the peace and it was nice that not to fight, but I missed us being ourselves with each other. He’d also stop by sometimes in the evenings, quietly grading papers while I worked in the studio or sitting at the back of the class on Monday. That kind of intimidated me, he was an actual university professor and I was just teaching the basics to a few retirees and stay at home parents. But afterwards he hung around to help me clean up and told me he thought I was great at it. I still lit up when I remembered the compliment.

Octavia had been stopping by at least once a day, filling me with guilt about how I’d pushed her away. She didn’t try to force anything, just kept showing up and letting me know she was there. Lincoln still came to my studio hours of course, but he seemed more watchful than usual. Miller and Murphy came in when they were on shift, Miller had a hard time meeting my eye and I wasn’t sure how to fix things. I knew he and Monty were fighting and hated to be the cause of it so every time he came in I tried to be extra nice to Miller and when we talked I urged Monty to forgive him.

Nyko stopped in a couple times under the guise of telling me about some new article or giving me a weird recipe we both knew I’d never make, but then staying to talk for a while since we both enjoyed each other’s company. Lexa stopped by from time to time too, usually on her way back from the courthouse. After I got over how great she looked in a suit it was pretty easy to talk to her and we started to become friends instead of almost lovers. Anya came in once, spoke to me for less than a minute and purchased three paintings that I ended up helping her hang that night. I wouldn’t say we became close, but it was nice getting to know the girl my best friends claimed not be dating and also my baby’s future great aunt? Cousin in law? Something, anyway. Thinking about the convoluted relationship made me glad things with Lexa hadn’t worked out, how would I have explained that one to my kid?

Raven stayed in my spare room more often than not, I was worried it was affecting her relationship so I’d kicked her out tonight and told her to go get laid. Now, for the first time in over a week, I was alone and it was wonderful.

Noticing the card shop a block down from me already had their valentine’s day display up in the window I stopped to have a look. It was adorable. Normally I didn’t care for Valentine’s day at all, but maybe Raven was right about pregnancy making me soft? A dark shadow loomed behind my reflection in the window and I turned abruptly, jaw dropping when I saw who it was.

“Finn. You scared me,” I said. He looked like he hadn’t slept or showered in a few days, his hair greasy and lank and his eyes rimmed red and bloodshot while they stared at my belly with a predatory expression that sent shivers down my spine.

“So it’s true then,” he said softly and in a voice I didn’t recognize. I took a step back.

“It’s not yours,” I said firmly. Finn just laughed, a little too loud and still with that crazed look in his eyes.

“This is you punishing me because of Raven, isn’t it?” he asked.

“No. I told you, it’s not your...”

“Don’t lie!” he yelled, stepping closer to me again. Maybe if it wasn’t pregnant I wouldn’t have been so scared, but for every step he took towards me I took at least two back until my back rammed into the window of the card shop. Finn crowded against me but then seemed to realized what he was doing and took the smallest of steps back.

“Look, I know it was bad,” he said, obviously trying to reign in the crazy in his eyes. “I never meant to hurt you or Raven. I thought it was understood that we were broken up.”

“You asked her to marry you before she left,” I said.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean… look, it’s in the past. We need to worry about our future.”

“We don’t have a future Finn.”

“You can’t do this Clarke! You can’t take my child away because…”

“It’s not yours! I’m six months along, we broke up 8 months ago,” I said.

“Liar!” He screamed, hitting the window by my head and pinning me against it with his body. I flinched at the impact and he backed off slightly but still kept me pinned in the corner against the wall. “I’m sorry,” he said, brushing a strand of hair out of my face and cupping my cheek. “I still love you.”

“Finn, this isn’t what love looks like. We broke up almost a year ago now. I’ve moved on and you need to as well,” I said. I tried for a gentle and reasonable tone but just seemed to make him angrier.

“Stop lying! Why are you lying so much?” he yelled, stepping back to walk angrily around in a circle. 

I took that opening and run down the street as fast as I could. On instinct I started running home but that was the wrong choice, all of the stores on this end of the street were closed and we were the only people around. I heard Finn behind me and knew I couldn’t outrun him, so I grabbed the heavy tote bag in both hands and threw it behind me, momentarily satisfied when I heard him grunt as the heavy bag made impact.

It slowed him down just long enough for me to get in the side door of my building and lock it behind me. Panting, I stared at the door, almost not believing it when he started kicking. The old wood shuddered with the impact and I knew it wouldn’t last long. I threw open the door to the store and took off upstairs, opening the door to the studio and my apartment to throw him off while I made my way onto the roof. The door had just closed behind me when I heard my outside door give and Finn yell in triumph. I ducked behind the old chimney and drew my knees to my chest while I fumbled with my phone. My fingers wouldn’t stop shaking long enough to dial so I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Something below crashed and another screamed echoed through the building. I clumsily made my way to the M’s and clicked on Miller’s number instead of Murphy’s. He picked up immediately.

“Clarke?” he asked. I tried to speak but all that would come out was a choked sob. “It’s okay Clarke, take a deep breath. Where are you?”

“Home… on the roof. Downstairs, he’s downstairs Miller,” I said, my voice shaking as much as my hands had earlier.

“It’s okay Clarke, we’re already on the way,” he said, calm and steady. I took a deep breath. 

“Okay.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I ran. But something is wrong with him Miller, he’s dangerous. You have to be careful.”

“It’s okay Clarke, I’ve got this,” he reassured me. Something crashed in my apartment right below us.

“He’s in my apartment,” I whispered. I heard the sirens come onto the street and stop outside.

“We’re here. Keep hiding Clarke, I’m on my way up,” he said before disconnecting the call. I heard their doors slam closed and took a deep breath. The door to the roof slammed as he kicked it open and I drew my knees as close to my chest as they belly would allow, praying no part of me showed from behind the tiny chimney.

“I know you’re up here Clarke! Hiding only makes it worse,” Finn said. I didn’t even recognize his voice, he sounded like someone else. How was this happening?

His footsteps echoed around the other side of the roof as he searched behind the stairwell and small utilities shed. Knowing he would find me soon I groped around the ground with shaking hands, stopping when my left hand found something hard and solid, a loose brick from the old chimney. The footsteps were getting closer now and it sounded like he was running. 

Where was Miller?

Finn was on me before I knew it, hauling me to my feet and slapping me hard across my face. My ears rang and I felt blood trickling down down from my split lip. Finn was speaking but I couldn’t make out anything he was saying, just that he kept shaking me with the hand that wrapped around my arm like a vice. I snapped out of it when he tried to drag me to the edge of the roof and remembered the brick I grasped in my left hand. Knowing I would only get the one shot I pulled back and struck him across the side of his face with all of my strength. Finn staggered back several feet from the impact and looked at me with almost comically wide eyes. I saw he was teetering on the edge and instinctively stepped forward to help him when a pair of strong arms pulled me back. I looked back to see Miller coolly taking me in as he pulled me back from the ledge. He was speaking but I couldn’t hear anything he said.

Murphy was holding a hand out to Finn who still wobbled on the edge of the roof, refusing the help. He took a step towards Finn, trying to grab him and pull him back from the edge. Finn looked at me and smiled before spreading his arms and falling back to the pavement below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update should be Sunday - struggling with next part a bit so don't see getting it up any sooner.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night after the Finncident.

Clarke

I came to my senses a while later. I was sitting on the couch in my living room and had no recollection of how I got there. The room was lit up by Miller’s squad car on the street below, flashing red and blue. Nyko was beside me and I sensed he’d been speaking to me but had no idea what he’d said.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked. He sat close to me on the couch but not too close and made no move to touch me. 

“It’s okay Clarke, you’re doing just fine. I was asking if I could examine your face, I need to clean the wounds.”

“My face?: I asked, then it all came back. Finn attacking me. Finn going over the edge. 

“Is he dead?” I asked. Nyko nodded, somehow even kinder and more calming than normal.

Finn was dead. The last thing he’d done was look at me and smile before falling back over the edge. 

“Clarke, I need to treat you,” Nyko said, so patiently. I nodded and he pulled on some gloves from his first aid kit and flashed a light in my eyes before he started cleaning my wounds. The sharp smell of alcohol turned my stomach and I made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up. It was embarrassing to have Nyko there to see it but he just held my hair back and moved the mirror on the medicine cabinet so I couldn’t see my reflection when I rinsed my mouth out. I wondered how bad it was, but decided to trust Nyko’s judgement for now. When I apologized he waved me off and reminded me he was a doctor, then led me back to the couch to treat my wounds. 

Somehow, throwing up had brought me back to myself a little more. I still felt off, but I was aware of Nyko cleaning a few scrapes on my face and winced when he got my split lip.

“It doesn’t need stitches, but it’s going to hurt for a few days. The rest of the bruising should fade in about the same time, the swelling will be less day after tomorrow,” he said. I nodded, having no idea what else to do. He handed me an ice pack and told me to hold it against my face while he disinfected and bandaged a few cuts on my hands, then gingerly touched the middle finger of my left hand.

“I think your finder is broken,” he said. I looked down and remembered smashing Finn in the face with the brick.

“Will it heal okay?” I asked. I needed my hands to make a living.

“It’s a small fracture, it’ll be probably be okay to take the cast off in a few weeks,” he said. By cast he meant a weird metal thing that went around the finger and was velcroed together. Nyko helped me take my coat off so he could take my blood pressure and his face went hard. I looked down to see the bruises Finn had left from grabbing my arm, they were already dark. One for each of his fingers and an especially dark one for his thumb. When I looked back up Nyko’s face had gone back to normal and he mumbled reassuring things while he rubbed a cream on the bruises, then took my blood pressure and examined my stomach. A few minutes later he got up and I heard the kettle turn on, then he came and handed me a sweater to put on while he made me a cup of peppermint tea.

“Is the baby okay?” I asked, knowing I should’ve done so earlier. Some of my guilt must have shown on my face because Nyko flashed me that reassuring smile of his again.

“You don’t remember asking, do you? You’ve asked at about the baby at least five times Clarke. He’s fine, and so are you. Your blood pressure is okay, you have a couple of bruises but you’ll both be perfectly fine.” 

“Okay,” I said, staring into the cup. “I feel... off.” 

“It’s to be expected,” he said, and I had to look away, overwhelmed by the kindness in his eyes and not wanting to lose control. I looked around the room, noticing the mess for the first time. My chair had been flipped over and there were things everywhere, throw pillows and cozy blankets littered the floor along with papers and books. I got up to survey the damage and heard Nyko telling me to sit down, but I had to see. The kitchen was fine and the spare room too. The mirror in my room had been thrown to the ground and smashed, pieces of glass covering the floor. I stopped outside the baby’s room and stared at the hole in the wall about the same level as my face, he’d obviously punched the wall. My fingers drifted up to brush it as I felt rage start to course through my veins. How dare he?

“Clarke, stop. You can’t touch anything. This is a crime scene,” said Miller as he walked into my apartment.

“This is my home,” I said. His eyes were warm and full of emotion. 

“I know and I promise we’ll be done as soon as we can. Come and have a seat.”

I followed him back into my living room and sat on the couch, feeling strangely out of place as the two men discussed the fact I was surprisingly okay, just a bit shaken up. Then Nyko left to deal with Finn, promising to look in again before he left. I thanked him and looked over at Miller, not sure what to do.

“I killed him,” I said. Miller’s lip twitched, was he laughing at me?

“Clarke, it was self defense turned suicide. Hell, you even tried to save him from falling moments after he attacked you,” said Miller.

“I hit him with a brick at the edge of my roof and he fell off,” I said, my voice small and unfamiliar.

“You defended yourself and your child, Clarke. You tried running, you tried hiding and you called for help. Then he attacked you and was dragging you to the edge when you hit him with that brick. Nice hit, by the way, it was fantastic. You even tried to save that sadistic ass hat, so did Murphy. He wanted to go over, probably to try and fuck with your head some more,” said Miller.

“I just.. It’s confusing. He wasn’t always like this. Or maybe he was and I didn’t see. Before the accident I was so busy with school and work and family stuff that looking back he was more of a habit than a boyfriend, someone to bring to events and hang out with on free nights you know? I never put much thought into our relationship. When I found out about Raven it was mostly my pride that was wounded. God, that sounds so awful ,” I said.

“You’re hardly the first person to have a causal relationship Clarke,” said Miller and I nodded. “Do you feel up to going over everything now? It would be good to get this over with right away.” 

“Should I have a lawyer? Can I get in trouble for this? Honestly, I’ve never even had a speeding ticket.” Miller smirked at that and fought to keep his face professional.

“That’s because you drive like my grandmother. Like it said it’s self defense turned suicide so there won’t be any charges. I mean, you had two cops witness everything so it doesn’t get much more cut and dry than that. If you want though I can call Lexa? Or we can wait till tomorrow for your mom to send someone from Polis? I thought you might want to just get this over with.” I really did and the next half hour or so was spent reliving what had happened that night and during the months before. I kept going from furious with Finn to guilty and back again, struggling with my breath to keep my blood pressure even for the baby. Finally, Miller handed me a statement which I signed without reading.

“Okay, Murphy has been processing the rest of the building so we’ll wrap up this floor and that should be all. Do you want to go stay with Raven tonight?” asked Miller.

“Shit, Raven. I have to tell her about Finn,” I said. “She won’t want me around after this. I’ll just stay here Miller. I’ll be fine.” Miller gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Raven won’t blame you for this Clarke, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said. I nodded and tried to give him a polite smile but he just rolled his eyes. “Look, at least let me call Bellamy.” 

“Why? So he can throw this in my face too?” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“He literally screamed at me because I had a decaf coffee the other day, what do you think he’s going to say about this?” I gestured to the disaster of a room and my bruised face. “There’s only so much I can take in one night.” My voice broke and I looked away, walking to stare out the window. Below Nyko was helping load a body bag into the back of an ambulance.

“Clarke, the only reason you and your baby are alive today is because of how brave and quick thinking you are. Bell knows how much you care about your baby, how hard you’re working to keep him healthy and provided for. He’s just a bit of an ass sometimes. He’ll come around,” said Miller. I looked over and offered a quick smile before squeezing his hand. “I’ll go check downstairs then come up to process this room. Think about calling Raven Or O. Or someone.” I watched his reflection in the mirror grow smaller as he walked out the door then called out.

“Miller? Thanks for today. Thanks for coming when I called,” I said. Miller gave me a smile and nodded.

“Anytime Clarke.”

Miller

I left Clarke’s apartment in a bit of a daze. I’d seen some messed up situations in my time on the force, but seeing a close friend have to deal with this was something else entirely. I stopped when I saw Bell almost at the top of the stairs, he’d obviously been listening to our conversation. Jerking my head to the studio I gestured for him to be quiet until I’d closed the door behind us. Clarke was right, she’d dealt with enough today. Bell’s eyes swam and he just stood there for a couple of minutes.

“Does she really think that? That I’d unload on her about this?” he asked.

“You do about everything else,” I said. Bell dropped his gaze and nodded.

“I don’t mean to. I just…”

“I’m not the one you need to have this conversation with Bellamy. Look, we both fucked up with Clarke and I’m the last person who should ever give relationship advice, but you’ve got to get your head out of your ass. Stop letting the fact that you’re confused about being in love with her get in the way of being there for her. Hell, maybe if she realizes she can count on you she’ll be willing to give you a shot,” I said, watching Bellamy’s eyes go wide, but to his credit he didn’t deny his feelings for her.

“Fine, okay. But then you need to get your head out of your ass, too. Call Monty,” he said.

“He doesn’t want to talk to me….”

“You haven’t tried Miller, so cut the crap. Call your boyfriend and tell him to get his ass down here, then lay it on the line. He was ready to move for you, I think it’s about time you dropped the L-bomb,” he said.

“Fine, I guess it’s about time we got our shit together,” I said, inwardly freaking out at the thought.

“Right. So I heard her say she wants to stay here tonight. Can I fix the outside door? The lock is okay, it’s the door that’s broken. I’ll order a new one in the morning but for tonight I can at least board it up,” he said.

“Yeah, go get some tools and boards. I’ll make sure it’s clear to fix by the time you get back,” I told him. With a new gleam in his eye Bell headed out and I picked up my phone. 

Raven

There was a stain on the pavement. It was hard enough to make out in the dark but I knew that’s where Finn had landed. How was this happening? Octavia had showed up at my door barely twenty minutes ago to fill me in and of course it didn’t feel real yet. How could Finn do this to Clarke?

I looked away from the stain and noticed that Lincoln and Bellamy were unloading wood and tools from the back of Bell’s truck. I realized why when I saw the door. Someone had kicked and torn at it until a man could fit through the hole he’d made. 

How could Finn do this?

A throat cleared next to me and I looked over to see Murphy standing in the door to the shop, behind him merchandise was scattered everywhere. 

“Miller is still processing upstairs, so be careful to stay in the apartment and not touch anything else until he give the okay,” he said.

“Got it,” answered Octavia before placing a hand on the small of my back and guiding me upstairs. I dragged my feet a little, how could I face Clarke? Wouldn’t she blame me for all of this? If I hadn’t come back then none of this would have ever happened.

Octavia

I’d never seen Raven so quiet. Her face was drawn and pale as she took in the stain on the sidewalk from where Finn had fallen, and somehow it got even paler when she saw what he’d done to Clarke’s door. I greeted Bell and kissed Lincoln on the cheek, glad they were taking care of the door. Murphy stopped us on the way up but I don’t think Raven heard a word he said. I could see the shop had been trashed and the studio too. It wasn’t enough that this guy had tried to kill Clarke, he had to ruin her business too?

Raven stopped at the top of the stairs and I had to push her in a little, but I tried to be gentle. Clarke needed us right now. I wasn’t prepared for what I’d see. I’d known that she’d been attacked, but the whole left side of her face was bruised, the eye swollen almost shut and shut and her bottom lip split open. Far worse, though, was the strange look in her red rimmed eyes that darted unseeing about the room. She was on edge but trying to force herself to relax for the baby, her expression kept switching from angry to terrified to sad even as she sipped on a cup of herbal tea and nodded along to whatever Nyko was saying. 

They both looked over when they saw us and Clarke’s eyes filled when she saw Raven.

“I’m so sorry Rae,” she said. Raven snapped out of it and went to sit next to the trembling blonde, putting an arm around her blanket clad shoulder. 

“No Clarke, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry,” said Raven.

“Why? It’s not your fault,” said Clarke.

“You're both right,” I said, taking a seat next to them as Nyko made room for me on the couch. “This was Finn, neither of you did anything wrong.”

We sat there for a few minutes in silence, some of us deep in thought and some of us trying not to be. Eventually, Nyko broke the silence.

“Clarke, you need to get some rest tonight,” he said. Clarke shook her head, her eyes darting around the room again.

“It’s best for the baby,” he said softly and Clarke signed.

“I honestly don’t think I can sleep tonight, Nyko,” she said. He reached into his coat pocket and brought out a pill bottle. Clarke started to protest and he raised a hand to stop her.

“It’s perfectly safe for the baby and right now you both need rest,” he said. 

“It’s okay Clarkey, I’ll stay with you tonight,” said Raven, taking her hand.

“Yeah, me too,” I added.

“My room is trashed…”

“So we’ll bunk in the spare room, it’ll be like a sleepover,” said Raven.

“A Clarke oreo,” I said. 

“You know, certain corners of the internet would pay good money to see this,” said Raven, causing Clarke to snort out a laugh and when Nyko handed her a small pill with a glass of water she took it without protest and soon enough I was helping her climb into the middle of the bed and Raven crawled behind to spoon her.

I walked down with Nyko to goodbye to Lincoln and lock up once they were done with the door, but Bell shooed me off to bed, saying he’d do it on his way up. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was staying the night. Almost the second I got into bed Clarke snuggled into my shoulder and started snoring loudly in my ear. Raven was either passed out or pretending to be so we didn’t have to talk, so I got my phone out and started texting with Lincoln figure out how to get the gym covered tomorrow so we could help clean up the mess this Finn guy had left.

Bellamy

I’d been this emotionally exhausted before and survived, I tried to tell myself. The night I’d realized that Mom was gone for good and I now had a mortgage to pay and fifteen year old sister to support, as well as my tuition to cover. The morning, about a year later, when I got the call that she was dead. Another six months or so after that when O’s father, who we hadn’t seen in over ten years, tried to get custody. Christmas, when I’d found out about the baby and realized I’d ruined things with Clarke.

But tonight, tonight some crazy person had tried to kill my unborn son and my… my Clarke. And she thought I’d blame her for it.

After washing my hands and brushing my clothes off downstairs I did a quick look to make sure everything was as secure as I could make it then slowly made my way up the the apartment, taking stock of everything we’d need to clean up the next day. I locked the door behind me and made a note to pick up an additional chain lock when I was at the hardware store tomorrow. 

Peeking into the spare room I couldn’t help but smile at how Clarke was cuddled into O’s shoulder and snoring loudly, totally out from the sleep pill. Raven spooned her from behind and O was on her phone, her face lit up by it as she met my eye.

“I’m going to crash on the couch, need anything?” I whispered. O shook her head and smiled before going back to her phone, probably talking to Lincoln. They were so in love it was gross. I rolled my eyes at them and gave the apartment a quick once over before ending up in the living room. Realizing I was being ridiculous but unable to stop myself, I dragged the couch until it was in front of the door, sneezing at the dust bunnies I’d kicked up in the process. Satisfied now that I was in front of the only entry point in the apartment and had a view of the spare room, I finally closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm really sorry this took so long, life has been a little on the rough side the last week or so and I didn't have a chance to keep up my usual schedule of writing. Or sleeping. Or eating and whatnot. 
> 
> I'm also sorry for not replying to everyone's comments. They really do mean the world to me and I'll reply back as soon as possible. 
> 
> I'll stop apologizing now since my Canadian is showing :) Just one last thing. I just saw the finale and everything else aside (cause I'd be here forever if it weren't. I mean, how did Lexa not say I love you back?!). This is like the one show in downtown Vancouver that wasn't shot in my neighborhood! What the hell? I've walked through hordes of zombies to get to my office more times than I can count. I see The Flash more often than my folks. Seriously, I'm not even exaggerating. A few weeks ago Prison Break 2 actually set fire to my building and killed the elevators so we had to walk down 22 floors, back up to go to work then down again. And the ONE show I'd like to see filming wasn't in my neighborhood???!!! What the actual fuck!
> 
> Okay, rant over. 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think. Next update will be Thursday then next Sunday.

Clarke

I woke up confused and disoriented, looking around my spare room as I felt the still warm pillows on either side of me. My head felt fuzzy and was throbbing but I pushed myself up anyway, stopping when I saw the bruises on my arm. Everything from last night came flashing back at once and a big part of me wanted to sink back into the pillows, pull the covers over my head and deal with the disaster that was my life tomorrow. But for better or for worse, that just wasn’t me. So I pushed myself out of the warm bed and staggered into the bathroom, taking my first look at my bruised face. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, of course it was awful, my lip was split and I had a black eye and the two were joined by a puffy dark purple bruise, but it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I’d looked so much worse after the car accident, there was really no comparison. I’d survived that, so of course I’d make it through this.

So I brushed my teeth, washed my face, sprayed on some dry shampoo before wrapping my hair up in a messy bun and carefully avoiding the broken glass on my bedroom floor to grab a fresh pair of leggings and baggy t-shirt.

There was no sign of Raven or Octavia, they must have left for work. So I grabbed a yogurt and glass of juice and pulled a notepad and pencil from the junk drawer before sitting down at the kitchen table. What I needed was a list. I always made a list I knew my day would be full of long, unpleasant tasks I always started with one I could easily check off.

1\. Eat Breakfast

I polished off the yogurt and started my juice while thinking of what else needed to be done in my apartment.

2\. Clean up mirror  
3\. Clean up living room

Groaning at my surprisingly sore muscles, I stood and put my dishes in the dishwasher before having a closer look at the living room. It wasn’t as bad as I remembered, one of the girls must have straightened the chair before they left and thrown everything that had been strewn across the floor onto the couch to deal with later. Thinking of Finn touching them made my skin crawl and I hurriedly added a couple more things to my list.

4\. Wash all of the pillows and blankets in living room.  
5\. Google if you can somehow bleach an apartment and if that’s okay for baby. Bleach bomb maybe?

With one last shudder I made my way down the hall and stopped outside of the nursery.

5\. Spackle and paint fist hole by nursery (how is this my life now?)

I continued down the hall until I stood outside of my room, taking in the broken mirror that covered my floor and wondering what else he’d touched.

6\. Wash bedding in case he touched it. Is burning it an overreaction?

Realizing the rest of my apartment was okay I headed to the stairwell, stopping to look up at the roof. I wasn’t quite ready to go back up there.

7\. Check roof later.  
8\. Why was chimney falling apart?  
9\. Wait, why do I have a chimney? I don’t have a fireplace. Is that bad for the foundation or other builder-like terms?  
10\. Watch more HGTV and less Ghost Hunters  
11\. DVR Ghost Hunters

Trying not to worry about my mysterious chimney, I slowly made my way down to the studio. How could I possibly hurt this much? I hadn’t even run a full block and had barely punched Finn.

I forgot all about my sore muscles when I saw the studio. It was trashed. All of the time and hard work and money I’d invested in it was undone by an adult temper tantrum. The drying rack had been torn from the wall and lay in splinters on the ground, paintings myself and other artists had left there were scattered all over the room. A floor to ceiling shelf I stored different acrylics and mediums on had been ripped of the wall as well, most of the bottles popped open and congealed together in a thick hardened mass across the floor.

There was thousands dollars worth of damage here. It could ruin my business. I took a few deep breaths and added the next item to the list.

12\. Every single broken thing down here gave you extra time to keep the baby safe. No matter what happens, even if you lose the business, remember to be thankful for that.

Reading my own note a few times helped and soon I was on my feet pulling paintings out and placing them carefully on the work tables, amazed that none had been damaged. If I didn’t have to pay for the damaged art my losses in the room went down significantly and breathing got a bit easier.

13\. Fix drying rack in studio, or does it need to be replaced? Ask Rae.  
14\. Make list of broken supplies to replace.  
15\. Embrace the weird acrylic mess in corner? Chisel it off? Kill it with fire?

Realizing I’d done all I could in the studio for now, I made my way down to the store, hating that I had to grip the handrail for support.

16\. Bleach all handrails and doorknobs - seriously, bleach bomb? That has to be a thing.

I finally made my way downstairs and stopped in front of the door in shock. Someone had carefully boarded it up, I couldn’t even see where I’d heard Finn break through last night. With a hand on the painstakingly cut and screwed on wood, for a moment I felt safe and loved, the last thing I’d expected to feel today.

17\. Find out who fixed door and thank them.  
18\. Order new door for outside. And apartment. Steel. Wait, are titanium doors a thing?

With a deep breath to steady my nerves, I walked into the store, expecting the worst. A few shelves had been toppled over and tubes of paint and brushes littered the floor like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It would take hours to sort through, but most of it looked undamaged. A couple of the shelves might need minor repairs and some new paint, but everything was surprisingly fixable.

19\. Ask for help fixing shelves.  
20\. Sort through mess on floor, most of it still looks okay?

I slowly made my way to the gallery, surprised and relieved to find it totally untouched. Through the window I could see police tape sectioning off the sidewalk in front of my building and I hurried back into the office, trying to forget the Finn shaped stain I’d just seen on my sidewalk and pretending I wasn’t blinking back tears. I slumped into my desk chair and stared at my list without seeing it for a few minutes until the pain in my back snapped me out of it.

21\. Do I need a new office chair or is it pregnancy?  
22\. Make a sign for door that somehow explains store closed without saying why exactly.  
23\. Shit - Call Mom, like now!  
24\. Call Monty.  
25\. Let Bellamy know baby’s okay? Is that weird? Why is everything so weird with us?

I stared at the last item on the list for a few minutes like I was waiting for an answer, then realized I had no idea where my cell phone was. And of course I didn’t know anyone’s numbers by heart, so I couldn’t use the store line.

26\. Find phone! Is it on roof?  
27\. Insurance - check timeline for reporting. Do I need to report? Wells would know what to do.

I turned on my laptop and pulled my insurance information out of my filing cabinet before I realized their office wouldn’t be open yet.

28\. Do I need an alarm system?  
29\. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE A CHIMNEY AND NO FIREPLACE? WHERE DOES THE RAIN GO??

An embarrassingly loud growl came from my stomach and I was relieved that no one was around to hear it. I pulled a granola bar from my desk drawer and munched on it while dreaming about the breakfasts my dad used to make.

30\. Can I get waffles delivered? If so, why does anyone ever leave house?  
31\. Google jobs where you don’t have to leave house or wear pants and can eat waffles all day.  
32\. Figure out how to apologize to O for being an ass. Offer to help her decorate? Her hinting has been getting pretty hard to ignore, but it might piss Lincoln off. Figure out how to pre-apologize to Lincoln. Unlimited studio access?

The sound of my door slamming open followed by a loud grunt had me on my feet and grabbing my umbrella like a club and I silently walked forward to investigate. The last thing I expected to see was Bellamy unloading a bunch of bags in my entryway. Judging from the way he yelled and backed into the wall, I was the last thing he’d expected to see too.

“What the? Clarke?” he said, clutching his heart and acting like I was the one who’d just broken and entered.

“What are you doing?” I asked, lowering the umbrella.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Why are you out of bed?” he asked.

“It’s like 8:30 on a Wednesday, I’m kind of supposed to be up by now,” I pointed out. He gave me a funny look.

“Well, Nyko thought the sleeping pill would last at least until 11 and also, you’re supposed to be on bedrest,” he said, his voice soft and kind.

“Bedrest? But he said the baby was okay,” I said, slumping to sit down on the stairs.

“He’s fine,” Bellamy said, sitting down next to me. “Nyko just wants to be safe. He’s going to stop by later on to check on you.” I nodded and looked at the bags he’d dropped everywhere.

“What is all of this?” I asked, covering my mouth as a giant yawn tore through me.

“Supplies we’ll need to fix everything, spackle and nails and stuff. I ordered a new front door but they won’t be able to deliver it until this afternoon,” he said.

“You fixed my door,” I said softly and he blushed and looked away.

“Lincoln helped,” he said.

“Thank you Bellamy,” I said sincerely and he met my eye and nodded before another yawn ripped through me.

“What the hell was in that pill?” I asked.

“C’mon princess, let’s get you back to bed,” Bellamy said, helping me to my feet and then lifting me up bridal style.

“Put me down Bellamy, I can walk,” I said.

“You’re not supposed to though, because bedrest.”

“Bell, I’m too heavy. Put me down, it’s only a few stairs. And everyone knows bedrest doesn’t count before you know about it,” I said, causing him to laugh lightly.

“I can’t argue with such solid logic, but you’re not heavy. You’re only like 10 pounds heavier than you were before the baby,” he said, getting an actual laugh out of me and before I could correct him I was carefully being laid down on the spare bed and tucked in like a small child. He even brought me a glass of water. I felt my eyelids getting heavier but resisted falling back asleep.

“It’s okay Clarke, I’ll be right downstairs. You’re safe now, get some rest.”

His words were like magic and I was out before he stopped speaking.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more Bellark bonding time

Bellamy

I may have stood there watching Clarke sleep for a minute or two longer than was strictly appropriate. Okay, so I definitely did. But who could blame me? I was going to take any chance I had to make sure that she was actually safe, that she’d actually survived last night and that her and the baby were both going to be fine. Of course, when I realized I was creeping on her I backed up and paced around the living room for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. I wanted to be there in case she needed something when she woke up again, but I also wanted to get everything organized for when the others came by to help later. 

My pacing eventually brought me to the nursery and I spent a moment standing by my son’s crib and trying not to panic over how close I’d come to losing them both. Eventually my breathing got normal again I released my death grip on the railing. That’s when I saw it and started grinning like a crazy person before I tore the box open and rooted around the kitchen until I found the junk drawer and pulled a few batteries free from the enormous package I found.

Rolling my eyes at Clarke’s hoarder like tendencies, I popped the batteries in and tiptoed into the spare room to place the monitor on the bedside table, then straightened the covers around Clarke and tip toed out again. I stopped halfway down the stairs to listen to the monitor and couldn’t help the smile that broke out on my face at the sound of her light snoring. It was new, she hadn’t snored before the baby and it was adorable. 

I hauled the bags into a free space in the store and looked at the mess around me. Most of the stuff looked fine, but a few shelves needed to be fixed. There was a lot to do but with everyone pitching in we should be able to get it done today. What we needed was to get organized. What we needed was a list. Not wanting to use the fancy, expensive paper Clarke sold I wandered into the office and had a seat at her desk. Her chair was awful. I fiddled with the settings and threw away a half eaten granola bar before seeing the yellow legal pad. I was still clutching the list when a knock sounded from the side door. I jogged over to let Lincoln and O in and led them into the store so we wouldn’t wake Clarke.

“Harper could cover?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’ll go over at noon for my spin class and so Lincoln can give her a break but otherwise we’re clear for the day,” said O. “What’s that?”

“Oh, a to-do list Clarke made,” I said, turning the pad away from her.

“She’s up?”

“Not anymore. When I got her she was in her office making a list,” I said. O’s face fell.

“Sorry Bell, I was only gone for like an hour! I didn’t…”

“O, you didn’t do anything wrong. She’s just more stubborn than modern medicine, that’s all. The sleeping pill didn’t stand a chance. But now she knows about bedrest and she’s out like a light,” I said, raising the baby monitor to make sure before clipping it back onto my belt. O gave me a weird look but didn’t say what she was thinking and Lincoln had turned to look at the mess in the store, but not before I caught his face scrunched up in silent laughter. 

“Cut it out! This is a practical solution…”

“Sure Bell, whatever you say,” interrupted O. “What’s on the list.” I clutched it to my chest and took a step back, not wanting to violate Clarke’s privacy any more than I already had. 

“It’s personal O, she was kind of out of it from the sleeping pill when she wrote it,” I said.

“We know her better than you Bell, just give it…”

“Look, if you were the one to find it and tell me it was personal I’d back off,” I said. O snorted.

“Like hell. Just give it here!” she said, taking a step towards me and I held it high above her head, out of reach.

“Enough, you’ll wake Clarke up. We didn’t all take the day off so you two could fight like children, you can do that anytime. If Bellamy says we shouldn’t read the list let’s take his word for it. Bell, just tell us what needs to be done and maybe make a less personal copy for us to work off of?” said Lincoln. As always, I was happy to have him around. We’d really gotten lucky when he’d become part of our family.

“Of course. Do you two mind taking on the studio? I think you’ll have the best idea what to do about the drying rack and weird paint mess. There’s still some lumber in my truck if you need it. Oh, and here,” I rummaged around the bags until I found a packet of bleach wipes and spray before handing them to O. “She’s freaked out at the thought of him touching everything. Can you get the railings on the way up and I’ll work on that list?” O nodded and they made their way upstairs. I sank down at the desk and pulled the two pages of Clarke’s list off the legal pad before starting a new one.

Clarke 

The next time I woke up I did just sink back into bed with a groan and maybe a curse or two. I was so sore. And tired, how was I still so tired? Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs at a fast pace and soon Bellamy was standing awkwardly at the door, watching me as I tried to find a comfortable position.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes searching me intently.

“Yeah, fine,” I lied.

“Clarke, I heard you swearing. What’s wrong?” Huh, I hadn’t realized I’d been so loud.

“I’m a bit sore, that’s all,” I said, pushing a pillow behind my back and leaning into it.

“Where? What’s sore?” asked Bell and I hid my smile. He was kind of adorable like this.

“Just all of my body and most of my mind,” I said. His lip twitched and he finally met my eye.

“Only most of your mind?”

“Yeah, some of it’s still asleep.”

“Well, I’m not qualified to help with the mind thing, but what about your body? Do you want a hot water bottle? Or maybe some tiger balm, I could rub you down,” he said.

“You want to rub me down?” I asked, no longer fighting my smile. Bellamy didn’t notice as he nodded solemnly. 

“Of course, it it’ll help with your…”

“You’re offering to rub me down and claiming to be qualified when it comes to my body?” I asked and he finally picked up on my teasing, his ears turning pink.

“That’s…”

“I mean, I can think of better times to proposition me,” I said. Bell’s eyes darkened and his smirk made goosebumps pop up on my neck.

“Good to know. Oh, and as I recall, I’m extremely qualified when it comes to your body,” he said, his voice thick with meaning. Suddenly I was the one blushing, but the moment passed when a loud groan was heard from downstairs followed up by a couple of people calling Bellamy gross.

“Is that O and Lincoln?” I asked. “How did they hear us?”

“Oh, shit! The baby monitor,” Bell said, unhooking it from his belt and scrambling to switch it off.

“You were using the baby monitor on me?” I asked, mostly amused but also a touch creeped out.

“Ah, I thought… I didn’t want to hover, but I did want to know when you woke up in case you needed something,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“That’s sweet Bell, but the baby is fine. You don’t need to worry…”

“I know. It’s not the baby I was worried about Clarke,” he said. I felt my cheeks heat up again and was at a loss for words, but I think the grin I felt on my face may have spoken for me. “So what’s going to make you feel better?”

“Um, some work? I know I’m on bedrest, but…”

“No buts. Nyko will pop by in a couple of hours, until then his orders are no work. What about a bath? Or Netflix? Or food?”

“Am I going crazy or do I smell waffles?” I asked.

“Ah, yeah. I have some keeping warm in the oven. How did you smell them from here?” he asked, ducking out of the room.

“Pregnancy super powers. How did you know I was craving waffles?” I asked. Bell popped back in carrying a plate piled high with waffles, berries and whipped cream in one hand and my laptop in the other.

“Ah, expectant father super powers?” he said, shooting me a quick grin before pulling up my Netflix on the laptop. He didn’t make fun of any of the admittedly poor choices I’d made lately before pulling up Brooklyn 99.

“I like this show,” I said, scootching over so there was room for him in the bed. He hesitated for a minute before sitting next to me a bit stiffly while I dug into the waffles, somehow managing not to moan at how good they were. The vibe in the room was weird enough right now, I didn’t need to make it weirder.

“Yeah, I like it too. I mean, it’s no Ghost Hunters, but…” he trailed off and it came flashing back. Waffles, Ghost Hunters…

“You found my list,” I said, taking another bite so I wouldn't have to talk for a bit.

“Um, I did. Yes. Sorry, I know parts of it were personal but I’d already finished reading it by the time I realized that. Besides, it was really helpful. For example, waffles,” he said, shooting me a charming smirk. “You know the part about things being weird with us?” I nodded, taking way longer than necessary to chew. “Well, you’re right. We haven’t quite found our rhythm yet. But maybe we could do this,” he gestured to folded up piece of paper he’d pulled from his pocket and smoothed out to reveal my list with his additions, or corrections, in red. You could take the professor out of the classroom...

“So you want me to give you lists?” I asked. He was so earnest that I didn’t want to tease him but I was pretty confused.

“Yeah, exactly!” he said, his eyes lighting up and his posture finally relaxing. “Think of all the fights we could have avoided if you just told me in explicit terms exactly what you needed when you needed it. Clarke, this could solve everything!” he said. 

It was a struggle, a real struggle, not to point out the flaws in this plan, number one being him taking anyone’s orders, but I held back. Somehow. I think it was a combination of his earnest eyes and the fact that he’d almost lost our son last night, too.

“What about what you want?” I asked, taking another bite of my waffles. Bellamy looked confused. “Bell we’re both in this, for lack of a better term, relationship. Co-parenting situation? I don’t know what to call it exactly, but it’s not about me or the baby, it’s all of us.”

“Right, so you need to let me help out and contribute,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

Damn, brought down by my own logic.

“Yes. It’s hard for me, Bell,” I admitted.

“I get it,” he said.

“I’ll try to work on it, but I’m not giving you to-do lists. I think we should try communicating verbally first?” I suggested. Bellamy laughed softly and stole a berry off of my plate.

“Maybe, but this is working! Look, I got so much done” he said waving the list around. “For example number 31 ‘Google jobs where you don’t have to leave house or wear pants and can eat waffles all day.’ The answer is artist, so I assume you’re doing it wrong?” I laughed and dropped my head to his shoulder, trying not to overthink it when he put his arm around me.

“I have a few old professors to write,” I joked back.

“I did actually accomplish some stuff though. The glass is cleaned up and your bedding is in the dryer so in a bit you can move back to your own bed and watch Netflix on TV. Oh, and I brought some bleach wipes and spray. It’s not a bleach bomb but I think it’s a close as we can get unless we want to give Raven and Monty full reign?” I shuddered “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Oh, and Raven called your Mom and Miller called Monty last night. He’s been around but you’ve been sleeping and your mom is on her way. I found your phone, it’s charging. And the whole chimney thing? I think it’s fine, looks filled in and Marcus is going to swing by later so we can pick his brain about it. He remembers when the rennos were done and I think he’s looking for an excuse to see your mom,” said Bellamy.

“I don’t think I’m in a place to deal with that right now. Or ever,” I half joked, then pulled back a bit so I could see Bellamy’s face. “Thank you for your help Bell, you’ve gotten so much done this morning. I’m impressed.” Bell beamed back at me before tamping it down and shrugging.

“That’s like half of it. Lincoln and O are fixing the drying rack and cleaning up the studio. Unfortunately they have no idea what to do about the paint glob either so you might just have to live with it. Raven is fixing your shelves downstairs and Monty is sorting through all of the stuff that got knocked down. Lexa and Miller took care of your insurance stuff this morning before they headed into work late, they’ll stop by tonight to go everything with you. Judging by the look in her eye Lexa got them to take care of you,” said Bellamy, but I didn’t look up to meet his smile that time. I kind of just sat there frozen while a million different things went through my brain.

“Clarke? What’s wrong?” he asked. I was too overwhelmed to answer and could only shake my head. “Talk to me, Clarke. Remember the whole verbal communication thing? This will only work if you stop pushing me away. Do you want to write a list?” I shook my head and dug deep to find my words.

“I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. It’s nice, it’s so nice, that everyone is helping but…”

“But it sucks to need help?” Bell guessed and I nodded.

“Yeah, I felt like that when my mom left,” he said.

“Yeah. Like it’s bad enough that I got myself in this mess but not even being able to clean it up myself is kind of humiliating,” I said. Bellamy was quiet for a minute, absorbing my words and keeping his arm tight around me.

“I get what you’re saying, it’s just that I disagree about you getting yourself into this. This is on Finn. And me and Miller for not hearing you out…”

“No,” I said. Bellamy looked like he was going to interrupt so I shot him a glare. “If I’d been able to put my pride aside for a few minutes…”

“No, I should’ve listened to you…”

“Even if I had and you had, what else could we have done?” I asked after a moment of silence. “Really? This is on Finn and it’s over now.” Bellamy scooped the half eaten plate of waffles off my lap and put it on the bedside table before pulling me closer. 

“Yeah, it’s over now and you’re fine. You’re both fine,” he said. We snuggled deeper into the bed, laying down with my head on Bellamy’s shoulder and our arms around each other until I began to drift off, feeling warmer and lighter than I had in months.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and some light angst when Abby and Jaha show up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! I don't know what to say, writer's block isn't great. But I'm back! I have the rest of this fic planned out and a new fluff-tastic one outlined. To prevent any future burnout on my part I'll be updating once a week, aiming for Saturday or Sunday.

**Bellamy**

 

I woke up slowly, warmer and more content than I could remember waking up in a long time, maybe ever. The first thing I noticed was that Clarke was still curled up with her head on my chest and one of her legs hooked on mine. My arms were wrapped around her and one of my hands was resting on the hard bump of her belly. The second thing I noticed was that her hair was tickling my nose and only a few seconds away from making me sneeze and ruining our peaceful moment. Trying my best not to wake her, I tried to use my chin to move the golden curls away from my nose. The movement jostled Clarke and she snuggled into me, nestling her face into my neck and melting the last part of my heart that wasn’t already mush at having woken up with her in my arms.

The movement had taken her curls from their dangerously close position to my nose and I let my eyes close again, the feeling of contentment I had holding Clarke close lulling me back to sleep.

That’s when the sound of a helicopter filled the room. Wait, helicopter? In Arkadia?

Clarke buried herself further into my neck and wrapped her arms around me more tightly.

“Turn it off,” she complained, her breath warm on my neck. I took a minute to compose myself and ignore what she was doing to my body.

“Turn off the helicopter Princess?” I asked lightly. Clarke pulled back enough to blink sleepily at me.

“A helicopter?” she asked.

“That’s what it sounds like,” I said. 

“Weird,” she said, snuggling into my shoulder.

“Yeah, who files a helicopter in Arkadia?” I agreed mindlessly, trying to sound unaffected by the fact that she was just as cuddly awake as she’d been in her sleep. The sound of the helicopter got louder and passed over us before it cut out at what sounded like the beach about a block away. Clarke sat up abruptly and shot me a panicked look.

“Shit! It’s my mom and Uncle Theo!” she said. I sat up too.

“As in Senator Thelonious Jaha? That ‘Uncle Theo’?” I asked. Clarke nodded and I sprang out of the bed, grabbing the dirty dishes from our breakfast and throwing them in the sink, mindlessly tidying up as I made my way back to the room. Clarke was trying to get up but stopped when she saw me there. “Should I go let them in?” I asked, running a hand through my hair that had grown to a crazy volume during our short nap. Footsteps echoed on the stairwell followed by a vaguely familiar woman’s voice calling out Clarke’s name.

“Too late,” she said, her panicked eyes meeting mine before her Mom and a man I can only describe as a walking tornado entered the apartment. I met Abby’s hard glare and pointed to where Clarke lay in bed before she could start in on me. There would be plenty of time for her to list my personal failing later. 

On TV Senator Jaha always seemed cool and collected, the kind of man you wanted to be in charge. In real life he prowled around the apartment with more energy that Octavia had expended as a child, taking in the entire floor, pausing only to take in the hole in the wall by the nursery and the box of mirror shards I hadn’t thrown out yet. He was back inside the guest room before Abby had stopped hugging her daughter.

“Mom, I’m okay. Really,” said Clarke and Abby finally pulled away, wiping her eyes with a small handkerchief the Senator handed her.

“Clarke,” he said by way of greeting, his eyes taking in every bruise on her face.

“Uncle Theo,” she said. “Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t call. My phone died.”

“It’s alright Clarke, I was in a surgery for most of last night and Raven got a hold of me as soon as I got out this morning. Theo was kind enough to give me a ride up here as soon as we heard what happened.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said, shooting the Senator a smile that would have been a lot more charming without all of the bruises.

“Of course Clarke. You know I’m always here if you need anything,” he said genuinely, the warmest and stillest he’d been since entering the apartment. Then he shot me a quick appraising look that let me know I didn’t measure up. “I suppose this is the boy then?” Clarke blushed and shot me an apologetic look.

“This is Dr. Bellamy Blake, he’s a history professor at ArkU. Bellamy, this is Senator Thelonious Jaha,” said Abby, sounding almost like she was defending me. Clarke and I shared a quick, confused glance before I shook Jaha’s hand. It wasn’t one of those cliche standoff handshakes where two alpha male types try to crush each other, but it wasn’t your normal introduction handshake either.

“Pleasure to meet you, Senator,” I said.

“And you, Mr. Blake,” he replied, purposefully ignoring my honorific. I pretended not to notice because I honestly didn’t care and because he was Clarke’s family. 

“Well, if you ladies will excuse me I’ll just pop over to the police station and make sure that this is all being wrapped up as quickly as possible,” Jaha said and was out of the room before any of us had really heard what he was saying.

“It’s already wrapped up!” Clarke called after him but his heavy footsteps continued to thunder down the hallway. Clarke made to sit up and I shot her a pleading glance, she needed to stop doing that until Nyko gave her the okay.

“Bedrest, Clarke. I’ve got it,” I said, heading down the stairs after the Senator who I was starting to think might be a bit insane. O and Lincoln weren’t in the studio when I glanced in, then I remembered that they’d be back covering the gym. I found Jaha in the store speaking with Marcus and Miller, trying to throw his weight around to solve a problem that didn’t exist. Miller ground his teeth, his annoyance pretty obvious to see but Marcus handled the situation like a champ, assuring Jaha the case had already been closed.

“Alright, then what about the insurance company?” asked the Senator.

“That’s handled as well, sir. They’ll be covering the full cost of repairs as well as the cost of having the store closed for one week,” said Miller.

“Impressive work Nathan,” said Abby, I moved aside so she could enter the room.

“Thank you Abby, but it was all Lexa,” said Miller with a gleam in his eye. I couldn’t wait to hear the full story later.

“Very good,” said Jaha, looking around the room. Things here were all under control, paint was drying on the repaired shelves and Monty obviously had a system for sorting out all of the merchandise that had been scattered around the room. “You’ve all done very well here. I’ll just go say my goodbyes to Clarke and head back to work then. You’ll get home alright Abby?”

“She can catch a lift with me tomorrow,” offered Monty and Jaha nodded before bounding up the stairs again. When he was out of sight the whole room deflated, taking a minute to calm down again.

“I’m sorry about that, Theo can be a bit… intense. Clarke and I are the only family he has left now. Thank you all so much for helping Clarke out, I really appreciate it,” she said. Raven and Monty came and gave Abby a big hug before catching her up on the last day or so while Miller, Marcus and I watched.

“So that was…” started Miller.

“Intense,” finished Kane.

“Yeah. He called me a boy,” I said quietly. Miller laughed and Marcus shot me an amused look.

Footsteps pounded down the staircase again and Jaha burst into the room, giving Abby a brief hug and peck on the cheek before saying goodbye. Before the rest of us had caught our breath the sound of the helicopter once again filled our ears.

“I’m going to check on Clarke,” I said, once the sound of my voice could be heard again. “Dinner should be ready by 5ish and O was going to pick up some sandwiches on her way back.” Everyone nodded and I looked back to see Kane chatting up Abby and exchanged a curious look with Miller. Was that a thing?

When I got upstairs Clarke was once again trying to get out of bed.

“C’mon Clarke, work with me here,” I grumbled.

“I have to pee Bell!” she said and I gave her a hand up and tried to escort her to the bathroom before she drove me off with a glare. I grabbed the laundry from the dryer and was making her bed by the time she got out, not realizing she was watching me at first.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” she said. I came over and put my hand on her waist, wanting to feel close. I always wanted to feel close to her.

“We’ve talked about this, remember? Let me do my thing,” I said softly and kissed her on the forehead before finishing the bed. Then I helped her in and handed her the remote for the bedroom TV and headed to the kitchen to get the chili started. I was blinking from the onions I’d cut when Abby and Marcus came upstairs.

“Bellamy,” said Kane and I looked over.

“It’s the onions,” I said. Kane’s lip twitched but Abby was back to being stoic.

“Sure. Want to go have a look at the roof? I have a meeting in 20 minutes,” said Kane.

“What’s wrong with the roof?” asked Abby.

“Nothing, I think. Clarke was worried about the chimney up there since she doesn’t have any fireplaces so Marcus said he’d come take a look. I think it’s been filled in but…”

“But it never hurts to take a second look,” finished Kane. 

Abby shot him a smile, her eyes practically glowing at him. “You’ll be back for dinner though, right?”

“Absolutely,” he said, and I had to cough to break their eye contact, it was starting to make me feel really awkward. 

The chimney was fine, totally filled in and there wasn’t an issue with the roof. Except that it was a really creepy place to be after last night. We got out of there as soon as possible and Marcus headed out while I went back to the apartment to find Abby curled up with Clarke, watching some reality show. I let them know the roof was fine and finished making the chili, wanting to let it cook on low for a few hours. I’d started mixing together the dry ingredients for biscuits when Lincoln appeared at the door with three sandwiches and let me know the front door had arrived. I put two of the sandwiches on plates with some veggies on the side and brought them into Clarke’s room with two perriers and some napkins.

“Bell,” said Clarke, looking at the plates more fondly than she looked at me but I decided not to take it personally.

“I hope you don’t have any allergies. You’re not a vegetarian, are you?” I asked Abby while Clarke tried to fit half the sandwich into her mouth at once. Abby shot her daughter a disgusted look and shook her head.

“No allergies, not picky at all. Thanks Bellamy,” she said, taking a dainty bite of her carrot slice.

“Right. Good. Um, the door arrived so I’m going to go install it. There’s an extra sandwich in the kitchen if she’s still hungry, but she hasn’t had any vegetables today so…”

“I’m not a child!” Clarke protested. Speaking with an overly full mouth didn’t exactly bring her point home.

“Sure. Maya also dropped off some homemade chocolate chip cookies, I hid them in that weird bread basket in the kitchen so no one eats them,” I said.

“It’s not weird, it’s pretty,” said Clarke, her mouth finally empty.

“It’s weird because you keep your bread in the fridge. I have some chili cooking, would you mind giving it a stir in about 15 minutes if I’m not back? It’s on low so it should be fine for a while,” I rambled.

“Of course,” said Clarke and I rolled my eyes.

“I’ve got it,” said Abby. 

“Great. Nyko should be by soon for your checkup Clarke, just try to be patient for a bit longer,” I said gently, then took off downstairs, texting Nyko on my way down.

Installing the door took longer than I’d thought and when I got upstairs I found Abby in the kitchen making a salad. I stood there awkwardly for a minute, not sure what to do.

“Come in Bellamy, have a seat,” she pointed to one of the stools on the other side of the island with her knife. “Clarke is napping.” I sat down and tried to be cool.

“Good, she needs it,” I said. Abby met my eye before slicing through a carrot with unnecessary force.

“She does. You seem to be taking good care of her. Today, anyhow,” she said, another chop echoing through the kitchen.

“I’m trying,” I said sincerely.

“For good? Or just because she was attacked last night?” Another loud chop. How was Clarke sleeping through this?

“For good. I’m going to be there for them. Not just the baby, Clarke too,” I said meeting Abby’s eye.

“I hope that’s true,” said Abby.

“It is. I can promise you, but I think you’d prefer I show you,” I said.

“I would. So do that,” she said, chopping the rest of the carrot normally. She reached behind her and handed me the last sandwich before grabbing two beers from the fridge. “Have you eaten today?”

“I… I don’t remember. It’s been a busy day,” I said. Abby smiled and popped the caps off the beer before handing me one.

“Well, eat up. We don’t need two of you on bedrest,” she said. I nodded and dug in, trying my best to remember my table manners even though I was famished.

“I think Nyko just wanted her to rest for once,” I said after a few bites. Abby smirked.

“Yeah, sounds right. She isn’t the easiest to get to sit still. Or to take care of,” she said.

“I like a challenge,” I said and finally got Abby to laugh. After I finished my lunch I fixed the hole in the wall but didn’t paint it because I wasn’t sure about the fumes for Clarke. Nyko came around just before dinner and declared that Clarke could join the rest of us for dinner but needed to take the next day easy, too. Clarke swore and grumbled a bit but agreed soon enough, I think she didn’t want Nyko to change his mind about dinner. 

Everyone came up for dinner and it was a quiet evening, but nice. All of us took a little extra time to just be with each other and remember how lucky we were to have each other. By the end of the night Monty was resting his head on Nathan’s shoulder and the two of them looked so content I took a discrete photo so they could have it down the road. I took another photo  from the kitchen without anyone noticing, wanting to remember this night when we were all together and thankful to have each other in our lives.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Abby meddling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Rest of the chapters will be on time.

Clarke

Waking up together the first time had been an accident. An innocent nap taken when we were both too exhausted to think about any potential complications of sleeping in the same bed. The second time… well, the second time couldn’t really be called an accident. And I really couldn’t regret it as I snuggled into Bellamy even further and watched my bedroom lighten as the sun rose around us, wrapping us in a soft yellow bubble where nothing else existed. Bellamy kissed the top of my head and I realized that he’d been awake for a while too, just enjoying the moment together.

Last night he’d fussed for so long on his way out, making sure we had everything we needed and would be safe for the night, that my Mom had told him to just stay. Then she’d kicked him off the couch, saying it would ruin his back and she was herding us into my room with a wink before I’d even realized what she was up to.

The sound of the coffee maker broke our peaceful moment, quickly followed by a grumble in my stomach and a series of hard kicks from the baby. Bellamy gasped beside me.

“You felt that?” I asked.

“Yeah. It seemed harder than normal?”  
  
“The baby gets cranky when he’s hungry, Bell,” I said.

“Yeah, he gets that from his mom,” he said, the warmth in his eyes taking the sting out of his words. I rolled my eyes and scotched out of bed, less than gracefully.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked, his hand on my back as he helped me up.

“I think I got bigger overnight,” I said, looking at my belly with a frown.

“I thought there was something extra hot about you this morning,” said Bellamy, looking me up and down until I looked away with a slight blush on my face. “I mean it,” he said, coming close to place a hand on my arm and whisper in my ear, “pregnancy suits you, Princess.”

Then he was out of my personal space and we were having breakfast with my Mom. It was nice and really normal right up until they started discussing me like I was a child again.

“I have a class at 11 and office hours until three. I should be able to get back by four,” said Bellamy.

“Monty wants to leave at two, I’ll see if he can push it back,” said Mom.

“Or O could stop by? Wait, I think she has a class at 2,” said Bell.

“It’s two hours, I’ll be fine,” I said.

“You’re on bedrest again Clarke,” reminded Bell.

“So I’ll watch a movie. I’m a grown ass woman, I can take care of myself,” I said with a certain amount of exasperation, but with no heat to my words.

“Yeah, I know,” said Bellamy. “I just…”

“I know,” I finished with a smile, taking his hand over the table. “It’s just a couple of hours.”

“Okay, but I’m coming over right after I’m done on campus,” said Bellamy.

“Then maybe you should go pack a bag this morning,” suggested my Mom. We both looked at her confused. She smiled and shook her head at us.

“I assume you’ll be staying here for the next while Bellamy? It would be easier if you kept some things here instead of rushing back to your place every morning,” she said. And just like that Bellamy had moved in. Temporarily, of course.

#

“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” asked my Mom. I looked over but her eyes were locked on the screen in my bedroom. We’d been watching TV for the last half hour in silence, her questions was totally out of the blue. My first instinct was to blow off her question, but things between us had been so good for months and I didn’t want to risk going back to the way we’d been before.

“I think so,” I said.

“You think so?” her tone was soft but part of me was offended by the questions.

“I… it’s a bit of a confusing time for right now, Mom,” I said.

“Of course. Just…”

“What? You can tell me. I mean, I’m on bedrest so I literally can’t go anywhere,” I said. She smiled and took my hand.

“I just don’t want you missing out on good things because of all the bad things that have happened Clarke. You deserve happiness,” she said. I smiled at her and leaned my head on her shoulder, too overcome to say anything.

#

We settled into a routine surprisingly fast. For the first few days I kept the shop closed and just focused on getting my head back on straight. Bell would go to campus and then come home, usually with groceries or something he’d ordered online for the baby. When I snuck a peak at the boxes they’d come in I saw that the postage was all pretty old and I felt guilty about being so insistent I could do everything on my own. We usually cooked dinner and did dishes together while fighting over what we’d watch that night, but always took turns picking.

It was nice and comfortable.

I was happy.

When I opened the shop back up again things stayed pretty much the same, Bellamy would hang out and work in the shop on nights he got home before I closed up. It was perfect. I should have known it couldn’t last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will be 21 chapters with an epilogue at the end and I'll be updating on Tuesdays and Sundays until everything has been posted. Thanks for sticking with the story! I hope you like the new chapters.


	18. Chapter 18

**Clarke**

Bellamy was a bit late a couple of time the next week. No big deal, I’d just start dinner without him and we’d bicker over dishes and watch TV until I fell asleep on him and he’d wake me up enough for both of us to climb into my bed and in the morning I’d wake up with him spooning me or half on top of him.

Then he was gone all day Saturday. Which was fine. I mean, he should have a life outside of work and watching me work at the shop, right? The part that bugged me was that he didn’t say where he went. Not that I gave him the satisfaction of asking, of course. If he was going to take off all day he could at least tell me why, right? But he didn’t. That night we met Miller and Monty for dinner. They were back together and seemed to be back on track. Of course, I’d known that Monty had never given up his position at the school in Arkadia so I’d been hoping for this the whole time. We had a really nice dinner and ended up staying at the restaurant way later than we’d planned. By the time we finally got home, I was too exhausted to worry about where Bell had been that day and fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. The next morning he was gone when I woke up and still missing when I got back from my prenatal yoga class.

He was obviously seeing someone.

Which, well. I mean, I couldn’t get upset about it. It was none of my business. We weren’t dating. It felt like it because he was staying with me and sleeping in my bed, but we weren’t. So I still didn’t say anything, but shrugged his arm off when he went to put it around me that night.

I could rationalize all I wanted during the day, but at night in my bed with his arm around me the thing between us didn’t feel anything but real and him seeing someone else didn’t feel like anything but a betrayal, fair or not.  

Bellamy sighed when I shrugged him off but didn’t say anything. He just turned around to face the other direction. I didn’t fall asleep for a long time that night, and when I finally woke up Bellamy was gone. He’d left a note letting me know he’d left breakfast warming for me in the oven and that he’d be home late that night.

All day I was in a funk and Raven confronted me about it at lunch.

“Seriously, Clarke, what crawled up your ass and died?” she asked. O looked up from her soup with her eyebrows raised but kept silent, waiting for me to answer.

“Nothing Raven,” I said, rolling my eyes and taking a giant bite of my burger.

“Trouble in paradise? Something wrong with the hubby? Clarke, I know your ‘I-can’t-talk-my-mouth-is-full’ trick and I will damn well wait until your done chewing. Good, now what’s wrong?” she asked. I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile at how well she knew me.

“I’m pregnant and hormonal and tired Raven, and someone keeps interrupting my meal. That’s what’s wrong,” I said, taking another giant bite. Octavia started chatting about something one of the kids she taught had done in class and Raven let it drop, but she kept looking at me like she knew exactly what was going on inside my head.

 

**Bellamy**

 

“She thinks you’re cheating on her,” said Raven, handing me a nail and holding up the other side of the board so I could nail it down.

“What?” I asked, having no idea what she was talking about.

“Clarke, she thinks you’re off screwing around,” she said, grabbing the hammer from me and nailing in her side.

“Why would she think that?” I asked, picking up another board.

“Because you keep taking off with no explanation and before the whole stalking and attempted murder thing, her ex was also a cheater. It’s the first place her mind is gonna go when there’s trouble for a long time. Trust me, I know,” she said, surprisingly sincere and open.

“I… it’s supposed to be a surprise. I don’t want to ruin it,” I said.

“I feel like there’s some middle ground between surprising her and having her think you’re sleeping around and going to take off. I mean, I know you aren’t really together and you could technically sleep with whoever you want without it being cheating…”

“No. It would be. But I’d never,” I took a deep breath to focus. “She’s it for me Raven. You know that.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m talking to you about this instead of rounding Monty up to blow up your car,” she said with a smile, but I knew it wasn’t a joke. Raven was kind of terrifying. “She’s pregnant and hormonal and even without all of the Finn stuff, she has more issues than National Geographic. If you don’t tell her soon you’re going to lose her.”

“That’s what this is,” I gestured around us. “Me telling her.”

#

When I got home that night Clarke was in the studio working with her earbuds in, purposefully looking away when I popped my head in the studio. I sighed and went upstairs, eating the plate she’d left for me and thinking about what Raven had said. I waited up for Clarke for as long as I could keep my eyes open but eventually fell asleep in bed waiting for her.

The next morning I woke up, immediately knowing that the alarm hadn’t gone off and that I’d overslept. The bed next to me was empty and I found Clarke on the couch, still asleep in front of the TV.

“Clarke, wake up,” I said softly, gently rubbing her arm and smiling when she buried her head into her pillow.

“No,” she said.

“Clarke, it’s almost 9:45, you have to open the store in 15 minutes,” I said, and she sat right up. Well, she tried to but the belly got in the way I ended up having to help her. Hopefully her back wouldn’t be sore from sleeping on the couch all night.

“What?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“You fell asleep out here and your phone’s alarm didn’t wake us up,” I said. I saw the moment she remembered why she hadn’t wanted to fall asleep next to me, her eyes hardened and she pulled away before standing up.

“Clarke wait, we need to talk about this,” I said.

“I can’t Bell, I have to open the store like now,” she said.

“Okay, tonight then. At dinner,” I said.

She rolled her eyes and walked to the bathroom. “So you’ll be joining me then?” she asked under her breath.

“Clarke, I…”

“Its fine, Bellamy. We can talk tonight,” she said, closing the door in my face.

Right. Fine. Everything was obviously fine.

 

**Clarke**

 

There was no sign of Bellamy after I closed the shop. So much for talking. Feeling a bit sorry for myself, I ordered take out and hopped into the shower, hoping to get rid of my bad mood. I didn’t have any right to be angry with Bellamy, I told myself as the water helped sooth my tired muscles. Growing a person was hard.

By the time I’d gotten dressed in some comfy pjs I’d managed to talk myself down. Bellamy was free to do whatever he wanted, but if he was seeing someone (or someones) then we needed to set some boundaries. It was probably time for him to move back into Millers. Or into the spare room. As long as he didn’t have her over…

Why the hell was I so jealous?

We’d been together for one night and barley gotten along since. Why was I so bothered by this?

The bell rang and I grabbed my wallet to waddle down and collect my food, surprised when I saw Murphy and Miller holding Bellamy up between them. My first thought was that he was drunk, his head was lolled to one side and he was having trouble standing. Then I saw the bandage on his forehead and the fact that they were all wearing work clothes that were spattered in paint and covered in sawdust.

“What the hell” I asked.

“Long story, let’s get him upstairs,” said Miller. Bellamy beamed at me like an idiot and I watched them half carry him upstairs before turning to follow. The bell rang again before I got to the top and I turned around to collect my food, reaching the apartment as Miller was helping Bellamy sit on a chair and take his boots off.

“What happened?” I asked, moving to look at Bellamy. His eyes were unfocused and he reached out to gently stroke my hair.

“You’re so pretty,” he said. I tried not to smile and turned to Miller and Murphy.

“Well?” I asked. Murphy shrugged and started poking around the take out I’d just hauled up.

“Chinese?” he asked.

“Help yourself, just leave the…”

“Leave the lemon chicken,” everyone said at the same time. Wow, pregnant me was predictable.

“Bell hit his head. Nyko was there and checked him out, he should be fine tomorrow but you’ll need to watch him tonight and he might be a little… off,” said Miller. I looked over at Bellamy staring at me like I was some sort of angel.

“A _little_ off?” I asked.

“He’ll be fine,” said Murphy, bringing in some plates for everyone and dishing up. “We all know how thick his skull is.”

“How did it happen?” I asked, for the first time in months not immediately diving into my food.

“Um… we can’t tell you,” said Miller. I raised an eyebrow and just looked at him.

“Stop impersonating your mom, Clarke. We promised Bell we wouldn’t say,” said Miller.

“Yeah, it’s a secret. My secret project!” said Bellamy.

“Secret project?” I asked, confused. Was this about that girl he was…

“You’re pretty,” said Bellamy again.

“Oh my god,” I mumbled, pacing around the room. “What did Nyko say to do exactly?”

“Just keep an eye on him. I thought since you usually sleep together it would be…”

“She doesn’t like sleeping with me anymore,” said Bellamy. “She’s mad about the secret project.” I rolled my eyes.

“I can bring him home…” started Miller, obviously hearing things between us were strained for the first time.

“No! I’m staying with my Princess. She won’t be mad once she’s sees the secret project Miller, don’t worry,” said Bellamy.

“I’m sorry Clarke, I thought things were…”

“Peachy. Things are just peachy. What did Nyko say?” I asked.

“Keep an eye on him tonight and he should be fine by morning. I really can take him back to my place,” offered Miller.

“That’s okay, I got this. I do expect to hear all about this secret project when he’s better though,” I said.

“She thinks I’m seeing a girl,” Bellamy stage whispered. I shot him a glare, seriously considering smothering him in his sleep. “Just wait till she sees the secret project, then she’ll know the truth.”

“You aren’t going to strangle him tonight, are you?” asked Miller.

“There’s less messy ways to kill someone if it comes to that,” said Murphy with an unsettling smile. “Just don’t google them on your own phone or laptop.”

“Good tip," I told Murphy, then turned to Miller "and I haven’t decided yet. I think you might know me too well now.”

“Well, you’re my boyfriend’s best friend, I’m kinda supposed to. Just… this secret project isn’t a girl. Hell, Bellamy hasn’t even looked at another girl since he moved back,” said Miller.

“What do you want from me here Miller?” I asked, my tone harder than I’d realized. “The last guy who hid things from me turned out to be engaged to someone else and later stalked then tried to murder me.”

“Just… give him a chance. He’s not Finn,” said Miller. I took a deep breath.

“I know. I’ve been trying but it’s been weeks now,” I said. “And my hormones aren’t helping things.”

“Look, if he doesn’t come clean when he’s feeling better I’ll tell you everything, okay?” said Murphy.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Help me get him undressed, whatever you were up to has you all filthy.”

Working together we got a very uncoordinated Bellamy down to his briefs and decided that was good enough to sleep in. I tucked him in and saw the guys out, then put the food away, still not having an appetite. I set my alarm to go off every two hours during the night and slept as far from him on the bed as possible.

When I woke up the last time I was half on top of Bellamy again, practically rubbing myself all over him after a particularly descriptive dream about the two of us having sex in the woods. When I woke up I pulled away, only to have his warm hands hold me close and stroking my back.

“You know Princess, I’m happy to make whatever that dream was about a reality,” Bellamy said, his voice husky with sleep. Deciding there was no need to be embarrassed given the number of times I’d woken up next to his morning wood, I shook my head and willed my body to cool down.

“What makes you think I was dreaming about you?” I asked. Bellamy stroked his hand lower, rubbing my hip and then squeezing my ass gently.

“You talk in your sleep,” he said. “Well, not talk so much as moan. My name, mostly.”

Now I was embarrassed. I hid my head in his shoulder and moaned.

“No, not quite like that. You seemed to be enjoying yourself a lot more,” he said with a small laugh. I looked up and couldn’t help but return his grin as my hand wandered over his stomach and up his throat, then running my fingers through his hair. He flinched slightly at that and everything came rushing back.

“Your head!” I pulled away and sat up, straddling him to look in his eyes. He seemed to be back to normal, but his pupils were blown wide open.

“Fuck Princess,” he said, and then I noticed that he was rock hard underneath me, rubbing up against me and making me wetter than the dream had, so close to where I needed him. I sat there for a moment, my crazy hormones wanting nothing more than to pull down his briefs, pull off my sleep shorts and ride him until we broke the bed.

But I still didn’t trust him.

And he wasn’t just some guy I could have sex with, he was the father of my child and would be in my life probably until I died. I had to do things properly.

“Bell, we can’t,” I said, sitting back and taking a couple of deep breaths.

“I know. I’m sorry, I know,” he said, stroking my face. “Look, what are your plans for tonight?”

“Tonight? I’m crazy pregnant here Bell, my plans were to eat and fall asleep in front of the TV by 8:30,” I said.  He smiled at that, his eyes lit up with a fondness I couldn’t name. Wouldn’t name.

“Okay, then how about I show you my secret project?” he asked. I couldn’t help but be skeptical and shot him a look.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Alright Bellamy,” I said.

“Great! But we should probably eat first, how about we go for dinner?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.

“Perfect, it’s a date! I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“Pick me up? You live here, all of your clothes are here,” I pointed out.

“Not my date clothes. I left those at Millers, I didn’t need them,” he said. “So I’ll see you at 7, for our date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses what the secret project is?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to apologize for this taking so long. Life can get hard sometimes and fun things like writing fanfic get pushed to the back burner. Hope you like this chapter, will post the next one as soon as I'm able to.

**Clarke**

I only had one maternity dress but I’d still managed to try on everything that fit me and few things that didn’t before finally settling on the one option I actually had. Then I had to clean up the mess of clothes I’d made so Bellamy wouldn’t know what a basket case I’d been when we got home.

Would he be coming back with me?

I mean, he kind of lived here. But the implications of coming back after a date were different. Then again, after this morning it kind of seemed like we were both ready to head there. But would it be rushing things?

I laughed out loud when I sat down to start my makeup. I was actually worried about rushing things by having our first date when I was seven months pregnant? By maybe having sex with the guy who’d knocked me up? I needed to calm down.

By the time Bellamy got there I’d managed to chill a bit and was a ready for a date as someone who can no longer see her own feet can be. He used his keys to get in the building but knocked on the door to my apartment. I took one last look in the mirror then answered the door, forgetting how to breathe for a minute when I saw him.

Now, Bellamy always looked good to me, but I’d gotten pretty used to the sweatpants and anime t-shirt wearing Bellamy with glasses and messy hair from snuggling on the couch (it was the best.) So I wasn’t really prepared for date Bellamy. He was wearing dark was jeans I’d never seen him in before, I would have remembered how fitted they were, and a white button up with the sleeves rolled up and the top couple of buttons undone. I raised an eyebrow at the shirt, had he been talking to Raven? A white button up worn like that was a particular favourite of mine. By the time I finally dragged my eyes to meet his Bell was smirking at how I’d obviously been checking him out.

“You look great, Clarke,” he said and my stomach dropped, my nerves worse than they’d been all night.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, turning to find my purse and reconsidering this whole thing.

“Do what?” asked Bellamy, sounding confused. I rolled my eyes and put my purse back down on the counter, not looking at him.

“I know I’m pregnant Bellamy, I know I’m not… look, let’s do this another night, okay?” I said, turning down the hall to my room. What I needed was some sweatpants and Netflix, not pretending everything was normal. Bellamy caught my elbow before I’d made it two steps and stood in front of me, one hand lightly stroking my arm while the other gently stroked my cheek, urging me to look up at him. When I finally did his brown eyes were so full of longing and admiration that my breath stopped.

“I’m well aware of the fact that you’re pregnant, Princess. And I meant what I said, you look great. You always look great, before the baby and now. When you’re wearing paint spattered old clothes, when you’re teaching a class, when you’re asleep on my chest. In fact, knowing that you’re carrying my baby makes you even more beautiful to me and it’s on me that I haven’t let you know that every day, because you feeling insecure is something I can’t handle,” he said.

I had no reply, what could I say after that? And he was standing so close to me, his hand brushing my neck now and the other one on my hip. We came together almost without thinking, our lips lightly brushing at first and then the kiss deepened, his teeth playfully nipped my lower lip before slipping his tongue in my mouth. By the time we pulled away we were both breathing deeply and flushed.

“So dinner?” he asked. I nodded with a smile and took his hand.

The restaurant we went to was outside of the downtown core when I’d spent most of my time and I was lost before I knew it.

“Not that I get out much either, but you do know there’s more to Arkadia than the bulk store, downtown and the beach, right?” teased Bellamy.

“Honestly, I had no idea town was this big. Where are you taking me, Bell?” I asked.

“What’s with your one woman crusade against surprises Clarke?” he asked.

“I have nothing against surprises, Bellamy, I just…” I trailed off, having no idea how to finish the sentence without lying. Surprises were the worst. He laughed and reached over to take my hand.

“Just trust me here, okay Princess? You’re going to love it,” he promised. I nodded and sat back in my seat. When we got to the restaurant I looked over at Bellamy but he didn’t seem to see anything wrong with the broken down, shabby building or poorly lit parking lot, so I guessed we were in the right place. Hoping for the best, I followed him inside and caught my breath.

The outside of the restaurant may have been a bit shabby but inside was gorgeous. Romantic lighting, tables that were far enough away from each other that you could have a private conversation and staff that was attentive but knew when to give you a moment. It was the perfect date spot.

Dinner was easy. The food was delicious, talking to Bellamy came as naturally as always and before I knew it we were back in the car laughing and I’d forgotten all about Bell’s secret project. Then he pulled a blindfold out of his pocket and quirked an eyebrow at me.

“Bell, your secret project isn’t a weird sex thing, is it? Cause I gotta tell ya, the third trimester is not the time for trying new things. I mean, we can talk about it later, but…” Bellamy cut me off by lightly putting a finger on my lips.

“Believe me, I’ll keep that in mind Princess,” he said, his voice a little huskier than usual. “But no, this is not ‘a weird sex thing’, it’s a surprise. You know, I never took you for one to kink shame,” he said with smirk on his face.

“That was hardly kink shaming, I’m just…”

“I’m teasing you. Now are you going to let me blindfold you or not?” he asked. I nodded and he slowly slipped the blindfold on me, talking every opportunity to let his fingers graze my ear, his breath fall heavy on the sensitive part of me neck. When he was finally done securing the blindfold and teasing me, Bellamy double checked my seat belt was secure and drove off at what I could tell was an excessively slow speed with one hand resting reassuringly on my knee, then traveling further and further up my thigh and under my dress until I’d forgotten all about the surprise. When his fingers finally brushed my lower lips through my underwear my back arched and my head hit the seat behind me.

“Bell…” I breathed, not even sure what I was asking for. I felt the car pull over and stop before Bellamy leaned over and whispered into my ear.

“Sorry, Princess, we’re here. And I don’t think you want me to continue in front of an audience. I promise I’ll make it up to you later,” he said, then unclicked my seat belt. “Stay here.” I heard his door close and then mine open, this his strong hand took mine and I stood up, letting him lead me a few feet before we stopped. The night air was cool on my face and Bell’s hand was warm in mine. I could smell the ocean in the air, and Bell’s cologne and a bit of my own shampoo.

“Are you ready for your surprise?”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The surprise! 
> 
> Heads up, this chapter gets pretty NSFW so you may not want to read it at work. Or maybe you do. I don't know your life! You do you.

Clarke

“Dammit Bellamy, of course I’m ready! Just tell me already!” I demanded, feeling the low rumble of his laugh in my back where he held me, his arms circling my waist and resting on my stomach.

“Are you sure Princess?” he asked and I shuffled from one foot to the other impatiently.

“Seriously Bell, if you don’t get to it pretty soon….” he laughed again and kissed my neck, effectively cutting off my threat and making me forget what we were arguing about while my head rolled back and I enjoyed him sucking lightly on my pulse point.

“I love getting you worked up,” he said softly, his breath ghosting against the shell of my ear and making me shiver with want. Then his hands traveled up my sides and reached for the knot on the blindfold behind my head, slowly untying it and slipping it off of me. Then he took my hand and stood there quietly, letting me take in the adorable yellow two story house with white trim before us. It was perfect and the for sale sign in the front had a recently sold banner over it.

“You… you bought a house,” I said.

He was moving out.

“I did,” he beamed at me and continued on in such an excited voice that the smile I put on for his was almost real. “It’s two blocks from your work, three blocks from the elementary school and kitty corner my sister’s house,” said Bellamy. I looked down the street and sure enough, Lincoln and Octavia’s house was right there. And they seemed to be watching us from the front window, along with the rest of our friends. Everyone waved and I waved back, a bit weirded out but wanting to be polite.

“C’mon!” he said, dragging me through the front door. “It’s still a work in progress. I wanted to show you the finished thing but… well this is probably better, you can make sure I don’t mess up paints and stuff,” he said.

Why would he want my help decorating his house? That was kind of weird. Then again, Octavia was the same way. Maybe it was a Blake thing?

Bellamy dragged me passed a large living room and into the kitchen. He was right about it not being finished, there were no appliances and it seemed one wall had recently been torn down to combine the kitchen and dining room but I could see how it was going to look and it was pretty great.

“This kitchen is going to be really cool,” I said, trying to smile again. I was happy for him, really. And of course I knew he wouldn’t be staying with me permanently.

It was just hormones.

“Right? Come upstairs, it’s mostly finished,” he said, pulling me up the relatively short staircase and into the master bedroom where a full set of furniture was set up, including a fully made bed. Was he moving out like now? I turned to him and he shrugged.

“I thought it was time to move my stuff out of O’s, give Lincoln his studio back, you know?” he said. Great, not only was Bellamy leaving but I wouldn’t get to see Lincoln at my studio any more. “We can change the furniture if you don’t like it, I just wanted a couple of rooms to look like it was a real house, you know?” I nodded but had no idea what he was talking about and passively let him lead me across the hall into a smaller bedroom looking over the backyard. There was something very familiar about it, the colours…

“I wanted it to be the same as the nursery at your place,” he explained, and I recognized the colour scheme at once. “I thought the crib could go here,” he said, dropping my hand and walking over to gesture to a space across the room. I could see it, it was perfect. Our son would be so happy here. But how would it work? He’d live here one week and at my place the next? Did Bellamy even want to keep dating me? What the hell had tonight been?

“Are you okay?” he asked, and I realized I was tearing up. So I smiled and nodded.

“Hormones,” I explained, taking a deep breath. “Nursery,” I said by way of explanation and he bought it, taking me in his arms and placing a chaste kiss on my forehead.

“Better?” he asked and I nodded. “Great, I want to show you where I banged my head.” Bellamy led me downstairs again and out the back door to a tree house in the large oak in the back corner of the yard. It smelled like sawdust and looked brand new and from the proud expression on his face I knew Bellamy had recently built it.

“You built this?” I asked and he beamed nodding at me and running his hands over the ladder.

“It’s probably not a good idea now, but I’ll bring you up there after. And it’s safe, the thing held Miller, Murphy, Lincoln and I no problem so it’ll be fine for Father-Son sleepovers in a few years on warm summer nights,” he said with a small, wistful smile.

And that was it, the moment I realized I was in love with him.

“He’s going to be so lucky to have you as his dad,” I said. Bellamy blinked at me for a few minutes before beaming at me and taking my hard to pull me through the backyard to the garage.

“I think you’ll like this part,” he said, dropping my hand so he could go into the dark garage and find the light. The sound of a cord being pulled filled the room and the harsh light from a swinging bare bulb lit up the garage. It was a pretty standard garage, pegboard walls and a cement floor, Bellamy’s tools neatly stacked in one corner. But the middle of the room is where it got interesting. A battered rug covered up the floor and an easel with a blank canvas was placed on it.

“What?” I asked.

“Obviously we’ll need to do something about the lighting, maybe add a couple of windows? And my tool are only here temporarily, we can get a shed or convert the basement into a workroom or something. This will be your space,” he said.

“Huh?” I asked, so confused.

“So you can have a place to paint here,” he said, a confused look on his face now too.

“But why would I want to come to your house to paint?” I asked. Bellamy’s eyes lit up in a playful grin.

“Well, some nights you might not feel like going to the studio,” he said in a teasing tone. Still not getting it, I decided to play along.

“And why’s that?” I asked.

“Because some days you just want to stay home,” he said, coming to stand right in front of me.

“Home?” I asked in disbelief.

“Home,” he answered.

“As in, you want me to live here? With you?” I asked, trying not to get my hopes up.

“Or in your building, I like it there. I just thought it might be easier here once the baby comes, with no stairs and the backyard. But if you want your building then that’s where we’ll live. Or in Pollis if you want. As long as we’re together, that’s the whole point,” he said. I felt hot tears spilling down my face and Bellamy held back, knowing I wasn’t ready for him to touch me just yet.

“I thought you were moving out,” I said.

“Why would I ever want to live someplace you weren’t?” he asked. Then I was laughing with joy for a second before pressing my lips to his and pulling him to me for deep kiss that had us both panting for breath.

“Bell? Clarke? Where the hell are you?” called Octavia, walking in on us and immediately shielding her eyes. “No! I don’t need to see that!”

“Then learn to knock, O,” said Bellamy, smiling into my hair.

“Whatever. Look, we’re all in the kitchen with take out and drinks as a housewarming, come and join us when you’re decent,” she said, her hand still over her eyes as she fumbled her way out of the garage. I laughed and snuggled into Bellamy’s chest for a minute before we went inside to join our friends.

Dinner was great and I thanked our friends for all they’d already done to help with the house, not believing how they’d managed to keep such a big secret for a few weeks. They didn’t stay long, probably picking up on the hungry glances Bellamy and I kept throwing each other when we thought no one was watching.

The second they were out the door Bellamy shot me a smoldering, heavy lidded look that had me weak in the knees.

“Where were we?” he asked, walking slowly into my personal space. My mouth was suddenly dry, it seemed that all of the moisture in my body was needed a bit lower and I couldn’t speak. Bell was kissing my neck and I felt my head hit the wall behind me with a thud we both heard causing us to laugh and break the moment.

“How about we move this to the bedroom?” I asked, suddenly finding my voice. At Bellamy’s shocked expression I took his hand and led him into the master bedroom where he’d carefully set up his old bed. He was still staring at me in a weird, slack jawed sort of way so I shrugged off my sweater and kicked off my shoes. That got a bit of interest from him and he watched with a steadily growing smirk as I slowly lifted up my dress and dropped it on the ground beside me.

“Fuck Princess,” he muttered, looking me up and down like I was the best thing he’d ever seen.

“Yes, do that,” I said, opening my arms for him. He came to me immediately, all hesitation gone and kissed me like I’d been waiting for since that first night seven months ago. His hands seemed to be everywhere and before I knew it my bra was off and he was lowering me onto the bed.

“Is… I don’t know how to say this properly, but did your breasts…”

“They’re bigger. And more sensitive, so be careful,” I said. He looked at me with that familiar smirk and a twinkle in his eye. Then his kissed his way down my neck to my chest and teased my right breast with his tongue, circling my nipple but never quite delivering while his hand palmed my other side.

“Bellamy,” I whispered. Finally he swiped my nipple with his tongue before latching on, mimicking his actions on the other side with his hand. Between his mouth and his fingers I felt like my body was on fire and after only a couple of minute my back arched and my muscles froze, my sudden orgasm taking us both by surprise.

“Fuck…” said Bellamy.

“Hormones…” I said by way of explanation, bringing my hands up to cover my face in embarrassment. Bellamy was quick to follow them, slowly prying my hands away so he could look in my eyes.

“Clarke, that was so fucking hot I can’t even… please don’t be embarrassed. I loved it,” he said.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Absolutely. Now, how about we see about round 2?” Before I could answer he was working his way down my neck and chest, circling my extended stomach and kissing my hip. He worked his way down one knee and back up my inner thigh, teasing my center and nuzzling my other thigh.

“Bellamy,” I breathed.

  
“Yes Clarke,” he said, biting under one of my knees.

“Stop teasing,” I said, throwing my head back on the pillow in frustration. Of course Bellamy would make this difficult.

“What do you want me to do Clarke?” he asked, his breath ghosting over my lips through my underwear.

“God Bell, I want…”

“Tell me, Princess,” he said, his breath hot on my center.

“I want you to eat me out again. I want your fingers inside of me,” I said.

“As you wish,” he said, pulling my underwear down my thighs and off of my feet. He quickly worked his way back up and threw one of my legs over his shoulder before pressing a kiss over my closed lower lips. Then he used one of his hands to part my lower lips and licked a strip all of the way up me before circling my clit in slow and careful strokes. One of my hands found its way into his hair and the other desperately clenched the sheets below me. Bellamy tore his tongue away from my clit and worked through my lips before inserting it inside of me again and again until my breath was so ragged I couldn’t recognize it. Then he made his way back up to my clit and slowly circled it with his tongue while one finger worked its way inside of me. My breath was becoming laboured, slow and desperate pants interspersed with hoarse callings of his name while all of my consciousness was focused on his tongue and his finger. Then another finger worked its way inside of me, hooking to hit that special place inside of me while he sucked my clit into his mouth, working it with his tongue and quickly working me into oblivion.

“Bellamy, I’m coming. Please don’t stop,” I called amid various gasps and moans that would be sure to catch my neighbour’s interest before my back arched off of the bed and the muscles in my thighs froze as a second orgasm ripped through me. Bellamy slowly detached his fingers and his tongue, working me through my orgasm and making sure I got every ounce of pleasure from it possible. When he finally looked back at me his expression was smug and I couldn’t help but laugh from joy.

“That was amazing,” I said while he worked his way up me to kiss me. I enjoyed the taste of myself on his lips as much as I enjoyed his hardness against my hip.

“Clarke…” he said, rubbing himself against me.

“What do you want Bell? My mouth or…” I asked and he nudged himself against my crotch.

“Shit!” he said suddenly.

“What?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“I didn’t bring a condom. Fuck!” he said, burying his face in my shoulder.

“Are you clean?” I asked. He looked at me, his eyes wide. Even when we’d conceived we’d been using protection.

“Yes, of course. I got tested after Gina just in case,” he said.

“Okay. And I got tested after Finn. You’re the only one I’ve been with since then so…” I said, drifting off. Admitting you hadn't slept with anyone since your ex when they clearly had sucked, even if they’d just made you come. Twice.

“Fuck, that’s so hot Princess,” said Bellamy, stroking my face and making me forget about our awkwardness. He kissed me, deep and thoroughly enough to make me forget about everything else. Then he brought himself to me entrance and looked at me for permission. I nodded and reached down to guide him in with my fingers, gasping the second he was inside me.

It had been moths since I’d had sex, and I hadn’t even gotten off before tonight since Bellamy had moved in so him finally being inside of me was a big deal. He entered me slowly, inch by inch and soon I felt stretched beyond belief.

“Fuck Clarke, you’re so tight,” he breathed into my ear and kept slowly pumping in and out of me until I felt he familiar building of tension in my lower stomach.

“Fuck Bell, please don’t stop,” I breathed, never wanting this feeling to stop. Why did I ever do anything else but fuck Bellamy?

I came soon after, so hard that I saw stars and Bellamy followed within minutes, calling my name. We lay there catching our breath and coming down for a few minutes before cleaning up and deciding to just sleep there for the night. Our first night in our new house.

“Bell,” I said as we were drifting off. He mumbled and clenched me to his chest tighter than before. “Bell, listen.” He rubbed his hands across his eyes and pulled back enough to look at me.

“Bellamy, I never said… I love the house. I want this. I want you,” I said. Bellamy beamed at me and crushed me to his chest.

“I love you too, Princess.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last three chapters up now.

_About two months later_

**Clarke**

It was moving day. Bell’s house, our house, was finally finished and ready for us to live in. Of course it had taken a bit longer than expected and I was now four days overdue and trying to remember what my feet looked like and what it felt like to not have to go to the bathroom all of the time. I was sitting on the front porch with my feet up while Bell and all of our friends were moving the rest of my stuff in. I’d wanted them to wait until the baby came and I could help, but no one had really listed to me about that. And I was getting better with accepting help. Slowly.  

Lexa and her girlfriend, Costia, walked up carrying a dresser between them, laughing over an inside joke and looking happier than I’d ever seen them. I was pretty sure it was only a matter of time before they moved in together and I was thrilled for them.

Anya and Raven walked up next carrying a chair and bickering, but shooting each other adoring looks the whole time. They had stopped denying they were a couple about a month ago and last week when I’d called Anya Raven’s galpal she hadn’t objected. For a long time it had seemed like Raven would never be able to open herself up again, seeing her happy meant everything to me. So much that I was even starting to warm to Anya.

Monty and Miller came by next with a couch. Of course those two were doing well, Monty had officially moved in last month.

Lincoln walked by carrying a cushy chair and Octavia followed with a bag of throw pillows. She hadn’t said anything yet, but for the last couple of weeks she hadn’t been touching alcohol or caffeine, and today she hadn’t lifted a single heavy thing. It was taking almost all of my energy not to say something, but I was pretty sure that my son would have a cousin soon.

Murphy hadn’t wanted to help move, but he was coming by later with some pizza for everyone.

Mom was running a bit late. She’d been in town for about a week or so but she’d spent last night at Marcus’s house. They were happy together and I was happy for them. Mostly. It was kind of weird seeing my Mother with someone other than Dad, but I was honestly just relieved that she wasn’t sad anymore. She’d even gone to visit the hospital here. It wouldn’t be as challenging as her current job, but she was looking for something that would let her have more time with her grandkid.

“Clarke! Get in here, we don’t know where to put this stuff,” hollered Raven and I struggled to get to my feet for a few minutes before Bell came out and helped me up. When I was finally upright I grinned at him and kissed him.

“I love you,” I said with a smile. He returned my smile and kissed me again. “Love you more,” he said and we made our way into the kitchen where Raven was standing in the middle of several opened boxes.

“Okay Clarkey, why don’t you have a seat and tell me where to put it all?” she suggested and Bell left to grab me a chair but I stopped him as an odd pain seized my stomach, like a charlie horse hitting my entire abdomen at once.

“Clarke?” asked Bellamy, his voice worried. I wanted to reassure him but all I could do was focus on the weird pain. Then came another sharp pain and a rush of warm liquid gushed down between my legs.

“Ewww!” said Raven, taking a large step back from me.

“Clarke, are you okay?” asked Bellamy and I looked up at him. The pain was fading and I was terrified and excited at the same time.

“Bell, it’s time.”


	22. Chapter 22

_Two Weeks Later_

**Clarke**

Bellamy was stretched out on the couch with little Jake curled up on his chest, both of them asleep with the same peaceful expression on their faces. I’d never been happier.

I was sitting on the chair across from the sketching the scene, planning a painting for later and leaving notes about how I thought I could mimic the sunlight that pooled in from the window and surrounded them like a halo.

Eventually I had to get up and move. I was pretty well recovered from the delivery, but sitting in one place for too long was still an issue. I made my way over to an open box sitting on an end table and opened it up. On top was a sheet of yellow paper with my messy scrawl in blue and Bellamy’s careful notes beside it in red. It was the list I’d made that morning I’d woken up after what happened with Finn. A bright pink post-it told me to turn the page over and I did, surprised to find another list.

  1. Meet the girl (check)
  2. Knock the girl up (check)
  3. Alienate the girl because you are a child trapped inside of a man’s body (double check)
  4. Be brought back together by her psycho ex and finally admit that you’ve been in love with her since the first night you met her (half check)
  5. Show her (and you) that you can be there for her (check)
  6. Finally make a move with an over the top and possibly ill-conceived and drawn out gesture that fails to make it clear you are asking her to move in with you (check)
  7. Propose with a weird list because you know she’s not above snooping through your things



“Well?” I heard a voice ask behind me and I turned to find Bell on one knee.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The list, requested a few times so I thought I'd post it. Bellamy's notes are in italics.

  1. Eat Breakfast - _three breakfasts, from the look of it_
  2. Clean up mirror - _ask Bell to clean mirror. Is it weird to write myself in the third person? Whatever, I’m going with it. Nope. Never mind. It’s weird._
  3. Clean up living room - _see above_
  4. Wash all of the pillows and blankets in living room. – _I’m sensing a trend, Princess_
  5. Google if you can somehow bleach an apartment and if that’s okay for baby. Bleach bomb maybe? - _Please don’t say bomb in front or Raven. Or Monty. Or Jasper. Or Miller… just don’t say bomb. I got spray and wipes, that should do it?_
  6. Spackle and paint fist hole by nursery (how is this my life now?) - _I’m on it. And it’s not your life, it’s just a bad day._
  7. Wash bedding in case he touched it. Is burning it an overreaction? - _Overreaction? No. Expensive, unnecessary and bad for the environment? Yes. I’ll wash it. Twice._
  8. _Check roof later. -  You never have to back up there again. Ever. I’m on it._
  9. Why was chimney falling apart? _I think we’re good._
  10. Wait, why do I have a chimney? I don’t have a fireplace. Is that bad for the foundation or other builder-like terms? _Very technical, but you’re fine._
  11. Watch more HGTV and less Ghost Hunters - _No. Watch more History Channel._
  12. DVR Ghost Hunters - _I DVR’d Barbarian’s Rising. You’ll love it._
  13. Every single broken thing down here gave you extra time to keep the baby safe. No matter what happens, even if you lose the business, remember to be thankful for that. _~~I love you~~ (illegible). ~~You make me want to be a better man~~. ~~Fuck, no!~~ (illegible). ~~Have my baby~~ (illegible). ~~Mary me?~~ (illegible). ~~What the fuck is wrong with me??!!~~ (illegible)_
  14. Fix drying rack in studio, or does it need to be replaced? Ask Rae. _Maybe a Lincoln job?_
  15. Make list of broken supplies to replace. _I’ll keep the garbage so it’s easier to reorder._
  16. Embrace the weird acrylic mess in corner? Chisel it off? Kill it with fire? _If Lincoln can’t fix it I’ll try Raven, but tbh she kind of terrifies me._
  17. Bleach all handrails and doorknobs - seriously, bleach bomb? That has to be a thing. _Great, now I’ve googled it. It isn’t a (safe) thing, and I’m probably on some sort of watch list._
  18. Find out who fixed door and thank them. _You don’t have to thank me. But you’re welcome._
  19. Order new door for outside. And apartment. Steel. Wait, are titanium doors a thing? _But they’ll just be able to break through the wall. Wait, not helpful. I think titanium may be an unnecessary overreaction. This is Arkadia, if someone wants to hurt you they probably already know you and will get in because you let them. Wait, also not helpful. Internet is giving me mixed results for titanium doors. I think I picked out a good one though. If you don’t like it I’ll go back tomorrow._
  20. Ask for help fixing shelves. Raven? _I like that his job has no electricity or chemicals involved._
  21. Sort through mess on floor, most of it still looks okay? _It looks like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, but I think we’re good._
  22. Do I need a new office chair or is it pregnancy? _The chair sucks. I just ordered you one of those bouncy ball things off of Amazon._
  23. Make a sign for door that somehow explains store closed without saying why exactly. _Princess, the whole town knew what happened before you fell asleep last night._
  24. Shit - Call Mom, like now! _Raven’s on it._
  25. Call Monty. _Miller handled it… what are your thoughts on me playing cupid? It’s dumb right, with my track record?_
  26. Let Bellamy know baby’s okay? Is that weird? Why is everything so weird with us? _It’s weird because of me, but I’ll fix it._
  27. Find phone! Is it on roof? _Yep, and dead. Where do you keep your charger?_
  28. Insurance - check timeline for reporting. Do I need to report? Wells would know what to do. _Miller is finishing up police report then he and Lexa will handle it._
  29. Do I need an alarm system? _Not if I just drag the couch in front of the front door every night to make sure you’re safe._
  30. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE A CHIMNEY AND NO FIREPLACE? WHERE DOES THE RAIN GO?? _I checked when I was up there and it looks fine. I called Marcus and he says it was all taken care of in the rennos but he’ll stop by later to double check._
  31. Can I get waffles delivered? If so, why does anyone ever leave house? _I’ve got a hook up. Okay, the hookup is Fox, and she didn’t deliver, but Sterling was at the diner and dropped it off for you on his way to school so… pretty slick._
  32. Google jobs where you don’t have to leave house or wear pants and can eat waffles all day. _Artist. Porn. Writer. Porn. Your list is making Google think I’m a creep._
  33. Figure out how to apologize to O for being an ass. Offer to help her decorate? Her hinting has been getting pretty hard to ignore, but it might piss Lincoln off. Figure out how to pre-apologize to Lincoln. Unlimited studio access? _Wait until I have my stuff out of their garage? It should be soon, I have a plan._




End file.
